I
want to run an experiment. Take all the super geniuses in calculus
and physics and put them into a fourth year creative writing course.
Then take all the English people and stick them in music ensembles.
All the music people can go into law and the law people can try their
hands at the cutting edge math. I've had this theory for a long time
that "learning" is only effective when you can apply it to
your actual life. My thing for the past few years has been philosophy
and religious stuff so no wonder when I read a book with complicated
hypothesizes or difficult language I can still find a way to convey
it to someone I'm discussing it with. In college you don't have a
life. You have classes and a shitload of free time. You either spend
that free time memorizing and beating in equations, or worse, pages
of text, or you play rock band, watch movies, and drink.
Theoretically you can do both, but its privilege allotted to those
really smart kids who just look at something and can recite it back
with a complete understanding. In my opinion, I'm not doing
well in school because I'm lazy or stupid, but simply because I feel
like a specific type of person left astray in a setting that doesn't
facilitate my ability to learn. I mean I've wanted to get here my
entire life because I saw through high school, I knew just how b/s
90% the crap I was doing truly was, and now I'm put right back in
that setting only now it costs more. People like to talk about "one
day" things will kick in and you'll find your place. This not
only seems counterproductive but outright depressing. I like to
believe that I'm living life right now and am capable of doing and
saying great things that can influence the world around me. I'd like
to think that applying a lot of common sense reasoning based from
people smarter than myself and obvious cues from the current world's
situation, should be allowed more than blank stares and people saying
"ya…"
If the system wasn't
flawed they wouldn't have invented schools that specifically taught
kids about things they liked from an early age. People wouldn't give
talks about the question of whether or not schools kill creativity.
The "funny" phrase concerning the business school wouldn't
be you have to fail out to succeed. I'm just wondering what it is
going to take for a new level of consciousness to invade our current
level of thinking about our school systems. If I didn't have the time
to bullshit and bitch about how much I hate my current situation to
my friends, I would've snapped a while back.
The absolute worst thing
that anyone could've ever told me came from my uncle. My uncle mind
you manages accounts for millionaires and works for high class
companies. He said that he took all kinds of accounting courses
through college, was even here for 5 years. In comes the real world
and he's forgotten 90% of the material he went over. This isn't
significant? There isn't a lot of time just kind of going nowhere in
that scenario? College is more of a balancing act of trying to find
the easiest GPA buffers to take alongside the classes that are
supposed to prepare you for the real world. Can I really help the
fact that I'm drawn towards something that isn't highly regarded as
workable or practical? And this is under the assumption that those
judgments holds true are correct. The reason I did well in school was
because I was getting paid. That was my job, my life, I had to get
A's to make money and feel pround. Who cared if I understood the
material. It didn't matter if I would one day take my ability to
speed through math problems and make something of myself. No, all I
had to do was dick around in class, read enough to pass, erase my
mind for next year and start anew.
How many people am I
letting down by not being the typical smart kid in college? What is
that really reflecting to the world around me? I hate to think about
what my family will think, but on the other hand I'm entirely
apathetic about it if I'm not happy and feel like I have credible
reasons for why things are turning out the way they are. In order to
not sound like some arrogant immature asshole, I say prove me wrong.
I'll play scientist and say here's my experiment, here's my results,
run the test and tell me why I'm so misinformed. I read about human
nature, I watch social interaction, I watch talks and movies on the
questions of life, love, and truth. I know there are ways to exploit
seemingly limitless potential from hundreds of sources scattered
about our existence. So why am I wrong for being frustrated about
doing the work and beating in the information when I'm all but
certain it will not impact my life in the way that the money spent
doing it would? Why am I wrong when I know there are people out
there who take their good ideas, surround themselves with good and
productive people, and make absolute beautiful and meaningful
contributions to life simply because they said, I'm doing what I
want? There are such more important things that you can learn about
people and life in an hour conversation with someone that you'll
never get in a lecture hall over 8 weeks. Don't those matter more?
It's the businessman's hours of school work and stress that get him
his title and suit, but if he didn't have that swagger or
understanding about persuasive speech, or personality to connect with
the others with potential to help, what good is he? And this says
nothing of all the rich people who perpetuate the dumbest acts like
alcoholism, violence, or infidelity.
There is a key element in
how we perceive, and cope with, the way we live our lives that goes
totally unnoticed if you think you already have it, or don't concern
yourself with how much it matters. That is simply the truth. The
truth for me is completely different for you and the next person, but
it still exists. When you ignore it, ideas like guilt, sadness,
fear, stress, and "sin" perpetuate your thoughts. The
truth is that, yes, being in college can be a golden opportunity to
get rich, make contacts, and take you places. In light of all that
though, if you are not actually happy or actually have peace of mind,
those reasons immediately and outright don't matter. Why do people
drown themselves in self pity? How many loving families, millions of
dollars, and opportunities are swept away in the name of some
destructive decision? It seems like everyone's on some drug or
prescribe to one or more mind inhibitors. Are they fun? Do they
provide truth? These simple distractions from reality will only
hinder the already backbreaking process of finding truth. In this
college world I don't matter. I only matter to me and the people who
can't help but to care about me. So how is focusing on anything else
going to fill that gap?
