Thursday,
September 11, 2008 at 11:36am
Let’s
be clear from the beginning. The purpose of this blog is for YOUR
MERE SPECULATION. After a rather exhilarating, let’s say
conversation, it has come to my attention that perhaps I have no idea
who in fact I think I am. Do I have emotions? Am I quick to judge? Is
there something, a key component to humanity, that I either suppress,
deny, or disavow that actively separates me from the happy vibe
everyone else is on? I’m really rather intrigued because I had a
flurry of accusations about my character hurdled at me tonight and
I’d like to see if they are right, especially because I feel they
were so emphatically wrong.
I guess I’ll put it this way.
Assuming life is a game, if I make people cry and get angry by “doing
me,” who “wins” in that conversation? I mean it’s becoming a
recurrent theme of me making people cry just by talking with them,
and I’m not sure why. Ok, that’s kind of a lie, but me telling
you I understand why would only exude my know-it-all arrogance,
right?
I guess I will tell you that I regard myself as
“perpetually meh.” I’m definitely not depressed, but I’m far
from perfectly happy. I actively search out opportunities to laugh
and have a good time, and those are exceedingly good times. I don’t
know, there really isn’t much to say because all I was really left
with was confusion lol, so I’m leaving it up to you to either
confirm or deny the things I, honestly can’t remember in whole, but
will spark something if I hear again. So again, your thoughts, meager
understanding, and wild speculation is what I’m after. And remember
kids, its all for fun, you won’t hurt my feelings :).
Updated
about 2 months ago
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"Am I
quick to judge?"
Yes, I think so. You're too hard
on people with religious faiths. Now, maybe I'm not being
correct because I'm not around you on a personal level. I'm
just gauging my opinion from what you've written in your Notes.
So, if I'm wrong, tell me.
My grandmother died
peacefully and happily this summer from battling cancer a
second time. Throughout her battle, she was ready to die
(Though she never lost the will to live) because she knew she
was going to heaven whenever her time came. It did on June 19th
and out of all the people I have ever met and known, she is the
only one I know who would ever deserve to live in eternal
paradise. She was the kindest, most generous person I ever
knew. Her faith brought her joy in a time of pain and I'm glad
for that. Whether I agree with her beliefs or not, I wanted her
to die in peace.
In its purist form, religions claiming
peace, love, and understanding are all fundamentally good. I
now know this from experience and I can only hope that others
will come to know it too.
*I know that religion can also
be corrupt and used for acts of a malicious nature but I'm
speaking outside of that spectrum for now.* |
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So, I guess
my main point is this: Be patient with those who disagree with
you. As long as they aren't hurting themselves or anyone else,
there should be no problem. :) |
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"Am I
quick to judge?"
Fuck yea you are, but there is no
reason to waste time on a person stuck in their religion box.
All I have to say about who you are is that your are NICK. The
asshole, the heartless relgion basher, the go geter, the good
cop,smooth talker. People look at your surface and assume that
that is your whole being, as is the case for most people. But
that is not true, why should you be super happy anyway. Are you
content with your position in life, I know I'm not and I'm not
going to be happy to I reach my goals which I assume is the
same for.
So, I guess my main point is: Be a asshole to
those who disagree with you. As long as they are around they
are hold you back . Do what you can to crush people like that,
because if you don't try to correct them who will. Their
influence already has infultrated our lifes, someone has to
stand against them. |
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Nick
P.
wroteat
3:48pm on September 11th, 2008
Daniel,
I
feel I must clarify. Your grandmothers situation is one I would
obviously not go after nor feel obligated to inform her of my
ideals as she's about to die. Yes, to that end it made her
happy, didn't harm anybody, all is well.
When it comes
to people hurting themselves, this could be a long answer but
I'll try to sum it up. When your taught as a child the very
idea of eternal hellfire for thought crimes, I feel it is quite
obvious the mental harm you cause yourself stressing over
whether or not you will end up there. I can both attest to this
and have seen the support programs for people well into their
60's and 70's who still suffer from such mental anguish.
When
it comes to patience, I don't feel I could be anymore patient.
I have spent months talking to people who eventually forced me
to leave the conversation with statements about how they would
have their children killed and why apes aren't talking. I spend
hours compiling links and information for those I feel might be
better understood after having watching it only to get ignored
and answered with some non sequiter argument or tantrum. I
source check everything someone gives me that is actual
evidence as well.
When it comes to me judging, I think
we should investigate under what circumstances I do, and what
prompted me to come to any conclusion as a result of it.
Something I tried to explain to the gentleman last night, I
make predictions for people. When those people confirm the
prediction, I find it harder to respect them. Also, I generally
get a flurry of thoughts, again thoughts, that judge the shit
out of everyone I meet. If I see behavior that reinforces those
initial thoughts, I don't feel guilty or wrong for being
"judgmental" because they've only confirmed my
initial speculations. It isn't as if I fold my arms and say
"All fat people are lazy and not worth talking to, or
anybody who claims a religion is automatically deluded and has
nothing to say to me."
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Like I
said, I don't know you personally enough. Thanks for the
explanation. You're on a good trek towards self-realization, it
seems. Keep at it!
Oh, and my name is Noah. No need to
be professional, Nick. |
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Nick
P.
wroteat
3:53pm on September 11th, 2008
Byron,
quite
obviously I agree. I don't want to waste my time with people
who I can't even vaguely see will be worth it. I'm never
content, I just am, another point most people can't catch too
readily. I like the word crush, but I aim to take it a step
farther and provide a platform from which they can rebuilt
themselves. Key theme, them being aware and actively choosing
who they are and what decisions will reflect their aim. Also, I
fully agree, if I don't try, I can't expect anybody else to,
nor feel warranted in bitching about them in the first place. |
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Billy
Bowman
(Bloomington, IN) wroteat
8:33pm on September 11th, 2008
Alrite
Nick, anyone hurling accusations at you is only doing so
because.. well, you were probably being you, and offended them,
and they just couldn't handle that. Not your fault, some people
just can't take criticism.
I'd say you have emotions,
just not the same mind set as most so they may see you as cold
and emotionless, especially since you yourself are 'too science
minded' to by into emotions being much more then chemical
reactions, neurons, etc.
As for quick to judge, I
really don't think you are. You judge people, there's no doubt
about that, but considering just how much you THINK about
everything, the reading you've done, seminars you've attended,
people you watch, you're not doing so quickly by any means. You
really seem to gather your information quite carefully, and
once you have it all, and whomever your victim might be is
feeling smug, in all likelihood thinking they've left you
stunned and speechless, you use all that information to unleash
a hellstorm of judgment.
As far as your arrogance and
wanting to 'wins' conversation goes, i don't see it. I suppose
it is arrogant to think of yourself as more informed, but it's
really the reality of the situation. I dare anyone to challenge
the amount of material you've gone through to get to where you
stand to day. I sure as hell couldn't. I've never seen you
attempt to win a conversation, only either try to inform
someone, or at least get them to try to inform themselves
(which probably comes off as "i'm fucking smarting then
you, listen to me damnit" because people are dumb as hell,
and really are pretty closed minded) OR.. make yourself laugh,
no matter who you offend.
In a related note, if i were
to criticize 99% of the people i know in this fashion, they'd
hate me for at least a week, which shows something about your
character. |
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Nick
P.
wroteat
8:49pm on September 11th, 2008
Lol the
weirdest thing about the conversation is that I wasn't
criticizing the person, I was just explaining who I am and why
his assessment wasn't correct. |
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Billy
Bowman
(Bloomington, IN) wroteat
8:52pm on September 11th, 2008
..So..
They
just started hurling accusations? |
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Having only
known you for a week or so now, I would have to say, while you
are quick to judge in some cases, you are usually correct in
your assumptions about people. Unfortunately for a few of us,
people (including myself at times) generally acquiesce to
certain stereotypes that demean humanity as a whole. As such,
we are easily grouped into rather bland collections.
As
for your being adept at cracking down on people with religious
views, you obviously know that there is a time and place for
such things and that under certain circumstances, it is
unacceptable even by your lax standards. You have just as much
a right to speak your mind on your religion, or lack there
of.
In any since, you are a good guy. You are a great
friend to many, and, as I have personally seen, you do not
hesitate to help someone else out when you are able. I know its
cliche, but don't change you for anyone but you. Keep doing
what you're doing. |
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Nick
P.
wroteat
9:19pm on September 11th, 2008
Mr.
Bowman,
Ya lol kinda. Tried to analyze me and whatnot.
And yes, all I can do to stay sane is keep laughing.
Colin,
Thank you sir, I ain't changin :) |
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Alrighty
Nick, this is my time to jump in...
No shit, you judge
people. Everyone at one point in their lives will judge people.
There is no innocent person here that can say that they do not
do that.
However, here is the point that differs you
from everyone though: You are not afraid to tell people your
judgements. It can come off as rude at times because it may not
be "socially acceptable" to do so.
We already
had a conversation about this topic previously, but I will
restate some points and add some new ones. You say these things
to (A) because you just want to say something about the topic
(B) want to get a good/bad reaction from what you say (C) you
actually want to have an (gasp) intelligent non-rehearsed
conversation with someone or (D) I think you want to have a
conversation with someone that can stand up for themselves and
possibly shock you with a new idea.
Random side note,
you can come off as intimidating because of the strong stances
you take. I give you kudos though because your judgements are
created after careful thought and usually are dead on.
As
for the warm touchy feely emotions, you do have them. You
showed the bad side of it when that stupid girl came in front
of your car. I think you do show the good side of it when
people do wrong to your friends. Most people don't get to see
or care to take the time to look for that side.
Keep
writing. Whether or not people agree with what you say, at
least it is interesting... |
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Nick
P.
wroteat
10:19pm on September 11th, 2008
I must say,
I rather enjoy these assessments. I do appreciate you taking
the time to offer your inputs. Ms. Rosie, I will indeed keep
writing, especially since the one time I tried to stop I went
damn near insane lol. I'm glad you put in (D) because that
really is one of my main focuses that gets quickly overlooked.
Ultimately, I'd like people to just learn, and most importantly
be honest, about themselves, because after that they'll know
everything they need to know about me :). |
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