How do I propose to fix things? To me,
this kind of comes across as asking the Ethiopian kid why he doesn’t
just start a farm if he’s so hungry, or maybe the Canadian to read
a book if they feel so stupid. It seems to miss the real issues.
You’re still Canadian.
So Nick, you like to bitch. Always on
facebook with your views and rants and yada yada. Do something about
it bitch! Sure, I can agree with you from time to time, even give you
a little shit just to see how well you can defend, but I clearly have
much less invested in whatever the topic at hand is than you do. Why
aren’t you spending every waking minute fighting this monstrous
pile of problems you have with the world? Remember you’re an
American! Your will and your will alone is going to save you.
This just in, we hardly ever create our
circumstances. A whole ton of shit happened before I popped onto the
scene in 1988, and I venture to guess people back then had about as
much a clue as we do now. Why didn’t the 1988 bitchers just do
something!? It seems so easy. What do you even want to do in the
first place?
I want to change thoughts.
No, not just change them for the sake
of changing them. I could whip my dick out and piss down your leg and
I’m positive it will distract you from the Vivaldi symphony you
were humming inside. I can’t really think of what that helps
besides my smile at the thought. Let me illustrate via example of how
I want thoughts to be conducted via mock conversations.
“Hey dude, this invisible man told me
something about who you should have sex with.”
“Really? Was he cloaked with that new
invisible technology I heard about on the military channel?”
“Ya, what else could it be, magic?”
“Hey dudette, did you know John
McCain owns 6 houses?”
“Really? Does he have a lot of kids
or family, because 1 doesn’t go into 6 without some crazy quantum
stuff going on.”
“No, luckily when our government
found out they told him the same thing. The waste, greed, and
self-entitlement don’t outweigh the social cost and messages we
send to our society about well-being”
“Hi, this is Article 10 section b. of
the treaty you signed not to conduct war for insufficient reason.”
“I see your document and counter that
I don’t care.”
“Go directly to jail.”
“You mean that this is the only
planet we know humans to be currently living on and need water and an
atmosphere?”
“I don’t find these compelling
enough reason to all but cease and desist pursuing resources that can
make it explode.”
“That’s why you’re seated next to
that crazy politician while regulatory commissions and scientists
break up and repurpose your equipment.”
We allow ourselves to be sold on this
bullshit, become complacent with the results, and lose all will even
to meagerly bitch on facebook about it.
When. You. Become. Specific. Objective.
Reality. Exists.
Is cutting bad? It’s the wrong
question. Should a girl with low self-esteem and the excuse, “this
is the only way to make me feel” cut. Probably not. Should the
masochist cut in an expression of sexual release? Could be dangerous,
but certainly a different circumstance. It becomes a question about
personal responsibility and societal impact over “moral truth.”
We need to allow questions to become as
complicated as what they are trying to hide. This is what happens to
my brain when I hear certain questions. For example, is sex before
marriage bad? Ridiculously involved question! Unprotected sex? Sex
with who? What state of mind would you venture a guess they were in?
What pros or cons does marriage bring to sex? Bad for her or him or
him or all three? Bad as in disease, emotions, location? Oral? Why
are we supposing marriage and sex have anything to do with each other
in the first place? It turns into an endless ball of philosophical
speculation about the subjective experiences with sex and beliefs
about marriage.
Is it not more coherent to tell someone
the story and purpose of marriage given different time periods and
across various belief systems and let them decide if they agree or
disagree with a particular method? Is it not more responsible to
teach people all the pros and cons of having the various kinds of sex
and allowing them to figure out what’s best for their health and
well-being? Is it not reasonable to assume that regardless of who’s
fucking who under what conditions, if you find or pick people who are
proven to be safe and mature, it’s really none of your fucking
business or concern what’s going on elsewhere?
The financial crisis surely had
thousands of people with little to large hands at play. Blame them
all. More importantly, get them all to blame themselves. Is it not
the whistleblower that can expel a wave of shit that indicts a mass
of people? What if you can convince that mass of people to account
for their own fuck ups, and then figure a way to fix them instead?
What if a hundred accountable people worked at Lehman Brothers? Maybe
only a few would need to be punished. Maybe it wouldn’t have gone
bankrupt. Maybe bonuses and salaries would better reflect achievement
and contributions instead of cronyism. And whatever could be said
about the ones that went under, it goes double for Goldman Sachs.
You make excuses when you don’t
accept objective reality. I would equate the same fallacy and
damaging habit of keeping an abusive boyfriend with how we conduct
ourselves in government or religious institutions. Of course, why be
so eager to flock to such structures unless you’re predisposed
against personal responsibility in the first place? I shouldn’t
have to convince my friends that they’re boyfriend beats them or is
scarily controlling any more than I should have to convince someone
that if they don’t like the two party system, stop voting into it.
Is the fear of being ostracized or judged really greater than whether
or not you’ll have a job next week? Is the objective case for
something better a change so uncertain and dangerous you’re willing
to perpetuate your circumstances? Well, obviously at this point.
This is why I’m at my core opposed to
magic thinking. I don’t see what it does but allow you to be
selfish in a destructive manner. It persuades you that you have more
control than you do. It allows you to literally outright deny
evidence in front of your face. It distracts you from the very
obvious things you could be doing to get a more humble and honest
kind of satisfaction. And this assumes I would dignify what you get
from many of those beliefs as satisfaction. So what am I doing about
it?
I’m at least bitching enough to try
and garner the questions and conversations in a direction that will
bring the specific problems to light and hopefully answers to address
them. I’m at least trying ever so fucking hard to be an example of
feeling utterly alone in my head while still espousing ideas and
ideals that I’ve yet to have a single fucking person tell me I’m
so ridiculously destructive or outlandish to hold. I’m asking if it
can be done with a “bitchy” solo blog, what can be done with two,
or three, a campus or country?
It’s easy to be another protester,
whistle blower, hot head, egomaniac, “intellectual,” and servant.
History has told our story hundreds of thousands of times and we
refuse to change this instant. We are not prepared to be accountable
today. Even allowing for how little control I actually have in a
parent system, I still manage to maintain too high a sense of
responsibility for shit people couldn’t imagine.
I should’ve seen Javon was a
psychopath and worked harder to find a better roommate. When her shit
gets stolen or spilled on, all that matters is that it was my party.
Never mind the months she had to buy a lockable doorknob that was
left up to me too. I invited Chris to live there as well despite the
anger I saw in him. Whether I bought the alcohol or not I’m still
responsible for the drunken rabble in my house. If Rin’s pole gets
broken, I have to pay for it. If Hatsam puts in ten applications, I
have to find the eleventh that gets him hired. If the world goes to
shit, I have to devise some master strategy or feel guilty and
responsible for not fixing it all instead of merely bitching on
facebook.
If I’m going to continue feeling this
way, I’m at least going to keep bitching until I’m ignored or
collaborated with. I’m much happier taking responsibility than
pretending I don’t want any. Most people I encounter are happy to
give it to me. I don’t know if this is extremely endearing and a
sign of my potential or me just the proud scapegoat for people’s
emotional instability. Forgive me for leaning towards the latter.
