[44] The All TOO TYPICAL Parasitic Christian Mind

1. I definitely believe the literal truth of the Bible.(Neven, this means that you have to kill me. If you don't know how often god kills people for being heretics and not believing in your faith then you haven't read the bible. You honestly believe the world was created in 6 days? I can't believe you think you should stone your devirginized wife either) I follow it word by it sure proof that it's the word of God.(There is a book called "Misquoting Jesus" that you should read. Man wrote the bible. Man makes mistakes and people have agendas, just because you say you believe something doesn't not prove ANYTHING.) The fulfilled prophecies, promises, how the Bible goes hand in hand with today's events happening in the world. I mean come on. (Neven, find me one prophecy that has been fulfilled word for word. There isn't one. The same things you call "fulfilled prophecy" now are just disasters that people tried to call fulfilled prophecy then. This doesn't make any sense at all.) There's a book out there called the "Evidence Bible" and it shows scientific(real scientists with faith and lack of faith) proof why the Bible is true in its words and how it correlates right back to God.(No one is god! No one can say they talk to god or claim to know ANYTHING about him if he existed.  Read a newspaper and a Bible. They go right with each other. It's almost scary.(The news is completely manipulated by corporations and people with agendas to keep you living in fear. Just because you read some biased bullshit article on the end of days or prophecy does not prove anything other than your gullible.)

2. I was brought up in a Christian home, but that doesn't mean I was Christian. I was young so the "God" thing really didn't catch my full attention. I decided to be a Christian on my own becuase I told myself I can be wrong about this.(So you believe out of fear? Better to believe and go to heaven than not and go to hell? That's a pretty shitty reason in my opinion. You love god so much that you obey out of fear. How strong your faith must be) Every Sunday I went to church, the truth and proven evidence flowed within the room.(What evidence! What do you call evidence? You can call anything evidence, but if it doesn't exist in the real world to be tested and proved, you don't make ANY sense) And that's when I realized that God is really real and Christ did die for me and took my punishment in my behalf so I wouldn't be guilty on the day of Judgment.(Neven, what are you guilty of? Original sin right? You are damned to burn forever because a person that never existed ate an apple? That doesn't sound a little fucked up to you? Don't you want to do something wrong first before your judged? God loves you so much that he lets a super powered demon beast fuck with your feeble human mind? that's not a kind of love I want and don't understand why you do. Who was god trying to impress when he had Christ killed? If he was Christ then god was judge, jury, and victim?  And that's how I became a Christian, and I'm happier than I ever been. I continue to be blessed and I know these are not mere concidences.(These? These what? What coincidence are you talking about? No, thinking is not a coincidence. Coming to random conclusions about the your fate based on NOTHING is creepy and confuses me.

3. I'm glad you ask this question. When you look at a building Nick, how do you know a builder build it. Well, because of the visible proof of the building. You know somebody hade to make it, build it, or whatever. (So you believe in visible proof? Then what does God look like?) When you look at a painting Nick, how do you know a painter painted it. Well, because of the visible proof of the painting proves the painter exists. Somebody had to paint it, it didn't paint itself. And the same with creation. The moon, stars, mountains, animals, oceans, us people. We are the proof that a Creator exist(God).(NO, you obviously know NOTHING about the nature of matter, quantum mechanics, or evolution. Hell look into metaphysics and think yourself so important "proof"? We didn't make ourselves by chance, we were created in God's image.(NOONE says we god here by CHANCE. Evolution is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF CHANCE. I don't know why you would ever say such a thing.  Everything has a maker.(If everything has a maker then what made your god? YOU DID. And if god was just always here then why can't the universe be called god? We don't know exactly how it got here either) A building has builder. A painting has a painter. And creation has a God. And you have a conscious Nick given to you by God so you will know right from wrong.(Wrong again, I have evolutionary reasons to have "right" and "wrong" everyone follows their own rules that semi fit in with some bigger set of IDEALS that NOONE really follows completely. If you weren't "good" growing up you wouldn't eat or even be able to live. If you were bad, especially with your mom, you'd get in trouble. It's called cause and effect, not god's inspired word. You can't say you don't have a conscious becuase every one has one.(I never said I didn't have a conscious, and some people conscious is not running by the same rules as yours. There are plenty of reasoned and logically thought out ideas that you would never agree with, and by the way, there being thought up and acted upon "for Christ." In Romans in the Bible, it says God has given light(a conscious) to every creature so they will know right from wrong. I don't need FAITH, MY PARENTS, AP PREACHER, THE BIBLE, CHRISTIAN LEADERS, OR ANYONE prove to me that God exist. All I need is eyes that can see and a mind that can reason and use common sense. Plus look at us Nick, we made with a design. Look at our eyes, hands.( Our eyes fall well short of "perfect" or best designed by god. There are animals living today that could see shit coming eons before we could. And MANY MANY parts of our bodies, the knees, eyes, prostate, appendix, and digestive system are just a few of the things that fuck up all the time and aren't as good as other animals.) They all made with purpose, not chance. Even Charles Darwin quoted that the eyeball can't be formed simply by natural selection, that it is impossible.(First off, have you read anything by Darwin, and what have you? Second Darwin was completely atheistic, I've read his books and about him so if you want to argue about people at least do your research first) So even Charles Darwin, the creator of the evolution idea, concluded by saying maybe God does exist(you can conclude this from the context clues, it's only evolution or there's a God, nothing else). That it makes sense. But every scientist loves to discard this quote. I wonder why.(Find me this quote, simple enough)

4. Previous pagan religions didn't really have Gods I think.(THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING YOU'VE SAID SO FAR. Paganism is what CHRISTIANITY IS BASED OFF OF. The same things you say about Jesus or the bible is what was said about the pagan gods. The virgin birth, the resurrection, the visits from wise men etc. Look up the old gods of Mithra and Dionysus if you only want 2 of the god's who had Jesus' story before he was born.) They thought they're gods were useless.(They thought their god's were responsible for EVERYTHING. How could someone ever create a god and think that it was useless? That doesn't make any sense and I can't even argue with you here until you read even one book on what paganism even was.) They grow on more individuality and their own spiritual growth rather than believing in a good vs. evil.

5. I have never in my life have read those books. Quite honeslty, I don't think I want to. I think you should stop picking up those crazy books that think they know about God, and they don't.(Never, no one knows about your personal "god" of whatever the hell you want to call it. these books don't argue god. They talk about history, they talk about all the wars and fighting and bullshit that reigns in the name of a deity that is supposed to be all forgiving, loving, and peaceful. The are biology book sand ..aries about who wrote the bible, where it came from, and why the version we have today is nothing like what it would have been originally.)  Their opinions are coming out of their butts(some claim they used to know God, and now they don't, I don't buy it. (Their FACTS are coming from evidence, looking at the real world and saying what IS HAPPENING today and what has happened in the past. There people read more books and study more things than you and I can even fathom at our ages. They have doctorates in biology, philosophy, they graduste from Oxford and Harvard. They want to learn, and more importantly they want to see change and a better world not filled with violence over and idea that NOONE CAN PROVE. To me, they're not trying to learn, they just trying to convince people its easier to not believe in something) and my opinions are coming from actual experiences.(What experiences? Of course its easier to just accept "all the answers," but I'm sorry I'm not five anymore and I can't just believe something because someone said so. I don't trust people, I don't know why you do. If you lived in an Isamic nation you would say the same things about that religion as you would Christianity. If you don't think any of your mind has been formed by your manipulative mom or upbringing your wrong. People are "designed" by evolution to listen to authority in order to survive. They aren't supposed to be controlled by some subjective idealist that is pushing their own agenda.  Read the Bible, not those crazy books. (I've read the bible, there is nothing more dangerous or telling of human nature that I could ever read.) Only thing they are doing is shrouding your mind. Your are a smart man and are smarter than those books to make your own decison about God.

6. The world without religion would be chaos.(That is utterly ridiculous. If people focused on just loving and living instead of pushing "god's agenda" there would still be violence and hatred, but there would be more people feeling guilty and less likely to do things they have to feel responsible for. If the world would be in chaos how would we ever get started before "religion" was ever a thing people worried about? Why aren't the prisons filled with atheists and agnostics? They aren't so don't even try to tell me they are, another area I've read into. What do you have to say about the Inquisition if you want to talk about chaos? Crime rates would be up. People would be stealing frequently and getting away with it. And no God, there would be no guidance. (If I don't believe and am not stealing all the time and being the unguided unreligious person how do you explain me? The devil made me read and get smarter? The devil makes me love nikki and my family?  We would be a bee hive with no queen bee. I don't even want to imagine a world without religion. That's too risky. (This just shows you how your environment as taught you to be afraid)

7. I get my morals from my conscious that God has given me and you Nick. You might say how do I know morals weren't learned from society.(they were, I don't realize if you knew, but the bible advocated slavery. If you believe in the literal word you would think slavery and raping concubines and other's wives is ok. And if you don't believe in those parts of the bible and you cherry pick it like everyone else, by what standard are you choosing certain parts of "god's" word? You can't tell me you listening to "god" to only hear other parts of "god." Well imagine yourself in a courtroom, a criminal kills his wife, sister mother, and father. The reason he said he killed them was becuase he wasn't taught morals from society. And the judge lets him go because of it. This would be ridiculous. You know darn well he knows murder is wrong. Why does he know it? It's because of his conscious.(He knows murder is wrong because its going to get him killed right back. Some people can kill. They can kill even easier when they don't feel like their the one's doing it. If its done for god, quoted from the bible, they can be a happy murderer. Without religion you would have good people doing good things and bad people doing bad things, for good people to do bad things, that takes religion.)

8. If I converted to another religion, I don't think my parents would care that much (So your parents wouldn't care about your eternal soul that much, oooookkkkkayyyyy.). They would be upset, but they know it's my choice. It's like saying if I wanted to be gay. They know the moral thing is to be straight in our society.(How is it moral to be straight? Your telling me you don't know ANY moral gay people? Your gonna be in shock when you get to college. Its also studied biologically and backd by evidence the reasons that people can't choose to be gay and just are. Maybe something else you should read about) But what can they do. It be like my parents having a cure or medicine for me which is Christianity to heal my sickness. And I don't want it for some reason. (So one day when your dying of cancer you want a prayer circle instead of kemo therapy?)  They can make me take it. You see where I'm kinda going with this?

9. Extremists in Christianity has nothing to do with Christianity. (Neven, how can you possibly say that? If people are doing bad things in the name of Christ what sense does it make to say they have nothing to do with Christianity? They have everything to do with it. they have the scary aspect, the main reason I fear and hate people who don't look before they leap. There are people that are willing to blow up the country in order to fill some bullshit prophecy. Here's an idea, lets know what the prophecy is supposed to be and then be surprised when purposely act to make it come true. I predict I'll save this convo, god told me so, wait and see if it happens.) There are two different kind of Christians.(NO there are Christians that live in dogma that they ignore and don't think about, and there are Christians that do literally acts because they interpret one thing or another to make them do "good" and "bad" things. The ones that come to you in love and try to share their faith with you without disrespect. The other kind is the "so-called"(keyword) Christians that want your money and stand up on buildings and say "Your'e going to hell", "Jesus is better than beer", "Turn or burn". This is not God's will.(This is exactly god's will, have you ever read the old testament? Nothing has killed, been more racists, anti-Semitic, misogynistic, narcissistic, or angry than Yahweh   Jesus didn't do this when sharing his faith. In the Bible, it says we Christians are in the midst of, meaning we are mixed with hypocrites, and people who say they do good things and but don't. You see, on the day of Judgment, God is going to sort them all out from the righteous and unrighteous. And the people, who say"Turn or burn", they are going to be the ones headed far south. No one is responsible for these extremists. Well, except the Devil. (The fucking devil is not responsible for ANYTHING. THAT IS A COMPLETE COP OUT. When someone can't take the responsibility for their own dirty hands they blame either god or the devil. When they can't understand something they blame god or the devil. When they get lazy and don't care to think about what or are scared of what the answers may be they blame god or the devil. If you try to say the devil does anything your are scared of taking responsibility, even part of the responsibility, for the terrible things that people do in the name of your shared faith. The extremists are ultimately responsible for the extremists, you and I are responsible for the extremist. We will be the ones to make them stop and try to work in the word of actual proof and reason. Fuck the devil. If you think he has ever influenced you or is influencing you or the world around you then I'm at a loss for what else to really say to you...:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

[43] Can You Believe It

Can you believe it?

I find when people say "I respect what you believe, but I don't agree with you" they have no idea what their talking about. I believe in:

I believe in Life, Love, and Happiness.

I believe in Freedom of expression.

I believe in Knowledge, provable facts, and evidence.

I believe in an open mind.

I believe people need to remedy denial, delusion, and dogma.

I believe in PEACE.

That is all, if you respect and don't agree with that then I don't understand you, nor care to. Maybe you don't know about how the brain works, and that's ok for now, but I'm making it my burden to inform people about how and why they think they know everything. It kills me too how people can read only one rant blog and think they have my position solidified in their minds. Good job "summing up the facts and taking for granted." It's too typical.

My head incessantly hurts when I don't understand something. I'm suffering from trying to empathize with a person who can know what I know, believe in their religion, and be comfortable with the denial of facts and outright contradiction that now defines their existence. Those "moderate Christians" that have formed their own religion of hand sitting in the face of action and screaming "respect" when bombarded with probing questions. I can't do it, don't keep trying.

I fuck up all the time. Give me a task and rest assured before I can do it perfectly and consistently, even if its easy and "under my belt" I will screw it up at least once. I can admit it and take the heat. I'm not afraid to be wrong and in fact, depressingly enough, almost always expect it. 9 times out of 10 when I hear some authoritative figure call my name at work or school I automatically assume I'm wrong or in trouble. Now I don't always want to feel wrong or like I mess up, but that's reality. When you investigate, when you realize, and when you question why your wrong you can learn how to prevent freaking out or getting upset when something happens. This kind of mindset needs to be adopted by those who are afraid of what will happen if they started to disbelieve. One of understanding and growth, NOT damnation. If God wanted you to ignore fact and evidence, throw away this life in hopes for the next, why the hell did he arm you with brains that can only operate on what you logically deduce and learn and perceive here and now. That has got to be one of the most important things you need to know about how your brain works. You literally are what dreams are made of. You are capable of thinking and doing sooo sooo much with information it is scary.

I like to learn. When I read books its not so I can find more things to "bash" religion, I simply learn why they came to be, how the nervous system operates, facts about other religions, and all the evidence that science has found to suggest, more outright disprove, things that are widely accepted and comfortable to swallow. That's why I get angry when I talk to people who believe in literal interpretations of text, or that the word is "inspired". They believe in parts, and always the parts that further their own ideals and worldview, that don't have any credibility until thought credible before the parts were seen. You are not a product of god, you are the mental and physical representation of what you can perceive at any instant. Your brain doesn't allow for any "belief" that isn't in the shadow or better represented by something deeper, more clear, and more consistent. The matter that you consist of is always moving and ever changing. There, in a sense, is no "you."

I always wonder why, when its too easy to do, we can draw parallels with the bible's god and a human. I mean humans say the same things and use the same manipulative techniques today that the bible is famous for using as "perfectly inspired." Defensive and petty statements that are nothing of how you'd want a god to act. I mean the second I hear of a jealous god I'm beyond confused. What could ANY representation of a perfect all knowing and lovable character EVER have to be jealous about let alone feel the need to tell anyone about it. It really is just that simple sometimes. The bible needs to be on the shelves next to the Iliad and characters like Yahweh and Satan need to be retired like Zeus and Dionysus.

You think what people believe isn't hurting you. You live in an age where people are blowing themselves up on buses and crashing planes into buildings. Blind faith and misguided, misconstrued information can be spread like wildfire with the internet and news. When your president thinks it's the beginning of the end of days your friends and family get to die in Iraq. When North Korea and Islamic factions think the pure filth that is the West and "Christians" are unworthy and taking over and their chosen time has come, you get nuked. There is NO TIME left for being lazy, "respectful", and tolerant. I'm tired of it and YOU SHOULD BE TOO. I know already that if your reading this your not blowing people up, others of your faith are, or are willing to die and take others with them. I know you may not know all the facts and reason I have to be so blunt and angry. Here's an opportunity to learn and gain perspective. If your not talking, if your not angry, if you don't do the basic things even a dirty hippie can pull off, I have ZERO respect or tolerance for you. I will not care about your feelings, I will not subject myself to your contradictory dogma, and I will not fear coming off as pampas or arrogant. If that comes with living in the real world, being an individual, and spreading truth so be it.

If you think errant facts need to be preserved for you to carry on living, your lying. If you think the bad things that happen because of faith are because people aren't doing it "correctly," your lying. If you think sitting in your fear bubble and the world views from the rest of humanity are helpless to pop it, your hastening your already eminent death.

[42] Before Ee Even Get StarTED

"Imagine all the people, living for today."

That song has been embedded in my head and is my recommendation for the future world anthem. You'd be too quick to say that I hate religion and fear or resent god or w/e else that first pops into your head when I try to discuss your "faith." After watching License to Wed, of all movies, I realized how badly people need to fully appreciate where someone is coming from before they can even begin to understand and think about what's being said. For me a better statement would be that I hate the countless negative things done in the name of Jesus or a god. I hate when people "justify" blissful ignorance in the face of factual knowledge. I hate seeing defensive stances taken in an area of your life that should mean so much more to you than something to fight for instead of express.

The truth is, I don't care at all if you believe. If it "makes you a better person," "adds meaning to your life," and "isn't harming anybody" then go for it. A church go-er can walk in and see all the people in the choir who "love to praise Jesus." They look around at all the heads nodded in "prayer." They "ask for forgiveness" and get blessed. I can't do that. I see people who simply like to sing and appreciate the musical energy. I see people huddled over mimicking what their parents taught them, behaving respectfully, and wishing really hard. I watch people as they give up after exhaustively pointless attempts to justify their guilty deeds and thoughts.

I will never feel intimidated or scared of your god or knowledge of the gospels. Don't look for me if you want to argue with bible quotes, miracles, or nice people stories. If you don't  see how easily I can argue the bible with the bible, find plausible scientific explanations for the miracles, and tell you just as many bad people stories your fooling yourself. All I ever ask for people is to be honest. The same kind of honest that made me rant for countless hours about "love." Honesty that accounts for 20 or so depressed and pissed off blogs. REAL TRUTH that pushes you to get informed, most assuredly stress out, and ultimately achieve real happiness. That thing that keeps your heart steady and your head on when your faced with something you don't yet understand. The lack of understanding pill is the hardest to swallow and takes the longest to digest, but the rewards are so insurmountable later you won't regret the side effects.

You must always remember I won't try to fight "your god" because if I try we both already know I'm wrong your right and I'm destined to "lose." If you justify your accusations and beliefs in ignorance, or better said, "on faith" I won't bother to argue and will only suggest certain books or documentaries I can all but assume you won't read or watch. The ultimate paradox will always remain however, though we think we know so much, at the same time we really don't know anything. If you don't at least settle, better yet, begin to question, the ground in your own mind how much bigger are you making the problem? Where is the advice your giving really coming from? What message are you actually trying to preach? Sure, its simple to agree on the basics, you know, peace, love, yada yada, but what hat happens when we hit the details? Instead of arguing semantics why can't we just simply agree on those simple things of peace, love, and yada yada and stop there. Your religion is not your spirituality and especially not your individual nature. I don't care to, nor try to, "attack" you. I look to explain what you believe. Moreover I look for you to explain and understand what you believe. If you don't think that's where I'm coming from, that's on you, just don't expect anything out of me that I wouldn't award anyone else with a contently closed mind. If you'll never see me as anything but some "hateful atheist" or "religion attacker" and my opinions or better yet, proven facts, just will never matter, the very least I would hope for you to take from me are some questions you can ask yourself. Alone and quietly in your bedroom perhaps at four in the morning when no one can judge you. Light a candle, put on some Jack Johnson, sit back and just ask. I don't know what will happen. Simply ask. Don't get angry, don't give up, and don't be afraid of your answers.

[41] Can A Nigga Get An Amen?

Can a nigga get an AMEN?

Finished "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. Basically amazing. I really don't care if your up your Christian faith's ass or not its one to read and think about. What people don't seem to get, if you accept something as a fact, because it is proven as a fact, doesn't mean that you've automatically denied something else. (Maybe not the case for Mr. Dawkins as the atheist pope but….) This is something starting to piss me the fuck off when I try to talk to anyone about their "faith." They believe in belief to such an extent that simply hinting to the side that proves them wrong sends a childlike paroxysm my way. This is fucking ridiculous. If you have all the answers tightly wrapped in the bible and you KNOW everything then how can you contain yourself when an opportunity presents itself to shut me up? Just because you haven't been presented with the right facts or asked yourself the right questions doesn't mean you have any room to start on some tangent of assumed claims somehow construed as your "reasoning and logic" proving you right. How many playground fights do I have to run into before someone is ready to just fucking sit, listen, and discuss?

I said before that a reaction with "the truth" so much less telling than your actual expression of actual truth. And that is such a true statement I don't even know what to pick apart first. I say something about the un-originality of Jesus' story and about how many Christian norms are evolved from pagan rituals. Basic level arguing points to me, mind you. In retort I get "God is great, I'm saved!, why are you attacking my beliefs!?, Your going to hell!" and all of a sudden all I see is some insecure child throwing a temper tantrum. I'm sure as hell not stunned by your magnificent version of god that makes you such a great soldier, full of peace and love.

I personally have never said nor can faithfully say "I don't believe in god." To me, it would be the same thing as saying that I don't believe in orbiting teapots or the flying spaghetti monster. Whether some things exist or don't its not my place or within my capabilities to make claims. This is the same case FOR EVERYONE. Belief in something because it can't be disproved is desperate and fucking retarded.

Literally, with every ounce of pissed off connotation behind it can you ever express, how dare you tell someone they are going to hell. I've talked about how much I hate mental abuse. Though that was in relationships the same effect applies to anyone with a mind weak enough to take it. Convince someone that they will endure everlasting hellfire and wah lah no shit a new "believer" is strapped and ready. This is especially deplorable when it happens to children. Dawkins makes the point over and over throughout the book. Indoctrinating children is plain terrible. To label someone so young and incapable of contemplating religion and their place in the world as Christian or Muslim children instead of child of Christian/Muslims parents is where he wants people to cringe. Doesn't that show how weak religion really is though? It deliberately goes for people who are fed up with or incapable of really thinking for its arsenal. Don't you wish you could be all you can be?

Its really sad because I just kinda started hanging with this girl who is entirely, and quite frustratingly, self defeatist. The too frequently typical story of hard upbringing, messed up parents, whatever else. Then all of a sudden she "found Christ" yada yada the story goes on as expected. If there is a more picture perfect example of crawling into a hole, trying to change the subject, outright fear and resentment when the word religion is even said I challenge you. In order for me to call someone a friend I need honesty, trust, and talks. I don't try to shatter your view on life because I get a feeling of conquest, but only because I respect what it is to be human and wish you would do the same. I also was talking with this guy who I work with as well. He had such a hysterically horrible story I have to retell it.

One day he's driving with his friend. She says something so stupid or arrogant about God that he chooses to test her. He starts to speed. Taking his hands off the wheel she starts to freak out and ask what he's doing. Faster and faster he goes. She starts getting hysterical, yelling at him to stop. He starts to slow the car and put his hands back on the wheel. She starts to cry and wants to be taken home. He sardonically asks, "Where is your God?" I was like daaaaamn when I heard this story, and though its pretty fucked up it was a harsh way that hopefully at least made someone see through their own bullshit.

            I want people to put themselves in my position or at least allow me enough of themselves so I can understand theirs. Do I understand that when your life feels threatened and Jesus comes along with promises of perfection, love, and happiness your compelled to fight, quite ferociously, to protect that? Yes. Do I understand that we don't know everything and no "little scientist" is ever going to disprove god? Duh. Is it understood that some people can't imagine their lives as anything meaningful or worthwhile unless their on their knees and brought to tears? Unfortunately, again yes. This is the most tragic of the realizations when pondering religion. It is a fact that if you can't fill that void that some people will freak out and act irresponsibly. You also need to remember they probably won't do anything more or less than someone who was doing the same in the name of god
 

            I can sympathize with not being able to satisfy that "love" urge. I can discuss what it feels like to be alone. I know how fucked up you can get when your so confused you can't even rant coherently. I understand the wave of thoughts that can overwhelm you when depression sets in. NEVER has a simple promise of heaven and eternal life and love made any of that less compelling or more easily deniable. I will always believe that people can lie about their faith, but never be able to lie to themselves. That pinch of doubt you feel or have at any one time felt won't go away no matter how many bible verses you throw at me, proclamations of being saved, or condemnations of peoples' actions. I bet my reasons for staying content and finding happiness, because they can't be based on a "because," will provide an actually peaceful foundation on which to express myself. 

            This is what people believe. They will be sort of good to people they kinda like and relate to their entire life. They can, more or less, frequent church and "pray" about the lottery ticket they've yet to win or relative that needs a cure. One "miracle" will happen in their family that will all but solidify god's existence.(who needs to acknowledge non sequitur reasoning anyway) They will profess their undying love for Christ to those feeble non-believers and feel "fulfilled" knowing god's ego is satisfied making them saved. When they die, as long as its not slow and agonizing, it will be with uneasy "pride" and those few indiscretions they maybe forgot about will be forgiven anyway. For the rest of eternity they get play with their new super powers and dance across the universe. This is what people believe.

It's not an accident that the churches don't teach the history of their religion, or any facts about other religions. It's about dominance not tolerance. Its about "right" and "wrong" instead of relativity and exploration, truth in your heart of hearts. People don't know the real facts about their beliefs because they don't want to know, they don't feel they can handle knowing, their family and friends will black list them and get anxious. FEAR. You are being controlled at any one point in time by something because deep down at some evolutionary level you are AFRAID. No one really cares that their child might be sitting next to a Muslim child in class despite the fact their so-subscribed religions would tell them to kill or disregard the others existence as a person.

IT. IS. NOT. YOUR. FAITH. YOU ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU RELATE TO OR BELIEVE A MERE STORY YOU GOT USED TO GROWING UP. YOU ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN BECAUSE YOU ARE COMFORTABLE GOOD AT GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS. YOU ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN BECAUSE ALL YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS WANT YOU TO BE. YOU ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN BECAUSE YOU'VE DECIDED TO STAY IGNORANT ABOUT WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO BE A CHRISTIAN.

You believe in a story that's easiest to swallow. You believe in what makes you feel, too falsely, powerful. You believe that exhaustion of thought and reason is where your comfort lies.  Its bullshit, fucking bullshit. Try to handle all the pain and guilt your responsible for self inflicting and see how quickly the grand details behind your heaven pile up. See how quickly people go from just being wrong to being wrong and going to hell. See if you show up more and sit up a little straighter in church when what's really being asked of you starts to sink in. This isn't the fucking holy spirit "working through you." This is your subconscious gripped by fear, say hello. This is that one sentence, that one idea, the random thought that crept in and said "how could god…." or "I can't believe…." Your desperate attempts at maybe trying harder or working more never truly quiet your restless mind. Nor do they justify any bullshit action you take because you don't know enough about yourself to take care of yourself. Your errant 'reasoning' and 'work' for the 'lord' wall you into a room of invisible barriers.

You don't need a guide book and you don't really wonder where morals come from. Punching fuckers in the face is harmful to your self preservation. Killing your parents would've cut off the food supply. Stealing friends girlfriend loses your ride to school. Cause and effect keeping you in line? Nah.You can't say that life isn't worth it unless god is pulling the strings. Unless your crazy ass is Michael Fritzius your kids will be more than enough purpose to live and die for. God forbid learning and understanding be enough to satisfy you either. How dare you try to love and be there for someone without doing it as a Christian. You'd have to be a monster or something to think what you feel is valid. You don't think heaven is up there and hell is down there because they just are, you just don't care to discuss the relativity of down and up and the uselessness of them in space. We are sooooo important because god gave us the earth that didn't explode from a marble and didn't have to be inherently improbable before we got here, and didn't take an incomprehensible amount of time and energy to form.. In fact, if the odds were 1 in a billion that the earth would exist. There would still be A BILLION earths that could inhabit our universe. You think your so important. That your worthy and dare I say capable of knowing the unknowable. To me, your ignorance and arrogance are sickening.