Sometimes I look at my life and say I’m
too lucky. I think the real problem is any time I look at it
and not feeling that initially. Don’t get me wrong, for the most
part I absolutely do, but sometimes it just sinks in deeper than I
know what to do with.
I’m stupid lucky. Everything about my
circumstance is a gift. I don’t really think I know what it means
to not feel indebted at this point. I don’t know if I’m ever
allowed to shut up about my friends. I don’t think I’ll ever be
able to convey the impact you have on my life. I’m a mere
reflection of the company I keep. I truly don’t know who I am
without the context of you.
I know people who
are willing to be honest to the point of alienating themselves. I
know people who are willing to give all of themselves to a moment
without a second thought. I know the value of honesty when people are
willing to be open with me about some shit going on in their life. I
get to take any and all strife from my life and reduce it to a spec
under the overall plan of the future I envision for me and my
friends.
The last three or so days has just laid
this down hard. I’m spending my time with the most amazing people I
could possibly know. I don’t know how I deserve it. I don’t know
why I’m allowed to have such positive thoughts about us or the
future. I don’t really understand what I’m supposed to do with
such circumstances.
I love you all and I don’t even
believe in the word love.
