Friday,
July 31, 2009 at 4:45am
So taking the advice from the book The Black Swan I'm writing out the negative event I experienced today to help me realize there was nothing I could really do to change what happened.
I went to Showplace to see a movie and hang with my old manager, and basically adopted mom, Lisa. It's Thursday, which basically means every manager is going to be there for building the movies and other manager duties. Note, my previous time going there, a discussion about my curly hair was brought up by my old manager. We exchanged comments and jokes, but it didn't seem to get too serious, and we generally joke on each other. So this next time, to my dismay and surprise, I was informed he went to the office and announced that "sideshow bob was here." Now, I can credit something funny, even on myself, and I'll give him his props. The next ten minutes involved me being called a hobo, and looking like I was from Woodstock. Okay, nothing actually bothers me about this. It's no secret that I throw the word "fuck" or a variation of it into about everything I say when not trying to sound remotely serious or articulate. Thusly, when I reply to such comments with "at least I have hair" and "grow some fuckin hair dude" I'm hardly trying to be insulting. I can accept that this may have been taken differently. Still worth remembering, I never once initiated a comment or discussion about hair (or lack thereof), and maintained a feeling of a joking cordial atmosphere the entire time. In fact, the majority of the time he spent kicking me out of the building I thought he was joking. Call me naive.
Ultimately, if hair is that touchy of a subject, it was beyond my control to fully appreciate that fact until things spilled over. If I came off openly disrespectful, that could have been questioned and discussed, and not used as an excuse to open up into a rage and make threats. I'm willing to apologize for how I came across, but I am not sure if it would really matter. Also worth noting, before I even directed my attention in his direction he was commenting on how my guests and I were getting ready to have ourselves thrown out for reasons I still can surmise. I'd understand if we were preventing work from being done, or being loud and vulgar with guests around (which I habitually look for when I hang out at the desk) but neither was the case. I've gotten the sense that this manager has been deeply upset or displeased with me for more than the surface reasons of an off comment or inscribing my initials on the booth floor. I don't quite know what this problem is, but it is beyond my control.
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Written
about 7 months ago · Comment · LikeUnlike
Maybe
it's not just you. Something major went down last weekend and I have
yet to find out what it was. You know there's always Showplace drama
and rumors and lately he's been on edge, although he does still find
time to joke even on his bad days. If it's really bothering you, why
don't you ask? You could always talk to Lisa about it, get her
opinion.
July
31, 2009 at 11:19am ·
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