DISCLAIMER: Back when I started writing, I had no qualms about rambling, shit punctuation, no paragraphs, and text speak versions of words. I didn't spell check. It's not until about the 20s of the blogs where I pretend I have a grasp of the English language.
Current mood: i have a headache
Current mood: i have a headache
i want to get bored
with life. I want my friends to not joke about killing themselves
because they really feel worse than they put on. I want to experience
everything and not view it as nothing. I want that one girl to leave
that one dick. I want someone to make someone happier than i could
ever make myself. I want to believe i'm wise beyond my years. I want
to help people with their problems and understand why. I want to stop
starting every sentence with I want. i'll take want over need ne day
cus need will fuck u up if u don't get it. at least u'll learn
sumthing by not getting what u want. and isn't that what's important?
to learn shit to help ur decision process for the future. i find that
a lot of people are scared to learn. not abc's and 123's kind of
bullshit but life in general. the hard lessons that will ultimately
make them stronger but generally scare them away. let's take one of
my favorite subjects relationships for example. i know too many
people in just crappy relationships that are so confused about what
they want from the relationship they just leave things be and
continue to be unhappy. now i'm all for people making their own
decisions and living their lives how they want but i can't sit idley
by and believe u want to be fighting or unsure about ur relationship.
i don't know if it's just highschool or the world in general but when
i see so many of my friends practically locking themselves to sumone
who dosn't make them happy it pisses me off. what's the point of
playing with sumone's emotions if u arn't going to put the effort
into it? is getting pussy worth making sumone vulnerable. people have
killed themselves over less mental turmoil yet there are so many that
will manipulate these girls to sickening ends. i've said it before
but it should never get old....find sumone who will immortalize u in
their eyes....not in that creepy i will follow u around on a chain
and watch u sleep at night kinda way but in a way that u actually
feel their love and not just hear it. So many random "i love
u's" in the halls from kids who've been dating for only a few
weeks. i mean is love so unexperienced and misunderstood that it can
be thrown about as though it were a ragdoll? how depressing is that,
the one thing that people should strive for and cherish is the one
thing most oftenly used to exploit and manipulate with. if u hav to
completly change ur identity for love then its not love. i know happy
outgoing people who turn into ms. obedient and reserved so as not to
anger their "loved" one when he's around. how do u justify
that sort of relationship where one says jump and the other says how
high? [overload of sarcasm point coming up] u've been with sumone for
three years, u've gone through sooooo much together, he's aquarius
and ur piscies, u lost ur virginity to him, he's tall dark and
handsom, he blah blah blahed ur blah blah blah. NONE of that shit
should keep u tied down if u don't truly love someone. yeah,
relationships have problems most easy enough to work out. first and
foremost if u think u love sumone then by all means try to work it
out and prove to each other that ur worth each other. it's important
to realize though that after u've tried to work it out, after u've
told the one u "love" ur problem and put the effort into it
that u see how they react to that information. u cry and express ur
feelings to him and he says sum b/s and tries to denouce ur feelinggs
or pretend like they don't exsist than i don't care what u may think
but u have to run as far as u can as quick as posible. u hav so
little time to find the one ur truly ment for. don't be afraid to
break off sumthing that isn't healthy and meaningful. don't trick
urself into believing what u hav is good and all the while looking at
someone else and wishing u had what they had. u can only become
stronger now armed with the knowledge of what not to have in ur
relationship. FUCK COMFORT ZONES. prolly the one of the most
dangerous things on the planet concerning the judgement about ur
feelings. he treats u like shit and now u've just learned to deal.
fuck that with ten thousand dicks. u should be happy with hurdles u
overcome together. not pushed under water let up to breath only long
enough to keep u alive and give u enough hope things will get better.
maybe there are
those out there that think i've some motive to say the things i do,
that i'm not in a long relationship or their situation is different
than neone elses but i always say the same thing. u love them so much
to suffer for them, why don't they do it for u? they say
they love u and they they'll be with u forever. they never show
it or make u feel it. neone can hold u in their arms, kiss
u, make u smile or laugh every once in a while. a select few can make
u actually feel loved and safe and important enough that there is no
question about the love or devotion to that person.
