Wednesday, November 26, 2014

[409] Jive Turkey Talk

I keep thinking about the inadequacy of language. It speaks to why I'm stuck writing even as I figure things out. I've attempted to talk about myself and “feelings” or lack thereof. I can go on about politics or “isms.” I've tried to nail down relationships or how people feel towards “spirituality.” It just all feels exceedingly inaccurate. Or if not inaccurate, very incomplete.

I read an interesting thought process on language. Pre-language, if you were in danger, it might be a grunt from your fellow homo-whatever. That's all you needed. “Run you stupid cunt a tiger is about to munch on your ass” was leagues away. I think there's a kind of pull to relate to things that way. The most complicated issues we want to sum-up and say things like “Wall Street is evil,” “I love you,” or “not my problem.”

I can empathize with this, but I can't respect it. We're not baseline animals. We've taken up the charge, explicitly or implicitly, of being a collective that learns and passes on more than genes. If you need to just stay alive, you can find people who will grunt at you. If you're going to push your mind and maybe exist for something beyond yourself, you need to ceaselessly explore where it's taking you.

But talking is hard. I learn practically every day that there's like a force field in some peoples' heads about what you can talk about and when. You can make an analogy and someone can take two words from it and write paragraphs in response to their misunderstanding. You can start hurling accusations about the intent and capacity of the person you're talking to. You can defer to what you genuinely believe are sources of authority and smugly laugh at the other side's inability to accept your “facts.”

I think this is a kind of hidden back door to “consciousness raising.” Now everyone gets an opinion. And you can rest assured almost none of them are going to attempt taking in all of the information to make it a worthwhile one. The world, even if only through reddit, can ridicule America and it's treatment of poor black kids, dick headed ones or otherwise, and our backwards ideas about guns. None of whatever that ensuing meme picture conversation or judgment is going to save the next one or be what convinces police they don't have to shoot at any black person that moves.

“The masses” is an idea I'm increasingly convinced hurts discourse dramatically. The masses always exist as an opinion I only hear through a computer screen. It's just beyond my circle of friends. It's hidden behind “likes” and “upvotes” as if I know the person saying something stupid was being sarcastic or trolling or that the people upvoting aren't dyslexic or armchair anarchists. By invoking the masses you wield this connotative sword  that apparently trumps all inquiry into different dynamics of power. Do you blame rioters, or the step-dad? The North, or Lincoln? People who drive cars, or the people who subsidize oil? Ignorant poor homeowners, or the 11 people at midnight who fix rates and secure bonuses?

And blaming them all sure sounds righteous, but I as a “the masses” can't stop driving tomorrow, I'm not having his opinion nationally broadcast, don't sign checks, and likely couldn't fix my bow tie on a stock market floor.

This is why I'm such a fan of doing. When I didn't want to work a regular job, I opened my own. I can hear every opinion in the world about how I did it or what I accomplished, and the wind of their words didn't move the kiosk an inch or will drive the van around town. Real leaders and influencers are doing and the consequences of such make your opinion mute. Not that you can't talk, or feel good about it, but you're losing the ability to be humbled. Though, there's as many potential leaders as there are people.

I seek a way to lead with data. I want to crunch numbers and use them in service to ideals. It's why I look for those ideals in writing and then spend money on things I think will eventually get me there. Because I haven't done much lately, I'm feeling the burn of getting bogged down in inadequate language. So naturally, I needed to talk about it.

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