[49] Who The Hell Knows Where This Was Going

Place: Ted.com

Discussion: The End of The World
You should be: Concerned

I recently learned, thanks to heretical science, that about 20% of people are clinically depressed. This was a just a fun fact on a discussion about the end of the world and the different things that threaten to end human existence. The universe is a scary place. No one is really thinking about being hit by an asteroid, or a solar flare burning our atmosphere, but as Philip K. Dick so elegantly put it "Reality is that which, even when you stop believing still exists." According to Stephen Petranek here there are a multitude of ways we are not-so-slowly killing ourselves.

I was hung up on the depression fact though. Its my "mystic" or "spiritual" belief that one way or another we are all connected be it because we're from the earth or because the entire universe is the same particles we are. When I was reading stuff from Deepak Chopra he talked a lot about the unconscious energy field, or that space in your mind that "knows" things w/o you truly thinking about them. Well this mental epidemic made me think about animals and how they "know" when shits about to hit the fan before natural disasters. Ya, I'm bout to get all head trippy, just ride it out. At the same time of me having such disdain for humanity as a whole I still can't forsake the urge compelling me to give people the benefit of the doubt. While intelligence appears to be fleeting from conscious people I like to believe that the back of the mind part can't be tampered with. If I'm right then I would supposed that people are becoming more and more depressed because the "collective unconscious intelligence" is really letting the facts of our plight filled universal situation sink in. Picture it as a massive brain where dreams come from and when you can get into a lucid state the entire world is literally at your grasp.

I've talked a lot about fear and laziness in the past, thank you Waking Life. I think the issue gets more complicated that just being afraid. People don't even know what it there is to be afraid of anymore. Even more likely they've realized there are too many things to be afraid of. Evolution has taught them to be afraid, they survived from dodging bullets and suppressing the urges to investigate, at least the ones who've made it thus far. Now when people care more about drunk drivers or getting mugged who the hell honestly believes there is a better chance of dying from an asteroid than in a tornado? I think I've found good reasons why people are lazy when they aren't justifying it because they are afraid. Personally I feel like sitting and thinking or sleeping does more for my mental state than 90% of the bullshit I try to force into my head in class. I think being relaxed and contemplative can lead to amazing insight and clarity even if it need be only for yourself. I think there is a ping-pong effect in our brains. It bounces back and forth between new and exciting to dull and old to scary and threatening to imaginative and wonderful and no one feels like they have any control over the paddles.

I try to face my death everyday. At least once before I fall asleep I'll think about what if some random ass thing happens and takes me out. Someone may be saying "but nick, you say there aren't any "what-ifs" no future or past just now" and yes this is true but this what if dosen't paralyze me with fear like the ones I hear from my friends. It's one of the only ways I can really direct my thoughts and my actions into the best ways of making me happy. Whenever I buy some expensive thing or act "crazy" its because there may never be a moment to show you who I really am again after one car accident, asteroid, or disappearing rain forest. You think that just because you believe something different than me is making me insecure and defensive? In reality I am just frustrated how people can go so frivolously about their lives w/o ever for a second thinking "am i happy? what makes me happy? is this the truth?" I don't like science because it's like anti-god or offers all the best solutions. I like it because its humanitarian, it focuses on things that enrich life, it tries to protect you from yourselves despite scorn and ridicule from misunderstanding. Ladies and gentlemen we are dead and dying, live it up.

Every time I think about getting a nice house or cool thing to play with there's always the people I care about right along with me in the mental picture playground. Half the crap I do with my life is because I'm thinking that somewhere down the line I might be able to add to a fun time around a fire playing my guitar, or I might be able to throw a kickass movie party around a pimp ass tv. I want to make people I like happy, and I like people I know will be able to appreciate the underlying fabric of the moment. You can't teach or preach "the imminent moment." Its something you have to learn and embrace and practice. It's the one thing that can be totally you no matter what faces you've tried on throughout your life. Everyone is telling you, let me repeat, everyone is telling you the rights and wrongs of life.

When do you get your say?

[25] Fear, Unequivacle Knowledge, Coincidence And Understanding

Are all what I failed miserably at explaining how I originally wanted when I started this....o well you can still read it anyway I guess.

So I think I finally came about the best word to describe a "religion" that would fit me. Gnostic. Basically just one who believes in knowledge and gaining understanding. Not being about judging the experiences as right or wrong, just working with the information at hand "in the now" as 60's cliché as that may sound. I can't tell you how true seek and you shall find can influence your life. Literally within the past 24 hours I've heard all this information about unpublished books of the bible, theories about quantum physics, and ways to manifest desires. What truly makes this stuff so interesting to me is that at the extreme ends of science and the basic principles of religion all push towards the same ideas. I suggest reading anything by Deepak Chopra and watching the religion specials on the History channel. People need to find how to get into the unconscious gap where your actions aren't expressions of fear. If your afraid of your thoughts and hide behind preconceptions instead of trying to understand yourself, then your missing out on what you have to offer yourself and the world. I was listening to a tape on the nature of coincidence. Things so mathematically impossible that to consider them insignificant is simply tragic. Some intelligent design seemingly orchestrating your personal interactions and direction you go in life. Think about the millionaires who always knew they were going to be millionaires and never had an ounce of doubt they couldn't make it. Or adventurers who travel all over the world, most dangerous places imaginable and know they aren't going to get hurt or will find something amazing. I mean déjà vu, seeing your future, speaking in sink with your best friend…All are blips of evidence that something is all knowing and conscious propelling are perception of reality. I really feel like a retard trying to recite back in Spanish what I heard from a Hindi scholar, but I still want whoever cares to read get a perception of me and hopefully understand why I do, say, and think the things I do. One I think I easily enough remember Chopra said is that he knows and lives his purpose in life. And when he said he was hear to inform and spread joy and happiness to those around him I kinda felt as though I related to him. I want people to know things and understand their lives. I'd love to love when the opportunities present themselves, if in fact the opportunities ever go away in the first place. Or be able to stop the automatic judge button that gets pressed when you meet someone. I don't think being caring or nice to people when you consider yourself an asshole to be necessarily acting fake as much as a lack of understanding about yourself. If you allow yourself to get stressed about your "faith" or problems past and future you can't control your ignoring yourself now. I'm getting distracted and losing where I was originally going with this so if you actually care that much I'll suggest books and tapes and indulge in deep stimulating conversations that are fun for the whole family….

Random thought: All the pictures of saints and apostles and religious folks out that and none of them are wearing crosses around their necks?

[23] Shortest, Most Amazing Side Note You'll Ever Want To Read

[edit: Talk about time changing your perspective...yeesh...]

Ok so I'm actually in the middle of reading a book but I had to stop and write a little something because once again I'm blown away. Life After Death the burden of truth by Deepak Chopra should be read by everyone everywhere. I don't care how blanketed or ignorant that statement may sound. If you've ever read my blogs you see me ranting about so many things that all seem to branch off into some random question that seems to either make absolutely no sense or maybe seem vaguely familiar. Well I've literally said things in past blogs that I've read in this book practically word for word. Thoughts that I thought were so crazy and so unanswerable are being answered, or at least addressed, because I'm not alone. If you've ever had a question about the meaning of life, what happens when you die, how you can fulfill your "purpose," or why you may doubts aspects of your religion then I urge you to read the hell out of this book. Read passages over and over and meditate on them. I swear its like the second I'm about to crash and think there is no hope, bam, something like this hits me and again I'm allowed the opportunity to take something and grow. I'm not saying this is a cure all to any and everything you may think of and its not meant to be. It does however provide for the open mind. It doesn't condemn or demean any religion but instead parallels and questions. Buy the book without a second thought, I'm reading it from the library and I'm still buying it when I'm done. By now you get it, I believe this is an amazing book and I'm gonna go back to reading.