Friday,
November 20, 2009 at 1:49pm
I'm going to write instead of studying for my test in an hour.
I come across as hard. My cock is always throbbing and knocking people over. Well, that aside, when people don't know me it's easy to write off my general behavior as simply being "a dick," cold, or disrespectful. I would argue that the general group of people who are quick to assert these, are the least capable in grasping anything about my personality, let alone what makes those redeeming or untrue. I'll pose a scenario. Your group gets together to study for a Spanish oral exam at the library. You find a spot and proceed to helplessly flail through the pages of your Spanish book. After 20 minutes of this you proclaim you're too tired, can just do it on Sunday, and have all this other crap you have to do for other classes anyway. In those moments, I decide to be a "dick" and report something my psych teacher just went over about how we are adept at making excuses and concessions for our behavior, and I find it quaint that this is explicitly of the nature of the caricaturization the teacher was making in class. The question; is it disrespectful to allude to a class experience I had that mirrored the situation and relatively indirectly signaled that I was displeased, or was it disrespectful to waste my time and pretend like you can hold to a schedule and care to get something done?
Let's a take a moment to explore why I would ever even choose to "be a dick" when I see something I don't agree with. Habits are hard to break, and I don't pretend like that isn't the case. If you have some personality quirk, like making excuses and feeling comfortable doing so, I'm going to attack it because nothing positive comes from getting good at a behavior like that. (This could be elaborated upon much more in depth and intelligently so don't hold me as too retarded for not expounding in my time now.) If that behavior and disposition bleeds over into my time and my experience, I'm even more pressed to voice something. Here's the kicker, I find this as being one of the most respectful things I can express towards a person. Rarely, quite rarely, is it my goal to just make someone feel bad, and I stress frequently that when that is my goal, you will know it. When you take my, habit, of pointing out negative personality traits, or weird views and bad ideas you may hold, it is your responsibility to handle it. I am willing to bet everything I have that you can't offer a kind of retort that would render my strategy hopelessly flawed or grounded in bad philosophy.
What I find is the biggest let down, is again, and yes I'm going to sound arrogant, pompous, etc., when I can't really care when I just report what happens. When my "hope" for someone turns into my playing with them because I saw something, let it slide, and thought they had another dimension that would be the prevailing promising personality. The people I like, and get along with, and I'll take for granted it's even remotely reciprocated, all have ways of thinking and behaving that, whether I like or not, still manage to reach a common ground with where my head is at. These people talk, they aren't quick to merely get angry and throw a fit, and most importantly, they have more thoughts about themselves than they do me. And this is how we relate. I don't get angry at someone who has the balls to bring up what they think about me or their thoughts on a situation. I do get angry when feelings and misconstrued mental minefields are created ready to go off with the slightest provocation. I won't tippy toe around you, and if you find this disrespectful, annoying, or me being a dick, you don't matter.
I'm going to write instead of studying for my test in an hour.
I come across as hard. My cock is always throbbing and knocking people over. Well, that aside, when people don't know me it's easy to write off my general behavior as simply being "a dick," cold, or disrespectful. I would argue that the general group of people who are quick to assert these, are the least capable in grasping anything about my personality, let alone what makes those redeeming or untrue. I'll pose a scenario. Your group gets together to study for a Spanish oral exam at the library. You find a spot and proceed to helplessly flail through the pages of your Spanish book. After 20 minutes of this you proclaim you're too tired, can just do it on Sunday, and have all this other crap you have to do for other classes anyway. In those moments, I decide to be a "dick" and report something my psych teacher just went over about how we are adept at making excuses and concessions for our behavior, and I find it quaint that this is explicitly of the nature of the caricaturization the teacher was making in class. The question; is it disrespectful to allude to a class experience I had that mirrored the situation and relatively indirectly signaled that I was displeased, or was it disrespectful to waste my time and pretend like you can hold to a schedule and care to get something done?
Let's a take a moment to explore why I would ever even choose to "be a dick" when I see something I don't agree with. Habits are hard to break, and I don't pretend like that isn't the case. If you have some personality quirk, like making excuses and feeling comfortable doing so, I'm going to attack it because nothing positive comes from getting good at a behavior like that. (This could be elaborated upon much more in depth and intelligently so don't hold me as too retarded for not expounding in my time now.) If that behavior and disposition bleeds over into my time and my experience, I'm even more pressed to voice something. Here's the kicker, I find this as being one of the most respectful things I can express towards a person. Rarely, quite rarely, is it my goal to just make someone feel bad, and I stress frequently that when that is my goal, you will know it. When you take my, habit, of pointing out negative personality traits, or weird views and bad ideas you may hold, it is your responsibility to handle it. I am willing to bet everything I have that you can't offer a kind of retort that would render my strategy hopelessly flawed or grounded in bad philosophy.
What I find is the biggest let down, is again, and yes I'm going to sound arrogant, pompous, etc., when I can't really care when I just report what happens. When my "hope" for someone turns into my playing with them because I saw something, let it slide, and thought they had another dimension that would be the prevailing promising personality. The people I like, and get along with, and I'll take for granted it's even remotely reciprocated, all have ways of thinking and behaving that, whether I like or not, still manage to reach a common ground with where my head is at. These people talk, they aren't quick to merely get angry and throw a fit, and most importantly, they have more thoughts about themselves than they do me. And this is how we relate. I don't get angry at someone who has the balls to bring up what they think about me or their thoughts on a situation. I do get angry when feelings and misconstrued mental minefields are created ready to go off with the slightest provocation. I won't tippy toe around you, and if you find this disrespectful, annoying, or me being a dick, you don't matter.
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Written
about 3 months ago · Comment · LikeUnlike
Ditch
the place and come to the east coast.
November
20, 2009 at 2:02pm ·
Well
said.
November
20, 2009 at 2:18pm ·
It
never ceases to amaze me how parallel our lifes seem to be.
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