Preface
If
there is only one thing you should know about me its that I think, a
lot. I reached a boiling point in my head and one rant blog is no
longer sufficient in the effort to keep me sane. I've read about all
arguments that attempt to argue for proof of God. I hear about the
different weird and negative relationships people are in. Lately I've
been trying to talk to as many people as I can to gain more
perspective as I keep finding out you can never know too much about a
subject. When I talk on these subjects, and too the people, I'm
almost terribly blunt and feel as though they think I'm missing some
dire point they're trying to make by my short and sweet answers. I
assure you that is not the case and in writing this all out,
hopefully I will be able to draw the proper analogies and tie in all
the ramblings of my mind into a better foundation of understanding. I
will try to provide as many links (which probably won't yet exist at
the time your reading this) to the different books or videos I
reference because they will always be a lot more descriptive and
provide the exact source of what made me think or say something the
way I did. I'm working on getting mp3's of any book I mention and am
soon going to buy everything I've read if you are interested in
borrowing. The library works too. The parts of this, I'll call it an
essay, I imagine can be read separately. The parts on religion are
designed to show why I think and say the things I do. They are not an
attack at belief, in a sense, but an attempt to simply raise
consciousness about issues you've maybe never thought about. The
relationship part is more than likely going to be a reiteration of
blogs I wrote years ago, but more encompassing and detailed. I want
to discuss and revise my thinking constantly. This will forever be a
work in progress and if you find anything you want to add or argue I
will gladly indulge you. I only ask that you read with an open and
focused mind so this becomes something positive and helpful and not
demonized to fight about.
Definitions
One
of the major reasons for discourse amongst the people I talk to and I
are the varying definitions of certain key words. I want to clear
this up in the beginning as we can go nowhere if we're not even
speaking the same language.
Interpret:
an
explanation of something that is not immediately obvious.
Over
and over I hear about how people are supposed to interpret the bible
and I can't help getting overly frustrated. When you interpret
something its automatically changed. The second you take in any piece
of information your mind twists it into whatever best fits what
you've encountered in the past. Ten million people interpreting one
book and not getting the same answers is such staggering proof of
this fact I don't know how people ignore the inconsistencies of
people calling themselves part of the same religion.
Faith:
complete
confidence in a person or plan
This
is something that is not up for question. If you ever go "o but
wait" in your mind in regards to any subject you automatically
do not have perfect faith in that subject. This can be a dangerous
thing if taken too far, for example, does anyone remember September
11th?
When I talk of faith, I talk of something that is inherent and too
often irrational that we devised to better soften the blows of things
we fear or don't understand. Whether you have faith in your
relationship or faith in God there is part of you that is relying on
nothing but a strong inner conviction that does not require empirical
proof nor is up for discussion.
Fact:
An
indisputable truth. (Update 7/8/2018): A better definition is "anything that can be proven or disproven."
This
means that simply calling something a fact does not give it the
characteristics as such. When I give a fact its from a well
documented subject or respected person of the field. The idea
corroborates with others in the field and cannot be refuted simply
because you don't think its true.
Belief:
This means
that an individual is convinced of the truth of a statement or
allegation.
I'm
always reminded of this idea, "Just because you are convinced
that something is true does not make its so, it is merely
convincing." I am on constant guard when it comes to what I
actually believe because it matters to me what I tell people
truthfully. As a subscribing member to the human race I find that it
is easy to be wrong about a multitude of things when you go in
looking for information on the preconception that your already in the
know. This is why I hate it when people tell me "Well you
believe what you believe and I'll believe what I believe, and we'll
leave it at that." If you can't even begin to convey to me what
you believe how can I go away secure in thought that you even know
what you believe?
Hope:
A desire for
something to happen, while expecting or being confident that it will
come true.
It
is important to note the difference between hope and faith here. Hope
is the stage we are constantly in. Faith is entirely mind
encompassing. You hope your relationship gets better. You hope for
good health and a good life. It allows you to take in the evidence
and persevere down a given path, while faith can completely cloud and
lock in an ideal.
Freedom:
The power to
act or speak or think without externally imposed restraints.
I
made this one last because I want to make a special point about it.
One thing I consistently hear is that God gave man free will. I so
100% completely disagree with that statement and I will tell you
explicitly why. Reread the definition of freedom. In the religious
realm you are not free to disbelieve. If you disbelieve, the
externally imposed restraint that sends you to burn in hell kicks in.
According to their view, even if your not playing within their rules
your subject to be punished by their God. There is absolutely nothing
free about this. There is no real choice that exists with such a
view. You can be a motor-cross athlete and attempt a double back flip
or not ever try. Yes, you may be judged
as
a pussy, bad ass, cool, reckless, etc…with either choice, but those
judgments can be accepted just as freely as they can be rejected. The
"freedom of choice" in religion is a not so elaborate mask
put on in the face of analysis that never dug deep enough.
Logical
Fallacies
If
your going to discuss/argue I believe you should at least learn about
the different fallacies you may or may not have been imposing to
justify your position. Another reason I get discouraged from talking
to people is that they start with a glaring gap in logic and then
digress their position from that point. If I can find a the video
again there is a quick run through of 22 fallacies that are the main
proponents to such arguments. There is also a list in "Why
People Believe Weird Things" by Michael Shermer that you can get
from the library. The different ways people try to convince me of
their thinking generally circle around these ideas:
Anecdotes:
You tell a story that seems to support your view. 1 story or 10
stories don't matter if they can't be tested and confirmed by anyone
but you.
Burden
of Proof:
If you can't disprove God then he must exist. Unfortunately the job
lies with the person making the claim. I don't personally say God
doesn't exist because I believe it's a retarded concept to argue
about. If you affirm that he does, its your job to prove it. In the
same respect if I say something I will gladly offer the proof and
source of my assertion.
After
the Fact Reasoning:
In short, superstition. Because one thing happened then something
else must have been the reason. "Correlation does not mean
causation." When you want something to be the reason so badly,
then to you, that something will become the reason. Your mind is set
to make you happy, if only eventually. If you can't guard against
yourself you fall prey to yourself.
Representativeness:
As Aristotle said, "the sum of the coincidences equals
certainty" again taken from Shermer's book it's the idea that we
forget the shortcomings and remember the meaningful times. It's the
automatic rationalization you adhere to when your truly uncertain but
don't want to give up hope.
Unexplained
is Not Inexplicable:
"I have some event in my life that I can't think about in any
other way so it must be God." This one bothers me the most. I
don't care to argue people's personal lives. I can't change you, and
would die trying. Your life, as depressingly compelling as it may
seem, could always be worse and probably has many unrealized reasons
for your behavior in certain situations. This doesn't even need to
apply, though it has been tried, when you speak of what God didn't
allow in your life. If you want a competition to see who can write
about all the times God didn't allow you to die you'd have to factor
in all the meteors that don't crash on your house, cars you didn't
hit on the way home, and shanks you missed out on walking a city
street.
How
to Think About Evolution and Natural Selection
Your
teachers taught it. You hear about it on the news when a discrepancy
with a creationist arises. You can either accept or deny it. I was
once told by one of my Christian friends that she believed in "parts"
of evolution and when I inquired as to which ones she said "well
I don't believe we came from monkeys." This tells me that
adequate truths about the theory are not being sufficiently
circulated to the mass populous. The b/s arguments that there are
massive gaps in the fossil record and no proof that humans came from
something lower are disproved in 15 seconds with a google
search. I have the sites saved in my favorites if you don't care to
investigate on your own. I also have the names of books that are even
better documented and referenced. There was no "chance" in
any part of evolution other than random mutations. And when I say
mutations I don't mean some grotesque monster that you'd see in some
science fiction novel. Only different changes in cells that account
for slight variations. The mountains of evidence in favor of the
theory will not be summed up here. I only offer an invitation to get
informed before you position an argument on something you only think
you know about.
Observable
"Human" Nature
We
think we are the most important. We don't bother to worry about the
billions of galaxies in a multi-verse where billions of other life
bearing planets may exist. We are trained to think that the things
people do are so beyond different and special than what animals do
its just "obvious" that someone created us. I find it very
interesting then to learn about the behaviors of apes and especially
a species of bird. You might already expect to hear that certain
primates care for their young, cooperate to achieve goals, compete
for status, and so on so forth. I read about a type of bird, I
believe in "The God Delusion," that goes so far as to do
good deeds like feed others young and take the dangerous lookout
positions at night to make a name for themselves. Birds. Our time
honored values of being brave and honorable, trusting and loving, are
exhibited in birds with egos. You need to get over yourself. Its not
defeatist or nihilistic to see and say things for what they really
are. We are products of a process who's only goal is survival. The
very fact that we are here means that we are the best suited so far
for the current situation. Your kids will be a little better off,
their kids too, and so on. (Un)fortunately we have become so advanced
that we can avoid or negate the regular natural occurrences that
would usually weed out the weaklings. It is your selfish genes that
want to stay alive that cause over population and starvation. You can
stop wondering why God isn't answering their prayers to be fed.
Religious
Moderation
If
you don't kill the heretic for talking bad about your God then you
are practicing religious moderation. I wanted to get the definition
of interpretation out of the way to help explain the problem
religious moderation has on the world. In a discussion with a
religious friend I asked who's job it was to tell the guy that shot
the abortion doctor that his interpretation was wrong. Which
religious group is going to confront the people who hold up the signs
saying "God hates fags?" The fact, simple and observable
fact, of the matter is that people pick and choose which verses are
most
perfect
in forwarding their personal ideas. The next guy that shoots a homo
and holds up Leviticus 20:13 can't really be told he misinterpreted
can he? Its right there, word for word, the perfect inspired Word of
God. "If
a man lies with a male as with a women, both of them shall be put to
death for their abominable deed; they have forfeited their lives." If
your reading this you've probably never killed a homo. No "sane"
person of faith ever has. The problem arises when an atheist or
agnostic tries to point out that this guys mind was warped by
faithful conviction and the religious moderates say back off, let him
believe what he wants to believe. If the religious person tries to
confront those people their arguing the God of the bible against the
God of the bible. Try and work out the conflicting rationalizations
then. When you choose the parts to praise and parts to ignore your
obviously working on some other authority than God's. If you "just
don't agree" or "think I'm just not getting it" try
owning a slave and using the bible to back you up.
Empathy
Say
you just got out of a bad relationship. Your heartbroken, can't see
straight, and the world just doesn't seem to make sense. Millions of
questions are darting around your head and before you even utter a
word your friend comes along and says " I know how you feel."
More often then not, you don't believe them, or you can't trust that
they do because their not the same sex, or haven't been in the same
type of relationship. Now there are good and bad things involved with
taking this viewpoint. Well from what I can tell, mostly bad, the
only real good point you can be sure of is that they haven't lived
your life or dated that guy. Other than that, the depression, anger,
hopefulness, lust, fear, confusion, or love that you may think you've
felt they can empathize. When I talk to someone I hate to think that
just because I haven't been in long term relationships they believe I
have no idea what I'm talking about.
Feelings are
compelling. You'll get over them. When you think that life would not
be the same, or that your still going to be emotionally attached your
only worrying yourself about something your not experiencing. Yes,
there will probably be residual feelings. Yes, people deserve chances
and problems should be talked or worked out. The facts will always
stare coldly in the face of overwhelming and conflicting feelings.
You can make every excuse and I'm going to show them on this nice
diagram .
You go up and down while reading across. Whether this is the exact
format of what happened in your relationship or not it's what can
happen when you can't handle the little problems early. It doesn't
matter how nice you are or how great you think him to be. The
problems are problems. Complaining and hoping will never make them
better. You either suffer in a relationship where you constantly
rationalize everything he does and justify your feelings towards it
or you break it off. Go back to being friends, see what it feels like
to talk and exist with out "relationship tension" clouding
your heart. You can either be a victim of the line, waver in and out
of it, or avoid it all together, but it takes action not excuses.
Love:
The Games We Play / The Abuse of the Word
O
how to begin? Love bothers me. It's the strongest drug with no law
against it. You get taken in by its soothing aroma one minute and
find yourself cutting in spite of it the next. People live and die by
it, yet they are also brash enough to play with it.
If
I think about times I would consider myself "in love" once
would be with my stuffed animals as a little kid, and the second
would be with a girl who didn't love back ;). There's, I dunno, 20 or
so depressed and confused blogs about the ordeal. I don't talk much
about myself if this is the first time you hear any of this. I call
these times love because of the thoughts and feelings I have/had when
I reflect on them. With the stuffed animals, when I really put myself
back into my kid mind, as my mom cut open and pulled the stuffing
from one of my bears in retribution for breaking a glass or something
of hers I never felt anything more painful. Anyone who says you don't
get emotionally attached to your toys is full of shit. Mind you, I'm
a smart, mean, and inventive kid. Imagine the types of terrible
thoughts I was concocting in a moment of such anguish. No I'm
not looking for a pity party or for you to tell me my mom was a
little confused on how to handle children, I'm well aware. The point
is that no matter how young or old you are, "experienced"
in the ways of pain and confusion, there's someone out there that
knows how terribly hopeless you can feel.
That's probably not
good enough for you so I'll go on about the later situation. Now I'm
overly critical when it comes to girls. I can find any flaw and blow
it up and automatically turn a girl from cute and agreeable to merely
"doable." So imagine my surprise when someone comes along
that I can't find anything wrong with. Not only that she's more than
I ever thought I could imagine. All of a sudden my usual selfish
thoughts are replaced by nothing but hopes, dreams, and aspirations
that concern her. I'm not gonna lie, I got borderline nuts and
sincerely tried to make it all go away in the name of calm, cool, and
rational Nick, and it just wasn't happening. All the questions, all
the rationalizations, all the hopes and dream, frustration and
bullshit that unfolded is in those blogs. I know how confused you can
get, I know how hard it is to listen to the real world, I know what
it feels like to be the only one that "knows" while
everyone else is just missing it. You don't have to be in that
persons relationship to empathize and understand their situation. The
facts remained. I got over it and myself. I learned to keep my faith
in understanding and the statute of love separate from my hopes that
it would be with any specified person. It was a hard ass lesson to
learn and fuck me if I can't convey how shitty it can get when you
become good at making excuses.
(line
not able to be shown on myspace) like you've read this far newayz
Religion
of Love
It's
what the 9/11 bombers joined. It what I, to a lesser extent, joined.
Its what we all hope to be apart of and not manipulated and hurt by.
The perverted con artist with his stunning good looks and stylish
ways thinks he invented it. The teenager thinks they can handle it.
The confessed believer thinks they understand it. I find it the
ultimate oxymoron that people join a religion for love, always
looking from the outside in, instead of taking a bit of advice from
the Buddhists who believe change comes from within. Its in this area,
all the talk about how much, in fact the infinite, amount of love
Jesus has for you that I think religion commits its greatest sin.
What could be more
worthwhile and compelling than the love of an infinite God? How can
one be so vain as to worry about a petty life issue when all their
time and attention needs to be focused on a confessed jealous God?
The idea that this ultimate love from God is more important than life
itself is what helped drive me insane when I tried to become
Christian in pursuit of it. Granted, you would probably say I was
doing it for the girl or for any number of wrong reasons, but I can
only tell you that while it may have started out as such, I worked at
making that not so, and not surprisingly still to no avail. When I
think about the different stories I've heard in some "Christian"
relationships I'm amazed that I ever thought it was something to
aspire to.
I'd never have
expected things like, slapping, talking down to, mentally abusing,
threats, and orders to come out of a "Christian" towards
his so-called loved one. What I find more disturbing than that is the
reasoning the girls use to stay in the relationship. If that buffer
line touched on anything you've ever said or felt in a relationship,
elevate and tie in all the good things with God and the demonize bad
things with the Devil. The battle is no longer felt like its in your
control. You have this never ending thirst for this everlasting love
that, excuse me, exists only in your mind, and you pray and cry for
answers that just never seem to appear because its all part of a plan
that your not supposed to, nor can begin to, understand. You no
longer believe in yourself. You believe in the belief. Without it
your more than lost, your nothing. Your hope springs eternal for a
new life of soldier with slave duties. But of course, you can throw
it all away right? You have a choice to think about other
"non-Christian" girls and be adulterous. You can get your
groove on as many times as you want for as long as you live, and
you'll only have to go to hell as payback. And God said unto man
"Love Me or else, make your choice."
How
to Think
No
one teaches you how. They try to tell you how but ultimately we
assume that because we are, hopefully, we are doing it correctly.
Moreover, we couldn't function as our selves if we didn't assume we
were thinking correctly. Unfortunately, your brain has side streets
and trap doors where your thoughts can fall which effectively change
your perception without you ever needing to be aware they exist.
Preconceived notions are some of the biggest things affecting how you
rationally think. When you adopt or credo or set of beliefs they act
as a speed bump for everything you ever see, hear, or do. Take on
that bump long enough and you think its simply "you." If I
was religious I would probably also take offense to a book entitled
"god is not Great" how religion poisons everything. At the
same time my offense doesn't change any of the words that could have
a significant impact on my thoughts. I wouldn't even touch the book
because I "know" it has nothing to do with anything I care
about because I only care about God. While its obvious the book is
going to have different opinions it also address many if all of the
questions your faithful leaders are discussing behind closed doors.
Not to take any light off of the history behind the different
religions it describes.
Do
I know for sure that I know exactly the perfect way to think all the
time? No. Do I think the way I think is credible and can be explained
in hopes of other people adopting certain ideas to help themselves?
Yes. When you think too much your bound to find a way that is able to
put all your thoughts and life experiences, past and present, and
keep them in context with respect to a range of perceptions. In other
words you can become passionate
and not irrational.
Your maybe the old guy that the kids come buy and ask for insight and
advice from.
When you think, you
have to consider what type of information your getting from what
source. Can it trusted and tested? You have to think about what
instances in your own life may influence your first reaction or
thought to the idea well before you verbally announce them. Anyone
who's stopped themselves from saying "A black guy robbed them?
Of course" knows how to avoid their "brought up in a racist
home" bump. You have to re-evaluate what you call "you."
If you can't establish your
views, opinions, and even confusions, your playing a whole new
dogmatic game.
I
Don't Know
For
whatever reason these seem to be the hardest words to fully embrace
by anyone. There's nothing wrong with them. They are inevitable with
the endless questions we humans are capable of asking. By
understanding that you don't know, you can begin to question the
reasons
you don't know. It is unfortunate that while every religion knows
everything they still don't know how to admit when they're wrong. I
don't trust people with all the answers because they're people
with all
the answers.
Do I know the be all end all of your relationships with God or some
significant other? Of course not. Do I know what I can see, hear, and
learn about? More than anything else I could claim to know. I don't
want you to think, and you don't, that I know it all. But I know a
lot, and so do you. The world is a sea of information that grows
exponentially every second magnifying and converging on a point that
may never have an end. You're the only one who can break the wall of
excuses and fear in you mind.
