[44] The All TOO TYPICAL Parasitic Christian Mind

1. I definitely believe the literal truth of the Bible.(Neven, this means that you have to kill me. If you don't know how often god kills people for being heretics and not believing in your faith then you haven't read the bible. You honestly believe the world was created in 6 days? I can't believe you think you should stone your devirginized wife either) I follow it word by it sure proof that it's the word of God.(There is a book called "Misquoting Jesus" that you should read. Man wrote the bible. Man makes mistakes and people have agendas, just because you say you believe something doesn't not prove ANYTHING.) The fulfilled prophecies, promises, how the Bible goes hand in hand with today's events happening in the world. I mean come on. (Neven, find me one prophecy that has been fulfilled word for word. There isn't one. The same things you call "fulfilled prophecy" now are just disasters that people tried to call fulfilled prophecy then. This doesn't make any sense at all.) There's a book out there called the "Evidence Bible" and it shows scientific(real scientists with faith and lack of faith) proof why the Bible is true in its words and how it correlates right back to God.(No one is god! No one can say they talk to god or claim to know ANYTHING about him if he existed.  Read a newspaper and a Bible. They go right with each other. It's almost scary.(The news is completely manipulated by corporations and people with agendas to keep you living in fear. Just because you read some biased bullshit article on the end of days or prophecy does not prove anything other than your gullible.)

2. I was brought up in a Christian home, but that doesn't mean I was Christian. I was young so the "God" thing really didn't catch my full attention. I decided to be a Christian on my own becuase I told myself I can be wrong about this.(So you believe out of fear? Better to believe and go to heaven than not and go to hell? That's a pretty shitty reason in my opinion. You love god so much that you obey out of fear. How strong your faith must be) Every Sunday I went to church, the truth and proven evidence flowed within the room.(What evidence! What do you call evidence? You can call anything evidence, but if it doesn't exist in the real world to be tested and proved, you don't make ANY sense) And that's when I realized that God is really real and Christ did die for me and took my punishment in my behalf so I wouldn't be guilty on the day of Judgment.(Neven, what are you guilty of? Original sin right? You are damned to burn forever because a person that never existed ate an apple? That doesn't sound a little fucked up to you? Don't you want to do something wrong first before your judged? God loves you so much that he lets a super powered demon beast fuck with your feeble human mind? that's not a kind of love I want and don't understand why you do. Who was god trying to impress when he had Christ killed? If he was Christ then god was judge, jury, and victim?  And that's how I became a Christian, and I'm happier than I ever been. I continue to be blessed and I know these are not mere concidences.(These? These what? What coincidence are you talking about? No, thinking is not a coincidence. Coming to random conclusions about the your fate based on NOTHING is creepy and confuses me.

3. I'm glad you ask this question. When you look at a building Nick, how do you know a builder build it. Well, because of the visible proof of the building. You know somebody hade to make it, build it, or whatever. (So you believe in visible proof? Then what does God look like?) When you look at a painting Nick, how do you know a painter painted it. Well, because of the visible proof of the painting proves the painter exists. Somebody had to paint it, it didn't paint itself. And the same with creation. The moon, stars, mountains, animals, oceans, us people. We are the proof that a Creator exist(God).(NO, you obviously know NOTHING about the nature of matter, quantum mechanics, or evolution. Hell look into metaphysics and think yourself so important "proof"? We didn't make ourselves by chance, we were created in God's image.(NOONE says we god here by CHANCE. Evolution is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF CHANCE. I don't know why you would ever say such a thing.  Everything has a maker.(If everything has a maker then what made your god? YOU DID. And if god was just always here then why can't the universe be called god? We don't know exactly how it got here either) A building has builder. A painting has a painter. And creation has a God. And you have a conscious Nick given to you by God so you will know right from wrong.(Wrong again, I have evolutionary reasons to have "right" and "wrong" everyone follows their own rules that semi fit in with some bigger set of IDEALS that NOONE really follows completely. If you weren't "good" growing up you wouldn't eat or even be able to live. If you were bad, especially with your mom, you'd get in trouble. It's called cause and effect, not god's inspired word. You can't say you don't have a conscious becuase every one has one.(I never said I didn't have a conscious, and some people conscious is not running by the same rules as yours. There are plenty of reasoned and logically thought out ideas that you would never agree with, and by the way, there being thought up and acted upon "for Christ." In Romans in the Bible, it says God has given light(a conscious) to every creature so they will know right from wrong. I don't need FAITH, MY PARENTS, AP PREACHER, THE BIBLE, CHRISTIAN LEADERS, OR ANYONE prove to me that God exist. All I need is eyes that can see and a mind that can reason and use common sense. Plus look at us Nick, we made with a design. Look at our eyes, hands.( Our eyes fall well short of "perfect" or best designed by god. There are animals living today that could see shit coming eons before we could. And MANY MANY parts of our bodies, the knees, eyes, prostate, appendix, and digestive system are just a few of the things that fuck up all the time and aren't as good as other animals.) They all made with purpose, not chance. Even Charles Darwin quoted that the eyeball can't be formed simply by natural selection, that it is impossible.(First off, have you read anything by Darwin, and what have you? Second Darwin was completely atheistic, I've read his books and about him so if you want to argue about people at least do your research first) So even Charles Darwin, the creator of the evolution idea, concluded by saying maybe God does exist(you can conclude this from the context clues, it's only evolution or there's a God, nothing else). That it makes sense. But every scientist loves to discard this quote. I wonder why.(Find me this quote, simple enough)

4. Previous pagan religions didn't really have Gods I think.(THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING YOU'VE SAID SO FAR. Paganism is what CHRISTIANITY IS BASED OFF OF. The same things you say about Jesus or the bible is what was said about the pagan gods. The virgin birth, the resurrection, the visits from wise men etc. Look up the old gods of Mithra and Dionysus if you only want 2 of the god's who had Jesus' story before he was born.) They thought they're gods were useless.(They thought their god's were responsible for EVERYTHING. How could someone ever create a god and think that it was useless? That doesn't make any sense and I can't even argue with you here until you read even one book on what paganism even was.) They grow on more individuality and their own spiritual growth rather than believing in a good vs. evil.

5. I have never in my life have read those books. Quite honeslty, I don't think I want to. I think you should stop picking up those crazy books that think they know about God, and they don't.(Never, no one knows about your personal "god" of whatever the hell you want to call it. these books don't argue god. They talk about history, they talk about all the wars and fighting and bullshit that reigns in the name of a deity that is supposed to be all forgiving, loving, and peaceful. The are biology book sand ..aries about who wrote the bible, where it came from, and why the version we have today is nothing like what it would have been originally.)  Their opinions are coming out of their butts(some claim they used to know God, and now they don't, I don't buy it. (Their FACTS are coming from evidence, looking at the real world and saying what IS HAPPENING today and what has happened in the past. There people read more books and study more things than you and I can even fathom at our ages. They have doctorates in biology, philosophy, they graduste from Oxford and Harvard. They want to learn, and more importantly they want to see change and a better world not filled with violence over and idea that NOONE CAN PROVE. To me, they're not trying to learn, they just trying to convince people its easier to not believe in something) and my opinions are coming from actual experiences.(What experiences? Of course its easier to just accept "all the answers," but I'm sorry I'm not five anymore and I can't just believe something because someone said so. I don't trust people, I don't know why you do. If you lived in an Isamic nation you would say the same things about that religion as you would Christianity. If you don't think any of your mind has been formed by your manipulative mom or upbringing your wrong. People are "designed" by evolution to listen to authority in order to survive. They aren't supposed to be controlled by some subjective idealist that is pushing their own agenda.  Read the Bible, not those crazy books. (I've read the bible, there is nothing more dangerous or telling of human nature that I could ever read.) Only thing they are doing is shrouding your mind. Your are a smart man and are smarter than those books to make your own decison about God.

6. The world without religion would be chaos.(That is utterly ridiculous. If people focused on just loving and living instead of pushing "god's agenda" there would still be violence and hatred, but there would be more people feeling guilty and less likely to do things they have to feel responsible for. If the world would be in chaos how would we ever get started before "religion" was ever a thing people worried about? Why aren't the prisons filled with atheists and agnostics? They aren't so don't even try to tell me they are, another area I've read into. What do you have to say about the Inquisition if you want to talk about chaos? Crime rates would be up. People would be stealing frequently and getting away with it. And no God, there would be no guidance. (If I don't believe and am not stealing all the time and being the unguided unreligious person how do you explain me? The devil made me read and get smarter? The devil makes me love nikki and my family?  We would be a bee hive with no queen bee. I don't even want to imagine a world without religion. That's too risky. (This just shows you how your environment as taught you to be afraid)

7. I get my morals from my conscious that God has given me and you Nick. You might say how do I know morals weren't learned from society.(they were, I don't realize if you knew, but the bible advocated slavery. If you believe in the literal word you would think slavery and raping concubines and other's wives is ok. And if you don't believe in those parts of the bible and you cherry pick it like everyone else, by what standard are you choosing certain parts of "god's" word? You can't tell me you listening to "god" to only hear other parts of "god." Well imagine yourself in a courtroom, a criminal kills his wife, sister mother, and father. The reason he said he killed them was becuase he wasn't taught morals from society. And the judge lets him go because of it. This would be ridiculous. You know darn well he knows murder is wrong. Why does he know it? It's because of his conscious.(He knows murder is wrong because its going to get him killed right back. Some people can kill. They can kill even easier when they don't feel like their the one's doing it. If its done for god, quoted from the bible, they can be a happy murderer. Without religion you would have good people doing good things and bad people doing bad things, for good people to do bad things, that takes religion.)

8. If I converted to another religion, I don't think my parents would care that much (So your parents wouldn't care about your eternal soul that much, oooookkkkkayyyyy.). They would be upset, but they know it's my choice. It's like saying if I wanted to be gay. They know the moral thing is to be straight in our society.(How is it moral to be straight? Your telling me you don't know ANY moral gay people? Your gonna be in shock when you get to college. Its also studied biologically and backd by evidence the reasons that people can't choose to be gay and just are. Maybe something else you should read about) But what can they do. It be like my parents having a cure or medicine for me which is Christianity to heal my sickness. And I don't want it for some reason. (So one day when your dying of cancer you want a prayer circle instead of kemo therapy?)  They can make me take it. You see where I'm kinda going with this?

9. Extremists in Christianity has nothing to do with Christianity. (Neven, how can you possibly say that? If people are doing bad things in the name of Christ what sense does it make to say they have nothing to do with Christianity? They have everything to do with it. they have the scary aspect, the main reason I fear and hate people who don't look before they leap. There are people that are willing to blow up the country in order to fill some bullshit prophecy. Here's an idea, lets know what the prophecy is supposed to be and then be surprised when purposely act to make it come true. I predict I'll save this convo, god told me so, wait and see if it happens.) There are two different kind of Christians.(NO there are Christians that live in dogma that they ignore and don't think about, and there are Christians that do literally acts because they interpret one thing or another to make them do "good" and "bad" things. The ones that come to you in love and try to share their faith with you without disrespect. The other kind is the "so-called"(keyword) Christians that want your money and stand up on buildings and say "Your'e going to hell", "Jesus is better than beer", "Turn or burn". This is not God's will.(This is exactly god's will, have you ever read the old testament? Nothing has killed, been more racists, anti-Semitic, misogynistic, narcissistic, or angry than Yahweh   Jesus didn't do this when sharing his faith. In the Bible, it says we Christians are in the midst of, meaning we are mixed with hypocrites, and people who say they do good things and but don't. You see, on the day of Judgment, God is going to sort them all out from the righteous and unrighteous. And the people, who say"Turn or burn", they are going to be the ones headed far south. No one is responsible for these extremists. Well, except the Devil. (The fucking devil is not responsible for ANYTHING. THAT IS A COMPLETE COP OUT. When someone can't take the responsibility for their own dirty hands they blame either god or the devil. When they can't understand something they blame god or the devil. When they get lazy and don't care to think about what or are scared of what the answers may be they blame god or the devil. If you try to say the devil does anything your are scared of taking responsibility, even part of the responsibility, for the terrible things that people do in the name of your shared faith. The extremists are ultimately responsible for the extremists, you and I are responsible for the extremist. We will be the ones to make them stop and try to work in the word of actual proof and reason. Fuck the devil. If you think he has ever influenced you or is influencing you or the world around you then I'm at a loss for what else to really say to you...:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

[43] Can You Believe It

Can you believe it?

I find when people say "I respect what you believe, but I don't agree with you" they have no idea what their talking about. I believe in:

I believe in Life, Love, and Happiness.

I believe in Freedom of expression.

I believe in Knowledge, provable facts, and evidence.

I believe in an open mind.

I believe people need to remedy denial, delusion, and dogma.

I believe in PEACE.

That is all, if you respect and don't agree with that then I don't understand you, nor care to. Maybe you don't know about how the brain works, and that's ok for now, but I'm making it my burden to inform people about how and why they think they know everything. It kills me too how people can read only one rant blog and think they have my position solidified in their minds. Good job "summing up the facts and taking for granted." It's too typical.

My head incessantly hurts when I don't understand something. I'm suffering from trying to empathize with a person who can know what I know, believe in their religion, and be comfortable with the denial of facts and outright contradiction that now defines their existence. Those "moderate Christians" that have formed their own religion of hand sitting in the face of action and screaming "respect" when bombarded with probing questions. I can't do it, don't keep trying.

I fuck up all the time. Give me a task and rest assured before I can do it perfectly and consistently, even if its easy and "under my belt" I will screw it up at least once. I can admit it and take the heat. I'm not afraid to be wrong and in fact, depressingly enough, almost always expect it. 9 times out of 10 when I hear some authoritative figure call my name at work or school I automatically assume I'm wrong or in trouble. Now I don't always want to feel wrong or like I mess up, but that's reality. When you investigate, when you realize, and when you question why your wrong you can learn how to prevent freaking out or getting upset when something happens. This kind of mindset needs to be adopted by those who are afraid of what will happen if they started to disbelieve. One of understanding and growth, NOT damnation. If God wanted you to ignore fact and evidence, throw away this life in hopes for the next, why the hell did he arm you with brains that can only operate on what you logically deduce and learn and perceive here and now. That has got to be one of the most important things you need to know about how your brain works. You literally are what dreams are made of. You are capable of thinking and doing sooo sooo much with information it is scary.

I like to learn. When I read books its not so I can find more things to "bash" religion, I simply learn why they came to be, how the nervous system operates, facts about other religions, and all the evidence that science has found to suggest, more outright disprove, things that are widely accepted and comfortable to swallow. That's why I get angry when I talk to people who believe in literal interpretations of text, or that the word is "inspired". They believe in parts, and always the parts that further their own ideals and worldview, that don't have any credibility until thought credible before the parts were seen. You are not a product of god, you are the mental and physical representation of what you can perceive at any instant. Your brain doesn't allow for any "belief" that isn't in the shadow or better represented by something deeper, more clear, and more consistent. The matter that you consist of is always moving and ever changing. There, in a sense, is no "you."

I always wonder why, when its too easy to do, we can draw parallels with the bible's god and a human. I mean humans say the same things and use the same manipulative techniques today that the bible is famous for using as "perfectly inspired." Defensive and petty statements that are nothing of how you'd want a god to act. I mean the second I hear of a jealous god I'm beyond confused. What could ANY representation of a perfect all knowing and lovable character EVER have to be jealous about let alone feel the need to tell anyone about it. It really is just that simple sometimes. The bible needs to be on the shelves next to the Iliad and characters like Yahweh and Satan need to be retired like Zeus and Dionysus.

You think what people believe isn't hurting you. You live in an age where people are blowing themselves up on buses and crashing planes into buildings. Blind faith and misguided, misconstrued information can be spread like wildfire with the internet and news. When your president thinks it's the beginning of the end of days your friends and family get to die in Iraq. When North Korea and Islamic factions think the pure filth that is the West and "Christians" are unworthy and taking over and their chosen time has come, you get nuked. There is NO TIME left for being lazy, "respectful", and tolerant. I'm tired of it and YOU SHOULD BE TOO. I know already that if your reading this your not blowing people up, others of your faith are, or are willing to die and take others with them. I know you may not know all the facts and reason I have to be so blunt and angry. Here's an opportunity to learn and gain perspective. If your not talking, if your not angry, if you don't do the basic things even a dirty hippie can pull off, I have ZERO respect or tolerance for you. I will not care about your feelings, I will not subject myself to your contradictory dogma, and I will not fear coming off as pampas or arrogant. If that comes with living in the real world, being an individual, and spreading truth so be it.

If you think errant facts need to be preserved for you to carry on living, your lying. If you think the bad things that happen because of faith are because people aren't doing it "correctly," your lying. If you think sitting in your fear bubble and the world views from the rest of humanity are helpless to pop it, your hastening your already eminent death.

[42] Before Ee Even Get StarTED

"Imagine all the people, living for today."

That song has been embedded in my head and is my recommendation for the future world anthem. You'd be too quick to say that I hate religion and fear or resent god or w/e else that first pops into your head when I try to discuss your "faith." After watching License to Wed, of all movies, I realized how badly people need to fully appreciate where someone is coming from before they can even begin to understand and think about what's being said. For me a better statement would be that I hate the countless negative things done in the name of Jesus or a god. I hate when people "justify" blissful ignorance in the face of factual knowledge. I hate seeing defensive stances taken in an area of your life that should mean so much more to you than something to fight for instead of express.

The truth is, I don't care at all if you believe. If it "makes you a better person," "adds meaning to your life," and "isn't harming anybody" then go for it. A church go-er can walk in and see all the people in the choir who "love to praise Jesus." They look around at all the heads nodded in "prayer." They "ask for forgiveness" and get blessed. I can't do that. I see people who simply like to sing and appreciate the musical energy. I see people huddled over mimicking what their parents taught them, behaving respectfully, and wishing really hard. I watch people as they give up after exhaustively pointless attempts to justify their guilty deeds and thoughts.

I will never feel intimidated or scared of your god or knowledge of the gospels. Don't look for me if you want to argue with bible quotes, miracles, or nice people stories. If you don't  see how easily I can argue the bible with the bible, find plausible scientific explanations for the miracles, and tell you just as many bad people stories your fooling yourself. All I ever ask for people is to be honest. The same kind of honest that made me rant for countless hours about "love." Honesty that accounts for 20 or so depressed and pissed off blogs. REAL TRUTH that pushes you to get informed, most assuredly stress out, and ultimately achieve real happiness. That thing that keeps your heart steady and your head on when your faced with something you don't yet understand. The lack of understanding pill is the hardest to swallow and takes the longest to digest, but the rewards are so insurmountable later you won't regret the side effects.

You must always remember I won't try to fight "your god" because if I try we both already know I'm wrong your right and I'm destined to "lose." If you justify your accusations and beliefs in ignorance, or better said, "on faith" I won't bother to argue and will only suggest certain books or documentaries I can all but assume you won't read or watch. The ultimate paradox will always remain however, though we think we know so much, at the same time we really don't know anything. If you don't at least settle, better yet, begin to question, the ground in your own mind how much bigger are you making the problem? Where is the advice your giving really coming from? What message are you actually trying to preach? Sure, its simple to agree on the basics, you know, peace, love, yada yada, but what hat happens when we hit the details? Instead of arguing semantics why can't we just simply agree on those simple things of peace, love, and yada yada and stop there. Your religion is not your spirituality and especially not your individual nature. I don't care to, nor try to, "attack" you. I look to explain what you believe. Moreover I look for you to explain and understand what you believe. If you don't think that's where I'm coming from, that's on you, just don't expect anything out of me that I wouldn't award anyone else with a contently closed mind. If you'll never see me as anything but some "hateful atheist" or "religion attacker" and my opinions or better yet, proven facts, just will never matter, the very least I would hope for you to take from me are some questions you can ask yourself. Alone and quietly in your bedroom perhaps at four in the morning when no one can judge you. Light a candle, put on some Jack Johnson, sit back and just ask. I don't know what will happen. Simply ask. Don't get angry, don't give up, and don't be afraid of your answers.

[41] Can A Nigga Get An Amen?

Can a nigga get an AMEN?

Finished "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. Basically amazing. I really don't care if your up your Christian faith's ass or not its one to read and think about. What people don't seem to get, if you accept something as a fact, because it is proven as a fact, doesn't mean that you've automatically denied something else. (Maybe not the case for Mr. Dawkins as the atheist pope but….) This is something starting to piss me the fuck off when I try to talk to anyone about their "faith." They believe in belief to such an extent that simply hinting to the side that proves them wrong sends a childlike paroxysm my way. This is fucking ridiculous. If you have all the answers tightly wrapped in the bible and you KNOW everything then how can you contain yourself when an opportunity presents itself to shut me up? Just because you haven't been presented with the right facts or asked yourself the right questions doesn't mean you have any room to start on some tangent of assumed claims somehow construed as your "reasoning and logic" proving you right. How many playground fights do I have to run into before someone is ready to just fucking sit, listen, and discuss?

I said before that a reaction with "the truth" so much less telling than your actual expression of actual truth. And that is such a true statement I don't even know what to pick apart first. I say something about the un-originality of Jesus' story and about how many Christian norms are evolved from pagan rituals. Basic level arguing points to me, mind you. In retort I get "God is great, I'm saved!, why are you attacking my beliefs!?, Your going to hell!" and all of a sudden all I see is some insecure child throwing a temper tantrum. I'm sure as hell not stunned by your magnificent version of god that makes you such a great soldier, full of peace and love.

I personally have never said nor can faithfully say "I don't believe in god." To me, it would be the same thing as saying that I don't believe in orbiting teapots or the flying spaghetti monster. Whether some things exist or don't its not my place or within my capabilities to make claims. This is the same case FOR EVERYONE. Belief in something because it can't be disproved is desperate and fucking retarded.

Literally, with every ounce of pissed off connotation behind it can you ever express, how dare you tell someone they are going to hell. I've talked about how much I hate mental abuse. Though that was in relationships the same effect applies to anyone with a mind weak enough to take it. Convince someone that they will endure everlasting hellfire and wah lah no shit a new "believer" is strapped and ready. This is especially deplorable when it happens to children. Dawkins makes the point over and over throughout the book. Indoctrinating children is plain terrible. To label someone so young and incapable of contemplating religion and their place in the world as Christian or Muslim children instead of child of Christian/Muslims parents is where he wants people to cringe. Doesn't that show how weak religion really is though? It deliberately goes for people who are fed up with or incapable of really thinking for its arsenal. Don't you wish you could be all you can be?

Its really sad because I just kinda started hanging with this girl who is entirely, and quite frustratingly, self defeatist. The too frequently typical story of hard upbringing, messed up parents, whatever else. Then all of a sudden she "found Christ" yada yada the story goes on as expected. If there is a more picture perfect example of crawling into a hole, trying to change the subject, outright fear and resentment when the word religion is even said I challenge you. In order for me to call someone a friend I need honesty, trust, and talks. I don't try to shatter your view on life because I get a feeling of conquest, but only because I respect what it is to be human and wish you would do the same. I also was talking with this guy who I work with as well. He had such a hysterically horrible story I have to retell it.

One day he's driving with his friend. She says something so stupid or arrogant about God that he chooses to test her. He starts to speed. Taking his hands off the wheel she starts to freak out and ask what he's doing. Faster and faster he goes. She starts getting hysterical, yelling at him to stop. He starts to slow the car and put his hands back on the wheel. She starts to cry and wants to be taken home. He sardonically asks, "Where is your God?" I was like daaaaamn when I heard this story, and though its pretty fucked up it was a harsh way that hopefully at least made someone see through their own bullshit.

            I want people to put themselves in my position or at least allow me enough of themselves so I can understand theirs. Do I understand that when your life feels threatened and Jesus comes along with promises of perfection, love, and happiness your compelled to fight, quite ferociously, to protect that? Yes. Do I understand that we don't know everything and no "little scientist" is ever going to disprove god? Duh. Is it understood that some people can't imagine their lives as anything meaningful or worthwhile unless their on their knees and brought to tears? Unfortunately, again yes. This is the most tragic of the realizations when pondering religion. It is a fact that if you can't fill that void that some people will freak out and act irresponsibly. You also need to remember they probably won't do anything more or less than someone who was doing the same in the name of god
 

            I can sympathize with not being able to satisfy that "love" urge. I can discuss what it feels like to be alone. I know how fucked up you can get when your so confused you can't even rant coherently. I understand the wave of thoughts that can overwhelm you when depression sets in. NEVER has a simple promise of heaven and eternal life and love made any of that less compelling or more easily deniable. I will always believe that people can lie about their faith, but never be able to lie to themselves. That pinch of doubt you feel or have at any one time felt won't go away no matter how many bible verses you throw at me, proclamations of being saved, or condemnations of peoples' actions. I bet my reasons for staying content and finding happiness, because they can't be based on a "because," will provide an actually peaceful foundation on which to express myself. 

            This is what people believe. They will be sort of good to people they kinda like and relate to their entire life. They can, more or less, frequent church and "pray" about the lottery ticket they've yet to win or relative that needs a cure. One "miracle" will happen in their family that will all but solidify god's existence.(who needs to acknowledge non sequitur reasoning anyway) They will profess their undying love for Christ to those feeble non-believers and feel "fulfilled" knowing god's ego is satisfied making them saved. When they die, as long as its not slow and agonizing, it will be with uneasy "pride" and those few indiscretions they maybe forgot about will be forgiven anyway. For the rest of eternity they get play with their new super powers and dance across the universe. This is what people believe.

It's not an accident that the churches don't teach the history of their religion, or any facts about other religions. It's about dominance not tolerance. Its about "right" and "wrong" instead of relativity and exploration, truth in your heart of hearts. People don't know the real facts about their beliefs because they don't want to know, they don't feel they can handle knowing, their family and friends will black list them and get anxious. FEAR. You are being controlled at any one point in time by something because deep down at some evolutionary level you are AFRAID. No one really cares that their child might be sitting next to a Muslim child in class despite the fact their so-subscribed religions would tell them to kill or disregard the others existence as a person.

IT. IS. NOT. YOUR. FAITH. YOU ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU RELATE TO OR BELIEVE A MERE STORY YOU GOT USED TO GROWING UP. YOU ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN BECAUSE YOU ARE COMFORTABLE GOOD AT GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS. YOU ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN BECAUSE ALL YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS WANT YOU TO BE. YOU ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN BECAUSE YOU'VE DECIDED TO STAY IGNORANT ABOUT WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO BE A CHRISTIAN.

You believe in a story that's easiest to swallow. You believe in what makes you feel, too falsely, powerful. You believe that exhaustion of thought and reason is where your comfort lies.  Its bullshit, fucking bullshit. Try to handle all the pain and guilt your responsible for self inflicting and see how quickly the grand details behind your heaven pile up. See how quickly people go from just being wrong to being wrong and going to hell. See if you show up more and sit up a little straighter in church when what's really being asked of you starts to sink in. This isn't the fucking holy spirit "working through you." This is your subconscious gripped by fear, say hello. This is that one sentence, that one idea, the random thought that crept in and said "how could god…." or "I can't believe…." Your desperate attempts at maybe trying harder or working more never truly quiet your restless mind. Nor do they justify any bullshit action you take because you don't know enough about yourself to take care of yourself. Your errant 'reasoning' and 'work' for the 'lord' wall you into a room of invisible barriers.

You don't need a guide book and you don't really wonder where morals come from. Punching fuckers in the face is harmful to your self preservation. Killing your parents would've cut off the food supply. Stealing friends girlfriend loses your ride to school. Cause and effect keeping you in line? Nah.You can't say that life isn't worth it unless god is pulling the strings. Unless your crazy ass is Michael Fritzius your kids will be more than enough purpose to live and die for. God forbid learning and understanding be enough to satisfy you either. How dare you try to love and be there for someone without doing it as a Christian. You'd have to be a monster or something to think what you feel is valid. You don't think heaven is up there and hell is down there because they just are, you just don't care to discuss the relativity of down and up and the uselessness of them in space. We are sooooo important because god gave us the earth that didn't explode from a marble and didn't have to be inherently improbable before we got here, and didn't take an incomprehensible amount of time and energy to form.. In fact, if the odds were 1 in a billion that the earth would exist. There would still be A BILLION earths that could inhabit our universe. You think your so important. That your worthy and dare I say capable of knowing the unknowable. To me, your ignorance and arrogance are sickening.

[39] Empathy?

I sometimes wish I was a better faker. Liar is too cynical. Most people aren't "liars" they just absent (hopefully only absent) mindedly fake their way through life. It's apparently not that hard to do. I just wonder if you can embody the fake when you think you can't help yourself from being you. In one sense my life would be easier if I pretended all I cared about was pussy. Then I would've said the right things and kissed the right asses. Then I would've forced myself into the gym thinking only of the cool new myspace pics I could put up and days at water parks and beaches I could flaunt it. I would've gone to those parties and gotten shit faced telling everyone how much I loved them and just needed their friendship because life just gets so hard sometimes. I would've blown paychecks on clothes and ring tones because come on, I'm young and its expected of me. I would have a million "friends." I don't know how much more or less someone can grow having done all that and gotten passed it, or simply passing it up all together. It gets old going through my phone and seeing tons of names and maybe two I could call. But then again I'm not really looking for just a person to be there. There's some ulterior motive like a good conversation. Maybe my big headedness has kept me left out of those social circles. Mind you I'm not loser with no friends guy just different kinds of friends who mostly seem to take part in the same types of things I kinda feel like I'm missing out on. I mean even Dickhead (as he will so and forever be referred to as you have to be fucked in the head to exhibit such tendencies and blame them on the devil) played her friends and family with his o-so-cheery personality and "lovable goofiness." I wonder how many prayers he said at a dinner table or long talks about faith and God he had to form such deep connections with them all. How many times that little pussy cried on someone's shoulder because he just isn't receiving enough Jesus and needs their help. Meanwhile I get to hear all the opinions from the outside. The comments about what people really thought behind his back. The instances where he treated someone like the dog he viewed them as. Times when his "Christianity" didn't need to be generous or helpful. Talk about martyrs when you and a handful of others try to explain the truth and prevent disaster.

So then what after the fact.

He's always there. Those "connections" give off that trust me vibe when pulled at. "Remember when you n me……" and a new virus starts to form. They'll start with nothing more than myspace comments to her friends and sisters on their birthdays. Maybe phone calls with her best friend. Helping her dad move something into his house. His presence she'd never be able to rid. And why would she even think she'd want to? She was in love with it wasn't she? That first year was so amazing, he was so perfect. Why couldn't he keep up the lie, why? If only the truth wasn't so hard. Maybe this is just a test from a God who isn't really supposed to test? Why wasn't the love good enough? She tried so hard, really. Everyday she prayed and cried and talked and prayed and cried and talked. What honestly could've gone wrong?…..God will fix him. Or maybe God has to fix me. (talking from her point of view now) Maybe I wasn't good enough and made him turn so bad. That one Sunday I wasn't focused on God and maybe….I mean he showed me the door. He let me experience God. I owe him my life. My family pretends to hate him. I mean they put on that good face when he's around. I'm strong. I can hold on and make it no matter what. With all my family issues I'll be able to control my love life. The love of my life. I wish people would back off. They don't know. They just don't understand how hard it is. Its my responsibility. Its my burden. Look what Christ did and I'm stressing over Dickhead? Over my own woes? How big of me. I'm going to go read the bible and look for insight. I'm gonna go talk to my sisters. They love me too. UUGH this is so complicated. And why can't he just drop it. I'm in no position to just start up again new. He can be so stupid and immature sometimes too. I can ignore it. I do feel good after compliments though. I shouldn't flirt. I can't help it. Is it because I actually like him or am I just that in need of someone? He says he loves me. I tell him back. But I love all my friends like a Christian should. Why did I hold his hand? I know how bad he says he's got it for me, but is that really true? I mean he admitted to watching porn. That hurts. Maybe as much as it did when I heard it from Dickhead. There we go. I can just find all the things wrong and use them to justify pushing any "maybe feeling" away so I can just deal with what I have. He didn't shave today. He hasn't complimented my hair. He doesn't call. He said that really mean thing to our section. He won't stop asking me out. He isn't a Christian or is only trying to become one to get with me. (the list I'm sure goes on)

The bigger picture.

He is extremely self conscious and acts out in ways to appease and make people like him. I can fully appreciate where he's coming from unfortunately. The major fucking difference is I recognize it and he doesn't. He let it carry on and become his life, I decided to become completely blunt about life and not get fooled by it. His lifestyle allowed one of the most beautiful and special people in my world to get caught up and hurt by it. Mine makes me feel insane and without hope because there is no foreseeable answer or coarse of action. Neither is good. One is still sure as hell better.

A question answered.

Although the "high" road is filled with headaches and bullshit it is none the less a better platform for expressing anything close to real truth and love. I don't hate Jesus or want to be a rebel against God. I can just see, better now, what questions such beliefs carry over your head. How your faith can literally poison anything allowing you influence over it. What excuse is left?

[40] Purpose Driven Life

So I'm watching Rick Warren's talk on TED called Living a life of purpose. He believes that servitude is what people's lives are geared toward or engineered by god. I can empathize with this. I don't agree that it had to be god to make it so, but I do think its an important part in understanding on the route to self awareness. I just watched another talk about the backward understanding to show how evolution has created things with such a magnified purpose today. I simply cannot just throw out the idea that it isn't, at least in some sense, about you. It doesn't make sense to say how awesome you are and how much god likes to watch you live if its only about god. I can't grasp it. I want to live for someone else. At the same time I'd feel validated and happy because my evolutionary drive, which is inherently "me," was pushing towards the best mindset for self preservation. I think inherent self centeredness is not something to be ashamed of or looked down at, just something to be recognized. It doesn't take away from any expression of love. It doesn't invalidate any choice about the areas I choose to acknowledge as purposeful. Its just there. I really dislike when people say "you weren't an accident." When they say it, it implies that science is simply calling you an accident and therefore without purpose. It automatically presumes that a basis for existing based on fact and understanding is meaningless and propagated by some form of evil. You can have purpose and find meaning in life as a result of evolutionary process. You can say that the very fact you made it, are at the tip of the information age's ladder is the "reason" for you to exist. Warren goes on to talk about influence. How you should use yours for those that don't have as much. I don't really know what to think about this statement. It, to me, tends to reduce people he views as "lesser" to having less influence than the famous basketball players he talks to. In all actuality, despite the road being bumpy or not, to me, everyone has as much influence as they allow themselves. They can say something or impart an idea and it can randomly take off whether it was said by a basketball player or homeless guy. Obviously, the publicity will be one sided and the connections are in favor of the rich. The overlying idea stays the same. While you may have this drive to live for something else its not your charge to step in and profess it for anybody else. I wish more than anything I could be all I could be for ms. Dream girl, but no matter how crazy I make myself over the subject its not my job to use my influence, knowledge, or sense of self to impose over her my views on why I think we're meant to be. I just simply want to be because it just feels right and seems to make sense. Without religious views and pressures from other outside influences, I have faith that, we could just be. Exist together to find another purpose or greater sense of right that couldn't be realize apart. Living evolution. If its my charge as one of the best and brightest to perpetuate the evolutionary chain and provide for a promising future, you can bet I'll be the one to find someone so fitting its literally painful to think of settling for anything less.

It goes back to the arguments about what we can't explain. The voids that people want to fill with god because science hasn't gotten there yet, or may never get there. My "definition" or personification or embodiment what have you of "god" would be that undeniable and inexplicable force making you faithful in something. It doesn't have to be beyond all reason. It doesn't have to be in denial of other things. It doesn't have to be pre ordained and waiting for you. Perhaps you can't always perfectly reason and logically deduce you faith, but its still there. I'd hate to think that love is just a fundamental principal of evolution, and then again what if? Guess you'd have to understand a lot about the nature of evolution. Either way the point is, without faith altogether one can't seem to find purpose, not because they don't have faith in god. God then again because the excuse, crutch, for people too tired or ill informed to know how or where to look otherwise. So again, your faith doesn't reason or justify your convictions and beliefs it simply comes about because your born opinionated. Is that feeling in your gut a ball of residual fear propelling your "faith" or a driving force from something so right its diminished by mere definition?

[38] A Conversation With One Soldier For Christ Mike Fritzius

This is hard to read as-is. My responses are the () portions. I'll go through and bold them one day.

A "conversation" with One Michael (Soldier for Christ) F.

 I dunno if you read my blogs but i started to read yours. comments are
as follows: Why don't you seem to regard people who aren't Christians that exhibit
kindness, charity, patience, and perseverance as significant? It's obvious
> they've found something to make them attain such high quality whether
they choose to claim God as responsible or not yet they still aren't good
enough?

Because there's an overabundance of people who don't realize that their
motivations for having these qualities are selfish rather than God
glorifying. (first off, I know how selfish I can be, and I know the difference of what it feels like to be selfless) The idea of using the metaphor of being a servant for God
carries over to this: A slave doesn't feel like doing whatever they've
been tasked to do because it makes THEM feel good, rather it's what their
master demands of them.(Wait, so these soldiers of the faith that are supposed to be spreading the word and showing the paths are slaves now?) Christians are the same way, we do what we do
because it's all for God, not for ourselves.(Its what people say when they want to justify anything their not comfortable with, ehem the Inquisition)The idea comes from Matthew
7:21-23 which says:

"21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of
heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22
On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your
name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your
name?'
23 And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you
workers of lawlessness.'" (I guess people can't be good people just because it feels good and natural)(Again, perfect example of EVERYTHING being justified as long as you can blame God)

This along with the analogy of using fruit trees to describe faith and
works, and the idea in James 2 that "faith without works is dead" combines
into the concept that people who think they have it right because they're
"good people" are no better than people who are in open rebellion towards
God.(the claim doesn't define the action, and the works can express terrible things about the claim. Can anyone say persecuting homos?" It's almost like they're trying to fool God or work their way into
Heaven, and that's impossible. To use the fruit tree idea, if you have
some kind of regular tree, but glue a bunch of bright red apples all over
it (good works)... doesn't make it an apple tree. Likewise, if you have a
DEAD apple tree (dead faith), it doesn't produce any good works, even if
it's the right kind of tree (faith of SOME kind). Faith without works is a
dead faith. Works, however, do not create faith, but vice versa.(This is so stupid and confusing to me I don't really know what to say about it. God forbid he use real world examples to make sense and not convoluted analogies.)



> You refer to God's standards of designating whether one's a Christian or
not. I don't know how many times i can say it, NO ONE is talking to God.
The bible as his "word" is historically, factually, irrefutibly
incorrect
> in its wording, claims, and stories. And ITS NOT GOD'S FAULT. I really
suggest you read "Misquoting Jesus." and "The gospel of Judas" Man is man,
> man cannot trust man. To think any pastor, priest, layman, etc. is the
perfect guide to your happiness is a self esteem issue, not one of
salvation. To think the words are infallible and perfect is plain
denial.
> Its not an atheist or rebel attitude that says those things its just an
informed one.

I disagree that no one is talking to God.(Schizophrenics) I don't know how to approach
this paragraph since it's entirely structured on that statement(Which its not, that is one opinion, or fact, I offered, he chose to say otherwise and avoid what else was said), other
than the fact that making a statement like that is a core argument that
people have to disprove Christianity.(who's trying to disprove Christianity? I'm well aware its here and people are part of it. The only thing I disprove are people and their convictions, Not their God or their faith) I'm not sure how anybody can solidly
show that could be true, much like I can't solidly show that I'm right in
what I say either.(I can prove most if not all the claims I make, and what I can't I can bring up evidence supporting as "proof." He loves to say bullshit and call me incorrect and never provide why)

As far as the Bible being inaccurate, I'm sorry but so far, in as long as
I've heard that claim made, nobody has actually bitten into it enough to
give Christians reason to think the Bible is false. (The dumbest fucking thing he's said so far) An example would be
where you pointed out the verses before, verses which I'm sure have been
used many times to try and show that God contradicts Himself. (I explained that one already, he brought it up for no reason, even after I told him I was wrong) You've seen
that there's a lot more than what the collection of words says to be taken
into account to read it properly.(the is no "proper" way to read anything. Once it leaves the person it is completely in the hands of the interpreter. There is no such thing as a "perfect interpretation" is a complete fucking oxymoron)

I stay away from books that try and bring extra information to the Bible,
only because if the Bible really is inaccurate, then it can be shown using
only the Bible.(the new dumbest thing he's said so far) I'll give you a logical example: If we have a system of
statements that all together seem to make sense, like a book or
whatever... and then introduce something ELSE from outside that book that
contradicts something in the book, it doesn't mean that the new stuff is
actually part of the original system.(Its not about contradicting some claim, its showing factual evidence about the book itself. Like the dick through the wall example, it can say ANYTHING. Why it says what it says has nothing to do with contradicting what it says.)(This is also under the assumption that everything "makes sense" by whatever definition in the first place) All the time though, people assume
it is, (Maybe some people, but "I'm" the one talking to him" but all that ensues is that anybody who feels like it can make a
claim that something's untrue, and nobody questions it.(it's quite obvious I, as well as countless others, question "it.") This is exactly
what happened with the movie The DaVinci Code. I read the book but never
saw the movie, but all through the book I never took any of the "biblical"
stuff they said as fact. The Gospel of Thomas was written hundreds of
years after Thomas died--he didn't even write it. But people read the book
and saw the movie, and instead of checking the veracity of this rogue
gospel, they assumed that the Church was excerpting books they deemed to
be non-canonical.(I also read where the fiction sign was before I read the book, nor have I ever used it as an arguing point)

Also, I don't know if I gave you this impression, but really, salvation is
a trust issue between you and God. It doesn't come from any priest or
pastor saying you're saved, and there's no way to get in someone else's
head and compare the two. There are certain qualities that Christians
have, that can't be manufactured, that are clear indicators of true faith,
which I'll get to in another part. (Ya and when you fool yourself into anything, you'll subconsciously behave that way, go figure) again Schizophrenics)

> When I read about that woman who figured out she wasn't "saved" all i
could think was, great another person guilt tripped into following the
rules. If you ever have doubtful thoughts days "lacking of faith"
they're
> not wrong or ungodly, they're simply human. I don't know how, if we're
all
> God's creatures, an extension of Him, of His essence so on so forth, it
became such a terrible thing to simply exist.
>
> I sincerely hope all the metaphors for someone leading and guiding you
are
> just metaphors and not unexplainable movements and compulsions.
> (and unfortunately I don't think their just metaphors to this guy….how creepy could that get)
> The very fact that you asked the pastor if your were a Christian really
troubles me. Someone well aversed in the bible, a pinnacle example maybe
for his church, really had to ask someone else how they felt about
themself.(If there is a more glaring example how much of "yourself" can be lost than in this example I challenge you) If that happens in your own life how can you not see how
dangerous other "leaders" can be when faced with the same or other
difficult questions. Their actions will determine some course of action
for other "new believers."(perhaps, with evidence suggestion, them pushing a certain ideology or cause at any and every cost….in the name of God of course)

Well, I'll tell ya... It was kind of a weird week for me. I don't know
what in the world was going on but sometimes it happens.(NO shit, at least there's some hint your mind knows your human) Also, I tend to
be a little forgetful of what's happened in my life, and that can't be
explained except for the fact that God really was working in my life.(He can't define it so it just must be God, duh. What doesn't make sense about that?…..dumbass) It's
like having early alz heimer's or something.

But the reason I asked, is because of the saying "no man is an island". If
we separate ourselves from other believers, it's easy to spin off into
some wonky new ideology.(Creepy music and chanting of cult cult cult insues) So there are a few people that are very close,
people that I've shared things with that I trust and are very dear to me,
and the pastor is one of them--not because he's the leader of the church
but because he's really gone the extra mile on some things, for no reason
other than to make sure I'm feeling solid on stuff. I'm sure you're
familiar with the idea of "divide and conquer" as a good military
strategy--it's easier to destroy a group of people individually then take
them on all at once. The best way to avoid this is to surround yourself
with people who genuinely concerned about your spiritual welfare so that
everybody can protect each other.(thank you for the military lesson and the reason you can believe so well, everyone else is doing it and encouraging it, of course you feel comfortable and "right.")

And I do see how dangerous some leaders can be--there's also no shortage
of people out there who can effectively lead others astray because of
greed, or pride, or whatever. But I think the jump you're making here is:
If there are so many people that can steer others away from truth, how can
you be sure it's not happening now?(I fucking know its happening now, its called religion. He fucking assumed some random thing and asked a question that was at the basis of what I originally asked in the first place.) The answer is, that I'm sure because I
check what people say against the Bible, which is the truth against which
all Christians should check whatever people say.(of course, the "infallible." And I bet if I interpreted something to mean something different than he believed, and used it in an argument, guess who's interpretation would be "wrong.") At least in his mind…..

> Not to sound self righteous or indulgent but when you quoted the Galatians
passage its strikingly familiar to my ideal view of what love is and
compels you to do. Now this important fact aside, I didn't find anything
close to that by reading the bible and going to church, nor through
prayer. I don't think, to some degree at least, that essentially these are
> bad methods for finding yourself or getting good at the above traits,
but
> firsthand know they aren't always necessary or the best for job.
>
> There is a God within. You can fake anything that isn't actually you.
That's what the world is, reflecting fakers. Its the very denial of the
God within that compels one to act as such in the first place.
>
> (Him)"If you love the Lord, there's no way it's fake because we cannot love
Him
> through our own emotions--it comes as a direct result of Him first
loving
> us. So right there, if you do love Him, it's a pretty big evidence
toward
> you being a Christian."
>
> I don't understand what this means AT ALL. To me, its like you said, "We
can't fake love something because we don't have love in the first place
that isn't from something that we love....?" I guess I just really want to
> know what your personal definition of love is. Because i can't make hide
nor tails of if the "love" your referring to has any evidence it exists
for any reason other than you simply saying it does.

To answer that, I need to explain the difference between natural man and
someone who's genuinely been converted.

People, by their very nature, don't like being accountable to anyone, nor
do they like having someone in a higher position than they are.(Tell that to any Masochist)(and this claim is made after experiencing what its like to be everyone and after reading all the books he so deliberately shies away from) It can be
in varying degrees from a minor dislike to full-on rebellion. Take a look
anywhere in history, choose any government structure you like, and you'll
see this is the case. Any place there is a king or queen who is installed
for life, attempts on their life are made. Anyplace that has a president
that operates for a set amount of time, information warfare and smear
tactics are used to try and remove them. Anywhere a militaristic
dictatorship is in place, peasants rise up and try and overthrow them.(So because some people rebel the ONLY reason is because the power was there in the first place? NO. I BET THOSE POWERS HAD A CHARACTER FLAW OR TWO THAT CAUSED THE REBELLION……DUMBASS)
Anarchy doesn't even work, because eventually the strongest, richest or
smartest person gets to the top of the ladder, and is sniped off by
somebody else. Everyone, everywhere, prefers to be their own authority,
not having to answer to anyone, creating their own law and their own
truth. (He even ADMITS my main argument about the human condition right here)(this also doesn't mean that people don't agree with or empathize with any authority)But that also carries over into religion... because then the
question comes up, whose truth is truer? Whose is better? (NO ONES!!!!!!!!)

So let's take it a step further:(because the last paragraph was so in depth already) How do you feel about the most ultimate
authority, God, who has made rules and will actually punish those who
choose to disobey? (You can't answer such a question until you define what God means to you) Every argument has been made: (Completely blanket and plain ignorant statement, he's more than likely only fought with idiots and groups me into such. Also, I've never said ANY of these things to this guy---) There is no God, there
are many ways to God, there's no such thing as heaven or hell, God was
made by people who wanted to keep the "hoi polloi" in line, etc.

The natural man hates having authority over him... so where does the idea
of loving the most high authority even come from? (my guess, it came from someone who couldn't find love with something they viewed as "lesser.")( (why do you only love a "higher" authority, what the fuck is wrong with "just love.") The only way this is
possible is if that man has been changed somehow on a really basic
level--something about his nature is totally different. So, it goes back
to the simpler statement, if you truly love God, then you're a true
Christian. If you want to look at it with logical rules, consider it a
conditional statement: (you find the logic, I again, have no idea how to address this)

~C -> ~L If you're not a Christian, then you don't love God (All of this is only assumed and only by the assuming "Christian") (This guy does not see me as a Christian with the simple statement "I love God" if he did he wouldn't have to argue)(and some examples of what people call "Christian" are NOTHING of what I want to associate with if I "must be a Christian by loving God")
L But if you do love God
C Then you must be a Christian

or to say that being a Christian has the effect of having love for God.
That way, if you love God, it's because you're a Christian.

My definition of love is this: You commit yourself to serve and cherish
whatever you love, at any cost.(I almost agree with him here except for "at any cost" I want to believe it, and at first compulsion would, but there's so much danger in claiming that about anything under the vague cloud of what "love" means)

> I'm also intrigued on this concept of God working within the constraints
of time. He's outside of our realm no? He simply is, a sheer expression of
> will and perfection. What needs to be "finished"(In humans) in a sense that isn't
already there and simply yet to be realized?

We are constrained by time though, which is why I worded that the way I
did. Sorry for any confusion ;) It's strange, trying to conceptualize the
difference between a being that spans across ALL time, and us, who are
basically a blip and can only experience what we perceive to be the
present.(To me, there's infinite time and opportunity in the present moment. By perceiving and acknowledging what's going on "now" I acknowledge and express/love "God") To say that something needs to be finished, is just a human way
of expressing what's going on, that will be finished to us, in a span of
time that we experience.

> I guess i get a little disjointed too when i respond back to you within
the hour of reading something you send me and sitting back for weeks
essentially losing the memory of a point i was trying to make waiting.
Everyday hoping to find any actual responce to the myriad of questions i
ask about your specific views and life. Instead i tend to get basic
overviews of an idealogy that has to personal feeling behind it. Maybe i
was a bit unclear when i first started talking to you. I'm infinitely
more interested on what Michael Fritzius has to say about my questions and
> claims than Michael Fritzius's faith has to say. Otherwise i might as
well
> talk to any "Christian" that may think them self informed and helpful.
The
> insignificant "self" is only referred to as such when someone decided
their interpretation of something "divine" called it as such. I refuse to
> believe you can go your entire life as a "Christian" (at least his definition and perception) unless you start to
deny that your even alive. Go figure......

Again, I'm really sorry about that because today I was thinking, "Man, I
really need to respond to Nick before he thinks he's nailed me on
something." (I've nailed his ass more times than they have Jesus)Seeing this last email here got me started. Honestly, it's a
ton of stuff to respond to, but I find that when I just start typing,
things start coming out, and I get into a groove.(A lost and pointless argument making groove) Again, I've really
squandered my time lately and I'm truly sorry that I haven't gotten back
as quickly as I'd like.

But, as to my way of approaching your questions, I delibrately try to stay
away from talking about my personal take on things, simply because I've
been burned too many times by people saying "well that's your opinion" and
totally writing off what I just said.(Blanket assumption about what I would do with the information, maybe evidence he has a dumbass opinion) I'm really more interested in
showing you why I believe the way I do(Which I don't give a shit, I can't know why he does until I know where he's coming from, not the bible, I'm well aware already what that makes people do and think), not because I'm trying to be
general, but because I want to show you that this really is the
overarching truth about everything. My opinion is either going to make you
say the same thing about "well to each his own", unless I point to the
Bible to explain why I believe what I do. (Not true AT ALL the blue and red pen argument comes to mind. "my own" isn't my own, its what I've learned and relate to. NOTHING aside from ME is ME. If my opinion is retarded, the fact I have one doesn't make the opinion any less retarded)

> I don't want to denounce nice people in nice congregations who preach
nice
> ideas. I want to make people face themselves. I want people to use their
God given right to run the full coarse of their brains. I want heads to be
> talked in circles because you finally realize its not just that simple.

That's good, and I agree.(Lie, see previous bullshit) Churches in America are way too complacent
lately and full of people who think it's all about attendance(Didn't say a fucking thing about church attendance, nor do I care). And I hope
you don't think what I have is a blind belief(belief has to be fact based, faith is the only blindness), because it's crucial for
Christians to keep challenging theirselves. It's way too easy to take tiny
steps a little ways off from the original course and end up miles away
from the truth in a short amount of time.(Like the tiny steps that asshole took when he started treating someone so lovely like shit?) So yeah, use the brain, I agree.(I said, use the brain to its full coarse, not just enough to make yourself feel comfortable)

I
> think you owe it to yourself as a human being. You can't, and i believe
this sooo intently its insane, think that experience, trial and error,
and growth aren't worthy or significant if they aren't done with a
Christian
> badge on.

I do, if what I believe about why we're here is true.(And the only reason "you" believe it is because the bible says so….dumbass) If the whole reason
we're here is solely to glorify God(and that's a big if), and we fail at that, then it doesn't
matter what actions we've done. I'm trying to say, the focus isn't us, not
humans or existence or thought.(Don't focus on or with the brain God gave you, just awesome advice)

> No one is really a Christian (completely, or by his definition), not because it has bad rules, not because
it
> has bad ideas, not because its stories aren't witty or compelling. Its
simply because you can't outright deny that you matter right here and
right now. No one will fully embrace ANY ideology or path or set of
beliefs. People join Christianity for the same reasons they join
anything.
> Friends, family, fear, "love", happiness, admonishment of
responsibility.
> I mean all it takes is basic knowledge of the human condition to call
yourself a hypocrite in just about every situation you think you have an
opinion. Basically the reason i was sounding a little nihilistic in my
last correspondence...worked that out though ;).

What if there was a way that a person COULD deny that their lives here
don't have much meaning, that there's a more eternal goal in mind?(you could make them believe ANYTHING!!!!!!!) The
thing is, from your point of view there's no way this is possible, but
from mine, there is (O! you THINK people can make themselves not matter, but that thought doesn't matter? This is soooo fucking stupid) Unfortunately, I can't just pull it out of my pocket
and show you what I'm talking about, but it's also unwise to assume that
because you don't see anything, it's not there. (random idea, maybe bad stab at an argument? nothing to do with what I said)

>
> To me Jesus worked so well with what he taught because he did it as
himself. Whether he was empowered by God will never be confirmed, but on
the ground level he was just Jesus. He wasn't Paul's Jesus or Mark's Jesus
> or w/e else until they decided to interpret him. At that moment the very
essence and purity of whatever he tried to teach was irrevocably scarred
and changed. They weren't trying to be malicious or deceptive(maybe), but
> its just what happens when you attempt to understand anything that's not
You.

The reason you can see how Jesus lived His life is because of the gospels
written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John...(Wrong, all I can see is how they think he lived his life and what they chose to write as "true". I have their reactions and interpretations. I wasn't there to see his life and I can't make any claims about it" so if writing about it was how
you learned about Jesus but you don't trust that they wrote down
everything correctly then how can both of these be true? (Under the assumption that I learned anything from Jesus. I never said I learned anything I said he worked with what he had…….Dumbass) If what you're
saying is true, then the concept of Jesus could be way off compared to how
He actually was, right? (NO SHIT!)

There's another big point I wanted to hit in the previous email, about
saying that now more than ever the chances are great that they'll dig up
Jesus' body. But I'm gonna save that for the other email. For now I gotta
take off and go work but I'll definitely try and address the last email.(definitely made a HUGE metaphor, admitted metaphor, for the amount of information people have today to draw their opinions and nothing more) (he tries to blow it up later into something so stupid it has no merit by repeating here)

Take care,

[37] Break Me Off a Peace

So I'm reading the book "god is not Great" How religion poisons everything by Christopher Hitchens. I like this book. This is a book written by a learned man who has traveled all over the world and personally experienced the terrors that religion has had on it. This is an account of facts and history to explain humanity. He is a staunch atheist who only asks to be left alone in his belief and wonders why he can award such respect and they can't.

Religion is prejudice.

It breeds hatred and suffering. Perhaps as a result of (lacking) evolution. The more someone's beliefs come into question the louder they scream and the more damage they inflict. It's the "purest" form of aspects involving the human condition. Power corrupts when you afford yourself power. Peaceful and understanding people aren't peaceful and understanding because they stand on a higher pillar. I don't want to endure why its happening without knowing how to change something. Its just frustrating. Almost unbearable to watch and hear about so much death and destruction stemming from something so easily identifiable as power trips.

Way before I tried to attack someone's faith, before I tried to sympathize with their view, before read their teachings and considered their doctrines, before I tried to justify their actions I'd just want an honest answer about why they care so much about other people's beliefs. Why doesn't your faith in a perfect afterlife make you happy? In the parable with Jesus and Buddha is a great example of what Jesus is really offering. You get a sedative. Nothing more and most obvious for many much less. You can't speculate about worlds you haven't experienced. You almost can't even really think if you want to get into specifics about how your "conscious" mind really works. You sure as hell cannot be a judge.

Where is any peace…..a fleeting idea no longer valued as a powerful question.

It doesn't matter than fundamentally every religion needs to strive for it. Pick and choose what the words say to you and be like everyone else. Don't admit your wrong because that's weak. How can your God think of you as weak and allow you paradise? And who are all these heretics with their God thinking he's all high and mighty. I will smite him. I will kill, main, and die knowing I was the bigger and better man. As my one Christian friend likes to so popularly refer to me, ridiculous.

I think I know the problem. There is no shortage of thinkers and philosophers. Hundreds of books have been published. "Smart people" conferences are held and ideas are continually passed around. Who's our leader? Who is going to be radically passionate about peace just because? How does one become powerful in speech but still tread in the safe ground that doesn't emit personal bias against religion? Its admittedly a hard role to fill. Too soon would some "believer" try to blow him up or threaten his family. And then yet another glaring example of religious reaction to get noted, eye balled, and forgotten.

I want to be part of a movement. One that knows the divide and concur method. More maniacally referred to as "Satan's method."  A movement that seeks rationality and sanity from those who are not too badly poisoned. I feel like I owe it to life to "convert," in a sense, people into not calling different "evil." I'm not empowered by God to think that way. I would never want to kill or be violent, trying to force people to evolve. To call it a religion would be to pollute the cause.

I'd be wrong if I needed comments to keep writing. I only do it to understand myself more than anything. There's one feeling in the world I'd die for. It will never be a delusional euphoria from an adrenalin intoxication brought on in a heightened perception of my self righteousness and piety. If that seems a bit wordy its more commonly called love by the religious right.

[36] Microscope Effect

Do you know why I hate to argue? I'll tell you. When I argue I go after people's convictions by using facts about the known world and instances throughout world and personal history of basic human tendency and interaction. When people fight back they pull a maneuver called "pulling the God card." Whenever I ask a question that can't instantly be refuted by the bible God's name gets thrown into the rebuttal. They try to project my question onto their faith. Tempers may flare and random "what if's" get thrown into the equation and by the time we reach any sort of end, any intellectual stance that could've been taken has been obliterated. This again, only tells me you're not secure in your answer and therefore can't be secure in your faith. I keep saying it over and over.

I do not care in the slightest what you believe in. Your faith is justified by the same reasons mine is. I will never try to disprove your God or your beliefs as they are just as valid and significant as mine.

Unfortunately, people believe that having faith in their opinion allows that opinion more truth than it holds. Example. George Bush is the greatest thing to happen to the country. You can believe this with all the not-so-justified faith in the world. That doesn't mean it isn't a dumbass opinion.

The difference in beliefs is what you know about them. Give me a room of Christians and lets see how many of them think pagans were anything but sexual heathens, if they knew what a pagan was at all. Try to make someone believe the bible isn't infallible when it's the "inspired word of a God" that for whatever reason he allowed to get polluted by people who copied the text incorrectly and added things to back their ideals. Bring up the names Dionysus and Osyrus who laid claim to stories of a virgin birth, resurrection, miracles, and ascending to heaven long before the name Jesus was uttered. You are allowed the knowledge of evidence supported history to understand people just as quickly as you can assert something was divine. Is your version of God and a plan going to be justified denying the world of information?

Its important to know how our version of Christianity came to be. Its one thing to believe in the "original" inspired word of God. I can't argue against it, you can't factually argue any more for it. Unfortunately we do not have this original text. It is lost in the seas of time and may or may not be found. Since people love to pretend they know so many things about God I want to ask those people a question.

If the bible is the infallible inspired word of God and its meant to help guide people down the road to salvation why didn't God take any steps in the preservation of such important text?

A guess. He didn't inspire it. He didn't want to be associated with the Inquisition, Crusades, and Holocaust. He actually understands people cannot literally comprehend infinite love, infinite time, and infinite understanding and forgiveness by simply hearing and reading about them.

Again, INTERPRETATION: the mental representation of the meaning or significance of something. If that isn't simple enough then summed up….Your version of ANYTHING. For an interpretation to be right or wrong it can only be assumed. Taking historical evidence to back up the claim is smart, but it does not take away from the nature of interpretation. I find it coincidental that some passages of the bible, if not many, I can twist and "interpret" to fit in with my ideology without even having to think too hard about them. Anyone wonder why? Humans by nature will look at anything and automatically try to make it make sense to themselves. When your raised your entire life, being "taught" how to think and react, of course when you read something your going to "interpret it correctly" by the standards of the people who taught you how to look at it.

Here's the dangerous part. When you deny any doubt you feel about a passage you read. When you blame being thoughtful on the devil. I want to lay out a concept for you. Humans are not born inherently evil. Discuss.

Any "evil" is justified when the responsibility is projected onto something else. When people also don't recognize that it was actually them feeling actual love and performing actual good deeds they start to kill their self esteem and self worth. YOU. God's greatest creation doesn't want to think or believe your capable of good deeds without a greater motivation. Adam and Eve are a perfect example of this projected responsibility. They fuck up and now its your fault. When such a story comes from the "infallible learning device" no wonder its easy to believe your this evil incarnate that needs to be saved from the ever present and inevitable death. No one asks why God allowed a devil serpent into the garden in the first place.

Blanket statement: Everyone has gut feelings. Here's the thing. There is a difference, a discernible difference, in having gut instinctual feelings and being emotional.

I follow my gut instinct. I don't justify it by anything other than my actions. You can believe it is wrong or misguided and that will never allow me the liberty to change it. I can try to believe it is wrong or misguided and that will never allow me the liberty to change it. This is why I consider myself significant. This is why I think any expression of love is significant. I can't come to conclusions about myself until I get over my initial emotions about myself and what I'm presented with. When you get automatically defensive or angry whenever the subject of religion comes up, you may as well not speak.

 It is perhaps a safe assumption that your reaction with "the truth" is not your expression of actual truth.

Blanket statement: People are entertained by the wrong, different, new, and taboo.

Any "good" person who laughs at someone getting hurt after falling down is the basic example of the claim. Of course, not everyone will agree with your position to laugh. Difference of opinion though does not discount the significance of the other peoples' perceptions. Let's take it a step further. People who get controlled by such character traits. With my view, people aren't inherently evil. No baby is born looking to kill someone or itself. Religion, particularly Christianity, provides a scapegoat. And it works both ways for people who want to think themselves selfish or self righteous. You can kill or be martyred in the name of God, and when someone is killed the killer was corrupted by the devil or it was God's plan. When you feel responsible for your hatred and actions you essentially guilt trip yourself into reform. The case doesn't always have to be that extreme. Staying in a bad "Christian" relationship for example…..ya never mind not even gonna start……..Side note. Mental disorders, which today is too broad a category to associate blame, are the exception to such an idea.

Another unfortunate: I think when you allow yourself to become exhausted by thinking about and hoping for that which you can't understand, perceive, and ultimately embrace it becomes a catalyst for sending you into a place of self destruction. Because once the promising potential is polluted, who can blame you?

Broken record effect: Taking it down and bringing it real personal. My gut feeling will always tell me more than what I put in these blogs. My gut feeling tells me that finding and making real connections with real people is the utmost important. My gut feeling cannot deny love and logic and the belief that they can coincide to be the most pure and telling of the nature from the God within. Acknowledging the immanent moment. If you can't use the God given brain to find real truth behind the reasons you say and think the things you do, to me, you lose, or at least hamper, your ability to perceive what "God" is telling you.