DISCLAIMER: Back when I started writing, I had no qualms about rambling, shit punctuation, no paragraphs, and text speak versions of words. I didn't spell check. It's not until about the 20s of the blogs where I pretend I have a grasp of the English language.
Current mood: discontent
What the fuck is wrong with people. I dont get it. sumthing is totally fucked up. Everyone knows about it. noone says a goddamn word but me. And then Im the asshole who cant just forget and go along with the bullshit. Fuck that, if theres a problem then do sumthing about it. dont crucify the ones who arent afraid of the truth. When then is it finally ok to say sumthing? After he hits her, after she cuts to far, after the life has been ruined and the time has been wasted? I get it, privacy yada yada and wanting to deal with ur own issues, Im as big an introvert as the rest of em but if I was totally fucked in whatever I was doing and my friends just thought theyd go along and not feel obligated to tell me just how fucked up I am then Id want to kick their ass. Whats the point of friends then? My friends wouldnt let me stay addicted to crack or consistently hurt sumone I cared about. My friends dont talk about the bad stuff behind my back w/o being able to tell me to my face. What the fuck is a friend nemore? I dont think neone has the slightest clue. If people want to be my friend then they know within ten minutes of being with me I will not beat around the bush and bullshit around things but give u the hard truth then and there whether neones mentally kosher with the idea at the time or not. If u dont like that then why pretend to be my friend. Why put on a face if all u perceive me as is a pompass loudmouth know-it-all? Id like to believe people want to know the truth so they know how to go about fixing their problems instead of searching for new ways to cope. How many times do I ask during the day, what? When sumone gives me that face or that under the breath thing? And u know why I ask because I want to make sure I actually did sumthign worth getting such reactions, did I say whats actually going on or was I just trying to be annoying..2 completely different things. Easy to just pass off what I say as nicks typical crap isnt it. especially because it gives u another excuse to put off dealing with ur own issues like everyone thinks they are sooooo capable of taking care of by themselves and nuthing to show for their "efforts". I see things in black and white, simple w/o the construed mixed emotion b/s. and most things are like that whether u choose to believe it or not. If ur too big a person to just tell me things or hear what needs to be said then stop playing like ur a friend of mine. I dont need faces and fake people in my life who only know how to play with drama instead of how to work to fix it. u know what u get with me, everyday the same, if Im not what ur about then why talk to me, why keep me around and pretend like Ill change and fit in the the regular flow of things. Id like to believe Im not totally insane when I rant and say things. Id like for people to agree with me because they actually feel the same way not because they need to be told how to feel or what to do. Im not u or hav ur life, I get that, but I also have the common sense god gave a goat and can see whats happening right in front of me. Maybe u actually get what Im saying but think it would be beyond outlandish to let urself agree. Hell if I know but that doesnt justify me always getting the bulk of the negative feedback for everyone elses conflicting inner self. most the people I know are seniors in highschool or new collegees, 16-21 year olds who still play the games. if ur not gonna grow out of running from ur problems now then how are u going to deal with shit in the future when those problems get even bigger and uve more time to worry and fuss and complicate things. A flaming bag of shit is being sucked towards a giant fan in so many peoples lives. Whats easier, let it hit and then clean up the aftermath or shut off the fan?
U control the switch, whether its me saying how to use it or u coming up with a reason for ur own it still needs to be flipped.
Whether u think Im talking about u or ur friend or a specific situation is irrelevant because the same reasoning can be applied to anything in life.
I feel as if this kinda shadows the last blog so w/e u think Im kinda pissed and dont care if u came to the same assumption because the point doesnt get old to me.
