I have to believe I am smarter than a
grade I get in college. I have to think that me not understanding in
class when I pay attention and copy word for word what is being said,
it is more the fault of the teacher and how they “teach.” I’m
not in school for me, and I’m not sure I ever have been. Why did I
seem to love school when I was younger? Why did I, for the greater
part, really enjoy working at Showplace? I need fast paced,
challenging tasks, and an almost no opportunity to rest or I fail.
There is a vast amount of difference between a challenge and a pain
in the ass. A challenge implies to me that there is something maybe
only you could do be. Millions of people have passed college with all
A’s. When I was younger, I made my work into a challenge to see
how fast I could get it done perfectly. At work, I ran from theater
to theater and had to figure people out who would be best suited for
what job. In school, I get hours between classes, ranges of homework
from ten minutes to maybe a few hours if I’m cramming for a test,
and people that don’t seem to have much of a personal goal, let
alone a will for a collective initiative.
I think I’m failing at life. I don’t
even occupy my vast amount of down time with even vaguely productive
things I claim I like. I’m trying to force myself to change my
feelings and modes of thought, though I already know the effort is
futile. This isn’t because I can’t act a certain way, but I think
I have to bite the bullet and say there are something things you just
feel, or at least particularly don’t.
I think Mystik will fail. I don’t
think it will fail because its a bad concept. I don’t think it will
fail because of the people behind it. I don’t think it will fail
because of bad luck or random mistakes. I think it will fail because
people fail. They don’t understand and don’t care to. They can
change, but only when they are forced to. And evolutionarily
speaking, what else should we expect? I read a blog recently that
reiterated the idea of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
People don’t recognize any problems. They don’t see the holes and
they don’t allow themselves to get depressed thinking about them.
Sure, they think. They have hints of cogniscence here and there. They
get concerned when a venerable, and dare I say convenient, cause
comes along, but I feel this is only to satisfy a base human itch.
How do you make people understand something?
