[341] Because You're Kinda Cool, I Guess

The burden of being extroverted. After coming from another baller night of hanging out and having fun I have nothing but a reeling mind. This is what they mean by gaining energy from social situations to a T.

So I've been scheduling a ton of events, granted maybe a week or so in between or small get-togethers that may have happened anyway by virtue of people being bored, but scheduling them nonetheless. This is part of my insidious plan to make sure no one ever feels grown up to overburdened by life or work. If in the past it was everyone getting completely wasted, which don't get me wrong I'm not against, these seem to be just opportunities to take your mind of things in general.

Now, there's a second part of my insidious planning. You well know that I never shut up. Whether it's talking into the blissful abyss of facebook, or just being loud in a gathering, apparently I have some form of vocal or mouth disorder that just keeps it coming. You heard it too, now think of visuals.

What I love is in the aftermath of the big loud gathering is the sidebar conversations. Probing why it may or may not be acceptable to qualify me as an asshole or discussing your relationship or why someone got particularly bitchy for seemingly no reason.

I LOVE, and I hate that word, these conversations. It's where, for me, you get a chance to strip away a ton of pretext, even in the potential feigning of energy for a social situation, and just get to further know each other. For as interconnected as we allegedly are via facebook or our phones, I can always and still find myself exploring new ground with friends.

It's a double edged sword sometimes. I get like really into those conversations and get, at least in my mind, super cool with people, and then maybe they just get bored with me. Maybe they move or just decide I'm not quite the right person for their life anymore. Haha, could I sound more lost puppy? This is where you learn to practice a kind of detachment. This is where it can take years of scattered get-togethers and interactions before it sort of clicks completely.

But I'm certainly no less excited for meeting and making new friends. I hope that whatever vibe it is people have managed to find it doesn't fall off dramatically. I constantly remind myself that the only truth is change, so when it seemed borderline that it may be worth sort of going radio silent and scouting out new opportunities, this just comes at a genuinely opportune time.

I understand that I'll likely always have significantly more time and energy to do things than most people. I hope that the making of a ton of events doesn't have the opposite effect and like alienate people for not “getting on my level.” Part of the idea is that not everyone's going to make it to everything and I want opportunities to chill with mixed up crowds or have someone who's got nothing to do aware that I'm at least trying.

I'm just really happy right now and don't want to talk myself out of it. This vibe feels like the “distant past,” oh those 2-3 years ago, you know, when we were young.