Tuesday,
May 27, 2008 at 4:22am
Are
we really that far up our own asses? Yes.
I laughed
hysterically at a picture of a starving child in Africa being
overlooked by a crow with the caption “Patience, good things come
to those who wait.” What I’m trying to illustrate with that
example is how little we give a shit about our fellow man. You can
infer as to how this would apply to the majority of the religious,
but that’s not really my focus at this point. I watched this
absolutely badass documentary on apes regarding how smart they are
and in what ways they learn. Given that I am not in denial about our
origins, I couldn’t help but see how deeply the consequences of
their less developed faculties still ran among us. One researcher
noted that the difference between manslaughter and murder is intent,
which is something that apes can recognize. Unfortunately, the
problem for apes is that they do not appear to be thinking about what
is going on in any other apes head than their own; from which follows
cooperation problems and behavioral issues. Dog’s can understand
your intent by pointing in a certain direction for their lost toy,
apes can’t. It seems apparent to me that though we have learned to
cooperate enough to “advance” as far as we have, we have yet to
shake our heritage of me and mine. What makes us so much worse is
that we can reflect and dwell on how we are to realize our desires.
We’re naturally selected to be mind readers, which means our power
can and is turned inward against us. Does everyone fall slave to the
plagues of serious introspection? Almost certainly.
I can
hold what would seem to be two conflicting and opposite ideas about
myself. At any given time I know what I’m capable of be it being
the nicest most helpful person in the room, and also the guy who
would barely hesitate before shooting someone like Dinesh D’Souza
in the face. How do I balance? By trying to make choices that lead me
towards laughter and fun. I truly and honestly feel like I have
enough pent up whatever mess to snap in a situation appropriate, but
ultimately it is more likely to translate into less fun. I don’t
think, hell, I’m very very sure many people do not think like I do.
I can’t seem to talk to anybody without them feeling like I’m
trying to get “philosophical” and deep with them. This I don’t
understand. Yes, I think, write, read, and watch a lot of things, but
does that mean we should just tone that down and concentrate on how
to make a banal conversation about Souja Boy or math class keep a
flow of “normality?” It really bugs me that I have hundreds of
“friends” on facebook and myspace and have come across maybe four
or five people who have sort of “ranted” for maybe a few weeks.
The best I get now is my RA’s daily update about his activities in
Texas. I want to know if people have strong opinions they wish to
talk about, or if that many lights are on with no one home. If they
do in fact have it in them to write for, what was it like 7 hours one
of my blogs took me, then what’s stopping them? If I’m thinking
too much it’s all I can do to just write and see where it takes me
in order to get rid of a headache, no joke. Maybe one thing holding
them back is all the “normal” responses they get when someone
reads their work. I talk to enough people who can bitch about their
lives with little prompting, and when I find their digression in a
blog, what do their friends have to tell them? “Hang in there, life
is full of stuff like this.” “Wow, that sucks, hope things turn
out ok.” “You’ve always got a friend right here to pump you
full of positive words you’ve heard a thousand times before.”
“Man that’s soooo deep.” I do not feel like this helps
anybody.
Perhaps the way to make any real sort of progress
with our capacity to read minds and work together, we need to be
honest about what were thinking about, and secure with what we’re
capable of. When a certain someone had issues with dickhead
boyfriend, though granted this is a common phenomenon, who was the
asshole that said just how fucked up the situation was and stood
against abuse, manipulation, and guilt? Right here buddies. And for
those cold blooded enough to think about my craziness for the girl as
motivation can basically lick my balls as I have said, and will
continue to say, the same things to any girl or guy who’s dealing
with such a common sense problems. Does everyone have to actually be
in the situation to truly
know
why it’s different and why we should “respect” the decisions
being made? HELL NO. Why would we develop the capacity for empathy
and understanding if we’re going to throw it in the dirt when a
problem easily fixed by exercising it can be alleviated? Why did I
just give up and tell my friend to go ahead with his plan to convince
his girlfriend that Ex and her could co-exist peacefully? Because I’m
well aware that people will let you down and not everyone can handle
my way of thinking. I just said fuck it because I was essentially
forced to “respect” the other fully capable and radically free
human being’s decision. This is a serious point to take note of,
this is where the power is expressed, but not where you are looking
for it. We exert our intentions against everyone else’s, yet as in
a tragic comedy, the ridiculousness of our attempt plays out in a
contradiction. We are our own keepers and shepherds who allow
ourselves a rut of complacency when things aren’t panning out the
way we feel they should. As much as I would like to feel “my words”
actively change anything in anybody, I know they are the ones doing
any convincing. Developing the capacity to recognize an illusion of
“comunity” or “for the common good,” some formula existing
independent of our thoughts, is what helped drive our minds to the
level they’re at today. While we are constantly one part in a
billion that contributes to some problem flirting with ending our
civilization, we can’t seem to agree on anything, absolutely
anything, to hold up as the Human Agenda from which our progress can
be judged. Is this because it doesn’t exist or just too
misunderstood for us to start defining?
I want fun and
happiness, others want justice and due process, and others still want
love, mischief, capitalization, greed, fairness, etc. We believe
there is this human ideal or human capacity that makes us special,
and indeed there is. The ability to have this belief alone. I’ve
talked about how dominating fear is upon our species, and why
wouldn’t it be? When people don’t feel justified, or loved, or
fulfilled are they not expected to be afraid of what the future may
hold? Not everyone will curl up into a little ball and rock back and
forth, but would drugs and alcohol be so prevalent if they didn’t
take your mind off your interminable thoughts and feelings? Would
people resort to violence if they didn’t think about what the other
guy thought about what they may be thinking? I would argue that many
people can’t handle it, nor know how to express it. Let’s
disappear into the dream life of popularity perhaps, where I am just
playing a humble part, no need to contemplate my actions, no room for
me to express my abject feelings. This is why I feel that humanity is
ultimately a doomed race. We have self conditioned ourselves to the
illusion of order and intention, where none exists, and it is flatly
depressing. Take that look back in time at our relatives who are
focused on the treat, will learn how to get the treat, then may punch
you in the face. Our capacity for self control is our placebo of
security. It has become our goal to refine that capacity, if only
because it is the only thing we can all truly agree on. Religion
anyone?
So what would be something better for which to
satisfy the craving of the frontal lobe? My vote goes for the only
thing that has ever brought me down to a manageable level, overriding
the waves of feelings, and motivating my will to write in futility.
Knowledge. When we become scientifically passionate we will be able
to find better answers if only because they exist independent of
ourselves alone. Getting to “know god” can begin to feel like the
backwater remedy for solving a problem that it is. When polled, there
were only 2 people that raised their hand in my ethics class that
would give up their intellectual pleasures at the prospect of mind
blowing sexual ecstasy. If this doesn’t speak to the failings of
physically aesthetic indulgence, I’m not sure what does. Shooting
for romantic love allows you to put your ::cough:: mind in a tight
and warm place, which I think says more about our intentions than the
person we claim to be in love with.
I want people to
understand that when I say I know where they’re coming from, I
really think I do, and still maintain my answers and arguments of
which I’m happy to elaborate on or perhaps, through conversation,
find more clarity about. There are a million and one self help books
and new age remedies popping up alongside the old time religion, but
do any of them truly understand you, The Individual? Self help
blatantly shoots itself in the foot because it really is about
helping yourself. Helping yourself to the wealth of knowledge that
you can find just by thinking, reading, and writing. I never say
something like “put my ideas on a wall as the law of the land in
order to bring about what this race really needs” because I’m
honest about how far, why, and who my blogs will or won’t resonate
with. And please understand that when I say honest, I mean honest as
it pertains to my head. It isn’t “honestly, if you follow my
advice everything will be okay….” so not my bag to take on the
scrutiny of turning out horribly wrong. At least you don’t have to
burn in hell if you disagree with me right? ;)
Updated
about 6 months ago
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Billy
Bowman
(Bloomington, IN) wroteat
4:39pm on May 27th, 2008
Got to tell
you nick, it was more difficult to follow along your ramblings
then usual, but i think i caught the underlying message..
I've
never considered just HOW selfish human nature was, mind you
i've always known humans are quite centered around themselves.
I've thought before about society and all the many broken
systems we have and find myself thinking that, on a smaller
scale, societies and civilizations work much better, and have
fewer.. consequences, i'll say, then on the scales of such
today (ie 300 million in the U.S as opposed to say (a rough
guess) 50,000 of ancient Greece. Even smaller scales, small
rural cities of today of say 2000 seem to work even better. I
speculate, in light of what you've brought up, this could be
because there are fewer people besides yourself to think about.
There's enough people to keep yourself entertained and fed etc.
etc. without the need to think about the needs and wants of too
many other people. On the national scale on the other hand. |
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Billy
Bowman
(Bloomington, IN) wroteat
4:45pm on May 27th, 2008
..There's
simply too many people with too many different needs and wants
to keep everybody happy, because everybody is putting what THEY
want first and fuck anybody else. Constantly people try to come
to agreements and middle ground but its against out very
nature, and we seek to get what we want even after making
agreement, inevitably fucking ourselves and others because we
made a deal we didn't really want to make..
As far as
seeking knowledge goes i think it's a FANTASTIC idea, and it's
probably been proposed before, is likely the only reason
civilization as such has lasted as long as it has, and the
reason it's advanced the way it did. That being said, as many
of us that our out there seeking knowledge there seem to be 10
times as many seeking all the other pleasures of life..
I'm
really not sure where i'm going here but i feel inspired so
i'll keep writing.
While i do agree on the whole that people
are selfish, i can't help disagreeing with you in such that not
everyone is... |
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Billy
Bowman
(Bloomington, IN) wroteat
4:50pm on May 27th, 2008
..completely
so at anyrate. Perhaps some people are more evolved if you
will, their minds more developed for whatever reason, or maybe
other minds are simply less developed (which i wouldn't be
surprised to find at the rate we pump ourselves full of
thousands upon thousands of chemicals etc.. etc..). Anyway, i
have to admit sometimes i feel like doing nice things for other
people for no reason at all. Of course sometimes i feel like
doing mean things for no reason at all so i suppose it could be
a selfish impulse after all, but it does make me wonder.. maybe
we're gradually starting to be less selfish (definitely not on
the whole.. as a whole i would say people are more selfish then
ever... or maybe it's more acceptable to show it now a days.. o
i don't know)
well i completely lost my train of thought,
and i'm hungry, so until your next rambling..
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Nick
P.
wroteat
11:36pm on May 27th, 2008
the times i
seem to make the most sense to myself, things turn out harder
to follow. My bad Mr. Bowman |
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Billy
Bowman
(Bloomington, IN) wroteat
6:24am on May 28th, 2008
Haha.. it's
not your fault, if i wrote half as much as you about what i
think about all the time, it wouldn't even be half as coherent.
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