DISCLAIMER: Back when I started writing, I had no qualms about rambling, shit punctuation, no paragraphs, and text speak versions of words. I didn't spell check. It's not until about the 20s of the blogs where I pretend I have a grasp of the English language.
Words are a bitch. Words cause good they cause bad, they arise feelings that weren't supposed to be there and they kill things that were so precious before words went and fucked with them. I've never been one too good with words as my everyday life seems to keep showing me. If u know me at all u know i'm the one who says the shit that pushes it over the edge and makes things all "nick wtf mate?" On the plus side though most people have learned that's just my way. i don't put too much stock into what people say, only actions. you can say the most seemingly hurtful and hateful thing to me and i can brush it off as if it was nuthing. i guess i just assume people can do the same thing when i say shit. so yeah turns out i'm hella wrong. For neone out there reading this that's ever felt angry, uncomfortable, offend or w/e else for the love of god please know that i say shit and don't think. Most if not all of the time when i say stupid shit to press ur buttons its because i'm cool with u and figure if u can put up with me to keep talking to me and even dish it back out then there isn't a problem. The problem comes when people can't just tell me exactly what i said or when i say sumthing that makes them uncomfortable. Its not my intent to piss off the world or make people i thought were my friends think i'm trying to be ultra creepy or stupid just for them. If you have a problem tell me outright. how will i ever learn to make those little personality tweeks that allow me to better relate to u if u hold shit in and never slap me in the face with it? i'm all about being who u are and doing what u want, and what i want is to be cool with people who want to be cool with me. everyone's different and if i'm around u i want to know exactly what's appropriate and what's not. Saying shit to managers at work for example about the dumbass usher conversations and comments i make instead of coming to me first is a major problem for me especially when i straight up asked for sumone to tell me when the envelope was pushed too far. Saying and doing are sooooo completly differnt. I know i'm a super perv sumtimes and saying some super perveted crap is totally different than me just going for a boob grab or sumthing. I just don't know what will become of this situation or how to really express my confusion and distress. I don't deny nething or regret nething cus this has been a major learning opportunity for me. Neone have a problem or comment as to what they hate or sumthing about me then hell use that as a comment or sumthing. No shit i'm not perfect, i'm crazy, and all that jazz but i want specifics, no holds bar, everything u think is wrong with me. I'm sick of blurred lines and misinterpretations.
Words are a bitch. Words cause good they cause bad, they arise feelings that weren't supposed to be there and they kill things that were so precious before words went and fucked with them. I've never been one too good with words as my everyday life seems to keep showing me. If u know me at all u know i'm the one who says the shit that pushes it over the edge and makes things all "nick wtf mate?" On the plus side though most people have learned that's just my way. i don't put too much stock into what people say, only actions. you can say the most seemingly hurtful and hateful thing to me and i can brush it off as if it was nuthing. i guess i just assume people can do the same thing when i say shit. so yeah turns out i'm hella wrong. For neone out there reading this that's ever felt angry, uncomfortable, offend or w/e else for the love of god please know that i say shit and don't think. Most if not all of the time when i say stupid shit to press ur buttons its because i'm cool with u and figure if u can put up with me to keep talking to me and even dish it back out then there isn't a problem. The problem comes when people can't just tell me exactly what i said or when i say sumthing that makes them uncomfortable. Its not my intent to piss off the world or make people i thought were my friends think i'm trying to be ultra creepy or stupid just for them. If you have a problem tell me outright. how will i ever learn to make those little personality tweeks that allow me to better relate to u if u hold shit in and never slap me in the face with it? i'm all about being who u are and doing what u want, and what i want is to be cool with people who want to be cool with me. everyone's different and if i'm around u i want to know exactly what's appropriate and what's not. Saying shit to managers at work for example about the dumbass usher conversations and comments i make instead of coming to me first is a major problem for me especially when i straight up asked for sumone to tell me when the envelope was pushed too far. Saying and doing are sooooo completly differnt. I know i'm a super perv sumtimes and saying some super perveted crap is totally different than me just going for a boob grab or sumthing. I just don't know what will become of this situation or how to really express my confusion and distress. I don't deny nething or regret nething cus this has been a major learning opportunity for me. Neone have a problem or comment as to what they hate or sumthing about me then hell use that as a comment or sumthing. No shit i'm not perfect, i'm crazy, and all that jazz but i want specifics, no holds bar, everything u think is wrong with me. I'm sick of blurred lines and misinterpretations.
