Sunday, June 21, 2009 at 5:47pm
Yesterday
we moved my brother into Teter. To preface, I say "my brother"
and "my mom" because I've yet to invent terms that would
serve a more descriptive and honest purpose. My brother allegedly
wants to become a doctor. This is a child who's managed to kill a
tortoise from neglect, leave his comforter on a space heater....for
months, and take a hammer to his laptop. He's part of the groups
program. Given that I like to play games with myself, I volunteer to
pretend to be a parent and hang out with my dad, mom, and her husband
as IU gives their "we really give a damn about your kids"
presentations and programs. I twittered that I'd have to blog about
this experience, so here it is.
The morning start out normal
enough. I've stayed up all night so by the time we got there my eyes
were killing me and I was in the mood to just kinda say anything . My
mom shows up to Teter and I guess was taken aback that I had long
hair and hadn't shaved. Right from bad movie she sits next to me. A
few random questions and platitudes out of the way she says "I
missed you" to which I replay "ok" read (you somehow
think I give a fuck?). They usher us into the next room and I'm
standing against a wall talking to my dad. My mom walks up and tells
my dad to get Josh's (my brother) registration so he can get a
parking pass, for groups, seven weeks, when he will have no time and
no reason to go anywhere. So my dad takes off. Looking like an
embarrassed and confused child my mom finally turns to me and
proceeds to tell me how closely I need to watch my school money
because before I know it it will be gone.
Let's take an aside
for you to understand the full bunt of
how...ridiculous?....retarded?...."highly connotative word for
'what the fuck' ".... this statement really is. When I started
school there was 70K for all four years. It would have covered
everything with change to spare when I graduated. Being the brilliant
accountant my mom is, she put the money into an account that could
fluctuate. Yes, I have school payed off, and the choice is somehow
made to turn the college fund into an investment opportunity. Well,
freshman year I live in the dorms in a learning community which isn't
exactly cheap. She not only gives me shit when I signed on to this
shit apartment that saved a few grand, but also when I tried to buy
food off campus. I found out a number of months ago that the account
had been losing money along with everything else tied too close to
our economy. Instead of telling anybody when it first started
happening, it just kept going down. 10-15 thousand later she decides
to ask....fucking ASK my dad if she should move the money into a more
stable account. His response was that of any rational person....duh
you stupid, stupid bitch. She decided to email me with my dad's
advice on the subject so that I could confirm or deny that she should
move the money. This probably done to include me in her game where I
feel like I have any control over how the money gets spent.
Back
to yesterday. I make a point of stating that I haven't spent 70K nor
half of 70K since I've been here, and that if there is anything less
in the account, it isn't my fault. No sense of "oh, I see what
you did there, or "you got me" just a blank stare.
So
the day goes on. We have to cart my brothers shit up to the fourth
floor of Teter. He's got himself, my dad, mom, her husband, and some
of his roommate's family helping. He also manages to pack all of his
shit like this, by not packing. Clothes sitting in piles in the back
of his car, all well within the range of a single garbage bag are
stacked up along with other random shit. We get done and one of the
first comment on my mom's fat disgusting face is "Whoa that was
a lot and pretty hard work." Let's compare. I have ten times as
much shit as my brother. My dad and I unloaded by ourselves in a few
hours, three different times. The bag of clothes she carried up the
stairs I'm sure made for quite the arduous trek.
Not to long
after this my mom makes sure to say "hey, why don't you go down
and get your parking registered before you forget." And now it's
time for more context. Just two hours earlier she described my
brother as "viewing money as no object." Also, as many of
you know, Teter is at most a 15 minute walk to my place where it
would make the most sense for the car to reside. Not only is mine
fucked up, but I'm the one who needs to go to meetings, go food
shopping, etc. not him. My dad apparently telling him that I would
need it doesn't matter when he can throw a minor tantrum and get his
40 dollar seven week pass anyway. And how about this, in light of her
money as no object comment, she bought him another computer and 32"
tv, one or both of which she presented as gifts from her, bought with
his SCHOOL money. The same money I'm squandering and need to keep
tabs on...with no access to the account.
So at the end of day
I've managed to get passively scolded and remanded to keep track of
money that's been skull fucked while under her control. I'm looked at
with pissed off condemnation, and basically ignored for wanting to
use a car for credible purposes with it still always available to my
brother in a parking lot that doesn't cost money. That's part of the
thank you for unloading his shit I assume.
Today: I get a
phone call from my dad asking me a favor. My mom had called my dad
this morning to ask if he had heard from Josh because when she tried
to call him all she got was his voice mail, and therefore, it's
reason to freak the fuck out. My dad had I guess talked to Josh later
that day and per my mom's incessant badgering managed to make Puss,
oohh I like that, Josh is renamed Puss. So, she manages to make Puss
homesick with classic questions like "are you sure you can
handle this, groups is pretty intense" and "won't you miss
your friends?" So what was the favor my dad asks? Can I try to
call him or talk with him and assure him that it's okay, he'll make
friends, and that he can survive a few weeks here in Bloomington.
Apparently his roommate who he's been friends with all through high
school has managed to find other people to hang with so his only
contact has "somehow" found other, and dare I say cooler,
friends.
A final moment of Zen wrap-up if you will: After
"reading the directions over and over again" deciding it
"just doesn't work" my brother tells my mom he's going to
throw away his new Ipod alarm clock and "worst case scenario
he'll just have to buy another one."
You like this.
i am in shock after reading about the
displays of douchebaggery and utter retardation you wrote about
above.
well... to be honest, what do you expect from your mother?
certainly nothing rational or logical...
Let me get this straight-your mom had
70k saved, just for your college, and all you can show for gratitude
is a bunch of behind the back insults?
I can't say I'm
surprised if you aren't her favorite.
I'd think you'd give me more credit.
No, in fact, my dad got a settlement that luckily accounts for the
money in that account. My mom had nothing to do with it. On top of
that, she never misses an opportunity to try and claim that she had
to fight my dad in court for it to be in the account and somehow her
"struggle" is the only reason it's in there. So, she
slanders my dad who almost died for the money, she squanders it out
of stupidity, and you get to accuse me of being ungrateful.
smh...
Honestly, does Puss stand a
chance!?
Please tell me he atleast knows where [and how to
get back from] the Union... I see you writing another note about
this kid calling you mid-lecture on the first day of classing asking
`How the fuck do I get back to campus?´ or some odd, far off
equivilent.
... Read More
PS. These ARE serious question,
folks! If you meet this kid...
Corbin's mother bought him that iPod
alarm clock and I put the thing together without even looking at the
directions. Also, I have a Twitter, never typed a single "tweet,"
subsequently forgot my username/password, and the website wouldn't
send me both, so I gave up, and I've still managed to get two
followers, who I can't find out who they are because I can't log on.
:/ Just thought I'd comment about the least significant parts of
this note. ;)
I've never met your mom but I think it
would've be funny to be there when she saw you, the expression on
her face. More than funny, hilarious actually. Then she goes on to
tell you she missed you?
