[4] Head Into Another Start One Direction

DISCLAIMER: Back when I started writing, I had no qualms about rambling, shit punctuation, no paragraphs, and text speak versions of words. I didn't spell check. It's not until about the 20s of the blogs where I pretend I have a grasp of the English language.


Current mood: i have a headache

i want to get bored with life. I want my friends to not joke about killing themselves because they really feel worse than they put on. I want to experience everything and not view it as nothing. I want that one girl to leave that one dick. I want someone to make someone happier than i could ever make myself. I want to believe i'm wise beyond my years. I want to help people with their problems and understand why. I want to stop starting every sentence with I want. i'll take want over need ne day cus need will fuck u up if u don't get it. at least u'll learn sumthing by not getting what u want. and isn't that what's important? to learn shit to help ur decision process for the future. i find that a lot of people are scared to learn. not abc's and 123's kind of bullshit but life in general. the hard lessons that will ultimately make them stronger but generally scare them away. let's take one of my favorite subjects relationships for example. i know too many people in just crappy relationships that are so confused about what they want from the relationship they just leave things be and continue to be unhappy. now i'm all for people making their own decisions and living their lives how they want but i can't sit idley by and believe u want to be fighting or unsure about ur relationship. i don't know if it's just highschool or the world in general but when i see so many of my friends practically locking themselves to sumone who dosn't make them happy it pisses me off. what's the point of playing with sumone's emotions if u arn't going to put the effort into it? is getting pussy worth making sumone vulnerable. people have killed themselves over less mental turmoil yet there are so many that will manipulate these girls to sickening ends. i've said it before but it should never get old....find sumone who will immortalize u in their eyes....not in that creepy i will follow u around on a chain and watch u sleep at night kinda way but in a way that u actually feel their love and not just hear it. So many random "i love u's" in the halls from kids who've been dating for only a few weeks. i mean is love so unexperienced and misunderstood that it can be thrown about as though it were a ragdoll? how depressing is that, the one thing that people should strive for and cherish is the one thing most oftenly used to exploit and manipulate with. if u hav to completly change ur identity for love then its not love. i know happy outgoing people who turn into ms. obedient and reserved so as not to anger their "loved" one when he's around. how do u justify that sort of relationship where one says jump and the other says how high? [overload of sarcasm point coming up] u've been with sumone for three years, u've gone through sooooo much together, he's aquarius and ur piscies, u lost ur virginity to him, he's tall dark and handsom, he blah blah blahed ur blah blah blah. NONE of that shit should keep u tied down if u don't truly love someone. yeah, relationships have problems most easy enough to work out. first and foremost if u think u love sumone then by all means try to work it out and prove to each other that ur worth each other. it's important to realize though that after u've tried to work it out, after u've told the one u "love" ur problem and put the effort into it that u see how they react to that information. u cry and express ur feelings to him and he says sum b/s and tries to denouce ur feelinggs or pretend like they don't exsist than i don't care what u may think but u have to run as far as u can as quick as posible. u hav so little time to find the one ur truly ment for. don't be afraid to break off sumthing that isn't healthy and meaningful. don't trick urself into believing what u hav is good and all the while looking at someone else and wishing u had what they had. u can only become stronger now armed with the knowledge of what not to have in ur relationship. FUCK COMFORT ZONES. prolly the one of the most dangerous things on the planet concerning the judgement about ur feelings. he treats u like shit and now u've just learned to deal. fuck that with ten thousand dicks. u should be happy with hurdles u overcome together. not pushed under water let up to breath only long enough to keep u alive and give u enough hope things will get better.

maybe there are those out there that think i've some motive to say the things i do, that i'm not in a long relationship or their situation is different than neone elses but i always say the same thing. u love them so much to suffer for them, why don't they do it for u? they say they love u and they they'll be with u forever. they never show it or make u feel it. neone can hold u in their arms, kiss u, make u smile or laugh every once in a while. a select few can make u actually feel loved and safe and important enough that there is no question about the love or devotion to that person.

[3] Please Don't Read!!! Not Reverse Psychology

DISCLAIMER: Back when I started writing, I had no qualms about rambling, shit punctuation, no paragraphs, and text speak versions of words. I didn't spell check. It's not until about the 20s of the blogs where I pretend I have a grasp of the English language.


so yeah this was a response to a post this guy put up on the m'ville myspace page and i figured it would get more attention over here so fucking read it now or god will kill u.......and that previous fake outburst with the whole god will kill u thing won't make ne sense or lose it's merit until u read so yeah just do it....

ok so i'm not trying to hate on religion or nething but i just have to respond to this. do i believe in a higher power, yes. do i believe there has to be something after this so called life on earth, yes. would i have a problem with accepting someone who will let me into "heaven, " no. the only thing i don't get is why does god give us such annilitical minds to come to the conclusions that we may want to be an atheist or agnostic. why does a god who gives man such power to do such terrible things and think in their own way if he wanted everyone to automatically accept a common belief. does the arab in iraq go straight to hell because he dosn't except jesus as his savior? does the little kid that was told his entire life by his family and friends that god dosn't exist go to hell because he dosn't accept christ? do god and jesus want you to go out and convert everyone and tell them their religion is wrong and u r right? is it possible to believe that entitiy of such power would be a little less about having everyone join the crowd and mabye more about them having faith in general? While there is no problem in believing what u believe in or trusting god, the question is do u trust man? were u there when the people writing jesus's words down exactly how he said them and conveyed them exactly how he wanted them to? why if there is one way for people to follow that will get them into heaven are there so many versions of the bible. why when u look at the entire spectrum of life would one bad human who lived a sinful life earth be entitled to eteranl damnation. and on the other hand why would someone who led the good life and accept christ be endowed to and eternity of prosperity. it dosn't seem to add up. if u look at the whole universe it's all based on a balance. why not look at that and model it for something more. a balance between good and evil. i'd personally like to believe that god sends us through cycles kinda like the buddhist with the reincarnation. god loves us so why not send us back to keep the balance of good and evil in a different life after a stay in hell or heaven or even a stay anywhere at all. whether u think logically or spiritually it's undeniable that an unfathomable amount of coincidences didn't just randomly form the universe and everything in it. with that thought though u can't just assume that humans are the important ones that get to go to heaven after accepting christ. there has to be more to the whole exsistance thing but noone can say they are right and someone else is wrong. there are people just like u in iraq and china and where ever else that will tell u the same thing about their god and their saviors or prophets. i'm not saying religions are wrong but they are relative and noones one way to believe in something is going to save mankind over the next persons.

[2] I Hate!...Eh, One More Thing

DISCLAIMER: Back when I started writing, I had no qualms about rambling, shit punctuation, no paragraphs, and text speak versions of words. I didn't spell check. It's not until about the 20s of the blogs where I pretend I have a grasp of the English language.

Current mood: blank

so i just got done talking to my friend brandon about what people do with their lives and why they do them and i figured i'd finish up my lil rant session here so..........

i left off at saying fuck carpe diem and saying seize the minute if not the very second. it's bullshit to go through life 9-5 saying u'd like to live ur life to the fullest but reality kicked in. Reality is what u make of it. if u wanna be that millionair who gets to sit on his ass and drink martini's or w/e all day then u make ur reality. i'd like to believe man's true inherent nature is to live. not live under someone giving u orders ur whole life or live wondering if they'll keep their home next month. People get themselves into these ruts because they get sucked into the public acceptance that the only thing certain is death and taxes. they never go out and make a change or try to change something. either that or they do go out fail once and then they say they gave it the good ol college try or some b/s. i mean parents will nag kids for weeks about cleaning their room but never choose to do nething but just that. does that parent give two shits about the cleanliness of the that room? in all actuallity what the hell does it matter if the room is clean. why not make sure ur kids not a fucking psycho making dolls from the hair he collects off his crush or some shit not if his room is clean. that parents is more concerned over bills or what their spouse or boss or friends are gonna think of them if they do this or that. that in itself is also a choice. people in general care so much about what everyone else thinks, and for what? so they can die yrs later and say they were popular. i mean it all boils down to death. ur all fucked to be blunt. who r u trying to impress with decisions to be someone else. why put urself through hell because ur afraid ur "friend" isn't going to accept u. why do u need someone to give u that constant reasurrance that ur hair is fine or ur ass is small. fuck that. if u want ur hair to be fine make it fine in ur eyes, if u want ur ass small go out and work it off, or not it dosnt' fucking matter it's ur choice. it dosn't even matter if u want to be that fake person either but all it dose is take away from u living ur life. how can neone choose to do that? i tell people all the time i'm going to make money and have my lil mansion and do as i like for the rest of my life. they all tell me it's b/s, life will kick in, shit happens, blah fucking blah. no shit life gets in the way. so what i'll change it. ur future is a product of what u put into it. u wanna be happy? u make urself happy. u wanna have money? go out and get it. u want a million friends? do what u need to do to get those friends. ur choice. i choose to tell everyone their full of shit because they try to put my hopes for the future down and by doing that i'm living. i'm being true to myself. u call people crazy who may dance in the mall to some music from a store but why? because it makes u feel better to see someone do something u'd prolly do if someone wasn't looking? like neone's gonna remember that shit newayz ten minutes from then. specially when UR ALL GONNA FUCKING DIE later. it dosn't matter. even me trying to be rich and lazy. that dosn't matter. all that matters is the choices we make and whether they determine if we're actually living or not. i choose not to live in the past and have regrets and it only helps me achieve my goals for the future. so yeah i think i'm done and talked circles around myself and hav gotten all cross eyed so if u chose to read this than cool w/e if not then cool w/e peace homebodies and no i don't care if i sound like a complainy bitch or super cool philosipher sooooo yeah i'm done, later

[1] If You're A Girl You Better Fucking Read This

Sorry about the title, I'm just trying to draw attention to this post. lol...

Okay, so this is like a call-out for the inner workings of the womanly mind. Over and over, I talk to my friends who have been in relationships that do nothing but fuck them square in the ass, and despite my warnings and suggestions, they still fawn over the assholes that fucked them over. If your boyfriend makes you cry, orders you to do things, or makes your friends and family uncomfortable... leave his ass now. It's plain and simple. I know he acts differently in private. I know he has deep feelings that you don't want to hurt. I know u might be in a comfort zone with the relationship and you don't know how things would be afterward. I know those are all bullshit reasons to stay with someone.

Why sacrifice what you could have in a relationship for someone who pretends to give two shits about you and whispers those sweet little, and actual nothings, in your ear? Every girl I've ever asked this doesn't know why and just says, "Because that's just how girls are." That's total crap. I'm sorry, but it is. Everything has a reason be it genes or upbringing or whatever, and I need someone to establish how badly those things affect a girl to keep her in a bad relationship. Moreover, her still feel things for the guy who now doesn't talk to her, doesn't look at her, and basically erased her from his memory.

This is a major thing I want every single girl to realize now, 90% of guys are in it for the pussy, if I'm to be blunt. They will feed you mounds upon mounds of crap to see how far they can get you to go. I don't care if they are charming, sweet, borderline gay a.k.a. metro, it's instinct, it's low and sad but it's true. I'm sick of girls getting hurt in these relationships crying for days over someone that never gave a damn in the first place. Within three months I've personally had five people tell me how they are crying or worrying about the ones who've caused horrible riffs in their lives. And three of these are after I told them exactly what would happen before they even went out! Who honestly looks for trouble like that?

Now remember, this is only about 90% of guys. I'm not bashing your current boyfriend or anything, but you girls truly need to look at your relationships. If u don't feel like a queen, if he doesn't try to make you feel special everyday, and if there's a pool of drama spotted with "good times" here and there, get out now. There's billions of guys and the odds are in your favor of finding one that will treat you as you should. So please, send me some insight behind the girl psyche so I can either stop complaining and blame it on those damn genetics, or get angry at the parents and family that brought their little girl up to be walked on. So, please leave a comment or something to help explain.