There’s utility in being a cynic. You
don’t have to waste time playing pretend with the other children.
When you’re government is fucked, it’s easy to recognize that
it’s not in fact a democracy and there is little hope. When you see
how we handle foreign relationships, you don’t have to guess that
the impacts will be many and lingering. Before we get too far, it may
help to have George Carlin in your head as much of this is written
after a morning spent contemplating his prescriptions.
There is little I
disagree with when it comes to Carlin. I don’t think we’re going
to last. I think we’re addicted to things we don’t need that
don’t work and don’t matter. I think this is a circus where the
“happiest” amongst us look on in sheer wonder and awe at the kind
of display you couldn’t ask for if you tried. He observes and
reports, much of his act is memorization feats essentially word for
word the astounding dialogue of our times. I think we’re infinitely
selfish, in the bad way, and it’s all about squeezing whatever
little satisfaction we can out of everything and everyone,
consequences be damned. I think it’s every bit as bad as he states
if not worse and we are in the throes of our inevitable demise.
Yet, I’m unable to detach. Maybe it’s
because of my age or my wide-eyed naïve ideals. Maybe my definition
of “hope” is so small and penetrated that a goal becomes so
modest it’s barely a goal worth having. Sure, I want to let go and
ride it out and watch, but I think in particular with me, it would
have dramatically destructive consequences. Carlin can let go and
feel like he needs to talk. I’d let go and start saying “I don’t
see a reason not to.” But we’ve known for some time how and why I
keep myself in check.
I want to believe there is a not so
hidden genius in his method and advice to just detach. There’s
still some level of irony in not caring about anything “but.”
It’s a psychological necessity sometimes, sure, but it’s not the
only, or necessarily the best means by which people are happy or
found some level of contentedness. I think he knew that and that’s
why he kept getting on stage. I also think he knows that when you
reach rock bottom you start to figure things out in a different way.
Whether you need to drop off and not care or vehemently disagree with
him, you’re still going to end up in a more thoughtful and
attentive place, exercising that brain he believed we’ve all taken
for granted.
But let’s go back to being cynical.
Only when you cut out the bullshit are you capable of identifying and
addressing a situation for what it is. If you call it a problem,
you’ll know better how to fix it. If you call it a shit show,
you’ll know better where you want to sit. You’ll never catch me
seriously wondering what a god thinks about my sex habits or the
Reese’s I stole from Wal-Mart. I think you can easily assume that,
but more-so, I’d be completely useless to you. I wouldn’t even
accidentally come across something “new” or insightful or ever
make an awesome metaphor again. You didn’t come here for
bullshit…usually.
Because I haven’t just sat on my
rose-colored glasses and effectively threw them into a wood chipper,
I feel a sense of overall clarity even when attempting to explain my
confusion. At the very least, I’m not making it up. I’m not sad
or pissed off for no reason and likewise for when something
feels genuinely hopeful. Carlin talked of a phrase “when you
scratch a cynic you see a jaded idealist.” I think an intrinsic
property of being an idealist is an inability to let go of the ideas
you think will actually work. No real idealist gives up because they
are painfully stuck with a brain full of ideals. It’s a burden and
work. When it gets to be too much it seems to be a passive aggressive
taking of the reigns to describe how you’re going to just sit back
and watch it burn.
Carlin stated that he doesn’t even
know if he’d be the same kind of person if he started his career
today. With the kinds of technology and rapidly changing environment,
who’s to say his perspective wouldn’t have been carried a little
farther. When you saw something as a 20 year old in 1960 is not how I
saw something as a 20 year old because I got to see what you saw when
I was 15, plus 50 more examples and how and whether potential
solutions played out all over the world. I can’t so easily set into
“this is how it works” when I know how to change it and change it
quickly.
I think it’s the cynic that knows how
people think. They know what to say to make people think. They know
what you feel when your thoughts take you places, and they know how
you avoid them and what it would take to make you unable to avoid
them. I think people recognize that they need to be saved and can’t
do it themselves because they don’t have the correct language or
attitude. They’re too stressed, they’re too afraid, they’re at
the end of not just one horrible decision that has created a hole
where adopting an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude isn’t
enough. I think people say save me and the cynic says you
aren’t worthy. You are the problem. You are what you’re
afraid of. And who’s admitting that? Not without a smile and laugh,
that is.
We will live and die by our
superstitions, our allegiances to branding and the status quo. And
we’ll do it slowly using soft language and remaining “decent
enough” until our time runs out. This is convention and it’s why
I hate convention. It’s why I’m always asking why and asking YOU
why and wanting to know more. You may not care about the consequences
or want the short term fix, but I’m compelled to call-out a
junkie.
The nicest way I can put it is that I
want the species to last for me and mine. It’s sheer ego. I want my
kids happy and healthy. I want my friends recognized and admired for
what they are. I want the big human middle finger staring in
the empty abyss of space for as long as I can, and I want to know
that it’s mine. As far as I know, I’m the only kind of thing on
this planet that can appreciate what it’s flipping off. Anyone else
along for the ride is just circumstance. “They” can’t be fixed,
nor is “the world” broken. It’s every intention, good or bad,
and if you want yours to last, that's what needs to be accounted for.
