Thursday,
December 31, 2009 at 1:46am |
What it means to be an adult
I'm pissed off for my guy Hatsam right now on the off chance he doesn't share enough anger for the both of us. He's currently, as I type this, getting his ass chewed out about school, money, grades, etc. and his parents are explaining to him that he doesn't understand what it means to be an adult. I hate self-righteous speeches and pillars because they are so unbelievably hypocritical I don't know how people manage to sit through them if not for being in complete denial about or deaf to what they are hearing. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the majority of adults in my life, and that I've witnessed, who are at the reigns of control are irrational, petty, power hungry, horrendous money managers, high-strung, depressed, and unbearably immature. What does it mean to be an adult? I'll tell you. Being an adult means you find a job, any job, that makes you live paycheck to paycheck and support your meager existence. You're an adult when you've incurred thousands of dollars worth of debt. You're an adult when you have no choice but to adopt a stressful and time consuming lifestyle because you've either been bent over by your environment or bent yourself over from a slew of ridiculous decisions and irrational judgments. If your family or general experience with the world is even remotely like mine, how on Earth can you take seriously one of these ridiculous fucks giving you a lecture on what it means to be an adult?
Even though I will always feel like a "kid" and probably behave more or less like I'm hopelessly immature, I can feel endlessly confident in my "adult" status purely because I'm not a ridiculous fuck of an example that the adults I've known have set. I keep my emotions in check, I don't spend exorbitant amounts of money on things I don't need, and perhaps most importantly (and this could be a philosophical point), I make decisions that I think are going to increase my happiness with life. EVERYONE, every fucking person I know has some shitty situation, is more or less depressed on varying levels of denial about it. I think it is the height of responsibility and self-respect by doing everything in my power to avoid falling into that kind of adulthood. Remember people, I don't give our species any credit behind kinda-smart-ape assholes, so if you can manage to be happy when all you're used to is catching and flinging shit, you've accomplished something.
What kills me the most is why things will never get better. Take the situation downstairs. Has Hatsam probably fucked up here or there with what he should or shouldn't have said? I don't know and don't really care. He's proven to be a reasonable person the majority of my experience with him and I would leave whatever responsibility for his choices or words on him. What I do know is that his parents are projecting their own unhappiness, their bullshit lives, their bad relationship with him and turning it into a drawn out unnecessary torrent of a lecture that could be solved in five minutes with just the facts and an understanding and respect for the kind of person he is. Because they allowed for a world of confusion and anger about money, he gets shit for it. Because they don't understand, care to develop a real relationship with, or care to explore a world of possibility instead of restriction, they make it his problem as well.
The reality is that no matter how "adult" or "childish" we feel, all of our experiences are generally same; we go through the same emotions, we run into money issues, we make bad decisions and guess what? Who gives a fuck! Get over it, fix it, shit happens. This is the den of assholes we were born into to, manage yourself and cut a path. Don't make your problems someone else's because they'll assure you've they've already got it and more. How much regret do you need in your life to conduct yourself in such a manner? How badly do you hate what you do, hate the people around you, hate yourself to want to kill the only relationships most people (ha, as if that should count anymore) would regard as the only ones you need to keep in tact at all cost? Your wishes, dreams, and "good will" towards someone doesn't speak even remotely towards the reality, and when you don't wake up to that fact, stop pretending it's a surprise when shit goes wrong. When they turn out exactly as you knew they would from month one, but couldn't stomach it.
The 16-23 old group of people is a general group of fuck ups for their own reasons, but they overwhelmingly didn't grow up surrounded by 16-23 year olds. This is the reality I wish people would wake up to. We are influence and are influenced by "the collective" or "the family" every day, and there is either a reason or an irrational asshole that put that influence into gear in the first place. You take it for granted that they are just acting in your best interest. After all, they go out of their way to remind you of that fact every bleeding second of the day right? You make yourself believe that no matter how much someone pisses you off, they are still your mom, dad, or relative and somehow that gives them power to bring you down with them. You're expected to learn that life is too short from people who don't even know how to live their own. Survival is not living.
Something I really wish anyone who reads this will take away from it is that it doesn't matter your background, your indoctrination, or the type and manner of lectures and lies you've had to sit through. There is still hope that you can take personal responsibility. You can, at any time, wake up to reality. You can wake up to your potential and the nature of things. If your parents are irrational, you are not bound by their irrationality. If your family is unhappy, you are not destined to be unhappy. If you understand for a second that your reality can drastically change in any moment and that feeling excites, scares, and makes you appreciative of your current situation, you are infinitely more informed and open to reality than any "wise old aunt" who tells you the next 50 years of your life are going to be filled with bad decisions and monotonous life draining work. You have to fight, every second of every day.
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about 2 months ago · Comment · LikeUnlike
Javon
Renne Washington-Brown
likes this.
Just
like all of your other notes, very well said. You can put into words
what alot of people think. I personally think highly of that
"talent".
December
31, 2009 at 9:51am ·
its
a never ending circle. you may disagree but until we have our own
children we may never know the method behind their literal madness.
Unlike my family, i treat my mother like a child and feel like i am
raising her she is 61 years of age and i have to give her financial
advise/help. Her 33 yr old husband is in the navy and does nothing
more than... See More play on the computer, eat, sleep, shit.
Although he is in the navy he is a CS. CS stands for CULINARY
SPECIALIST. A MOTHER FREAKIN CULINARY SPECIALIST- this means he did
so bad on all the military testing required to enter the military
that he is only qualified to work with food. Hes been in for 13 years
and has yet to advance any further than E5 (this by military means is
just straight laughable). My point being-if my "parents"
were competent i wouldnt have to basically lecture them on how to run
a house hold-So full circle meaning- if sam was in his parents
position or you were sams parents how would you handle it. By no
means am i defending his bitchy rents-ive heard it before. im just
raising the following question: are we all victims of circumstance?
would he do better without his parents barking down his throat
everyday or would i be less of a bitch if i was actually raised by my
parents instead of raising them. BTW just wanted to complain about
this cmas break. Thanks for your time. lol.
December
31, 2009 at 2:15pm ·
Hatsam
and I discussed how I would handle it actually lol. I would have said
no to letting him go out of state for school if we couldn't afford
it. Assuming we thought we could or would handle the loans, I'd be
handling it the exact way that he and his mom espouse now. He'd get a
job, start paying the loans back, drop out of school until he found a
reason or will to go back. As long as he made rent and was happy
doing his own thing then more power to him.
December
31, 2009 at 5:11pm ·
respec
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