[404] Succeedingly Average

I want to reflect on the idea of “average.”

As you take in increasing amounts of information, the feeling that it is or isn’t living up to a level of expectation grows ever more nagging. All of a sudden, an “interesting” or “cool enough” example you came across becomes the gold standard. After your attention and internal monologue has been beaten to death by the superficial, verbose, or flat out pathetic, taking on a pretentious air is something of a defense mechanism.

I’ve been reading blogs. I posted that I would evaluate and give feedback from anyone who chose to share their site. You will find no swifter lesson in the “law of average” than in doing this exercise. My problem has less to do with people sucking or picking exceedingly boring, convoluted, or random topics to squeeze into their poorly formatted and .gif laden blog, but that I doubt they plan to get better and wonder if they recognize what my criticisms are speaking to.

Take the idea of a cliché. Clichés are bred from overuse and experience. So if I call your “women are equal too!” post a cliché, are you as familiar with every avenue that uses the exact same words to fight the exact same fight? I must doubt it.

What’s not cliché is to go into your own mind and experience. You know, that often “off limits” realm where what you really thought is too embarrassing or taboo for random fucks on the internet. It’s also the only interesting thing you have to offer. You’re not “quirky,” “nerdy,” or “the right kind of asshole” enough to stick out with those descriptions alone. And your sarcastic skater/gay/spouse/boss isn’t going to tickle me the same shade of pink they do you.

This also feels like the symptom of the massive “in general fuck this shit” problem I have with life. I think what you see is this kind of superficial average across all levels. It’s why a few anecdotes of amazing doctors will never erase a general distrust and fear of hospitals. It’s the same reasons teachers will be defaulted to “bitchy authoritarians” instead of lauded arbiters of humanity’s future. It’s the shock you feel when someone picks up a phone on a customer service line and pretends “empathy” was ever a word we bothered inventing.

I think it speaks to why I like to make a show of being “bad.” I think the consequences of being an average asshole are undersold. I think the concessions we make to speak politely and the hesitation we feel to react as strongly as needed to real problems will be a huge influence as to why we don’t last.

Take a “big picture” kind of analogy. The rule is entropy. Things will break much easier than they can be built. If you’re average, you’re literally only getting worse with each passing moment. Take a moment to be extra skeptical of the person who’s terribly comfortable with their lot in life. At all levels, you can quickly become dramatically worse.

More to the point though, think about what you’re building. You’ve only got so much energy and how it gets used will inform you for the rest of your life. If you create and are applauded for your mediocrity, that’s the story that gets told. That’s the story you’ll internalize and the highest you’ll be able to aspire to. I try to be loud about when I’m sucking because I don’t want you to think I believe it’s okay. I don’t want you to think I’m not aware of the standard I hold myself to. I take just enough pride in my perpetual headache about what it is I want, and I find nothing more exciting than when I recognize an opportunity to engage with or do exactly what meets that standard.