I'm sure half of this headache is
sitting in my car for the last eleven and a half hours, and half the
stupid “conversation” I got into, but I'm still hoping to feel
better after explaining it anyway.
All at once. My body reacts all at once to people or phrases or conversations. A dozen lines of what's “wrong” or “right” flood my head, and I mostly react with a scowl, chuckle, or blank expression (meant to convey I'm about to explode). It's exciting and anxiety inducing and altogether hopeless.
Someone complains about delivering food across town. It's a complaint I've made to some degree before. I was written off, “politely handled,” and then ignored. So a new person brings up the complaint, I offer a comment that was tantamount to the same one I got. “We're going to look into this to make sure we know how to fix it right.”
First, his problem is a simple one. If you spent 30-40 minutes on the road and are dependent on the goodwill and tip of your customer, often you're coming back to the kitchen having made $4.50. A scoundrel's rate if there ever was one. You're missing out on the orders building, you're getting a line of cars now being added to the queue to keep up to contend with, and every minute you're out on the road is one where you could be hit, pop a tire, or be subjected to the problems of what are generally poor condition cars.
I chime in, yes, like an idiot. I tell him that I've grown resolved to viewing this job like all jobs. We're “independent contractors,” after all, so we have no expectation of a reliable wage. The company didn't want to worry about health or car insurance, why would they be that sympathetic to your gas and time? There's a line around the block for other poor people who are happy to lap up what the company is serving. Keep in mind, customers think they're tipping you, but it's actually helping the kitchen not have to pay you as much. My, purely speculative, suspicion is that if you get out of line or start to disappoint as a driver, they tweak the program to discourage you from working with them further as “being annoying” isn't cause enough to simply fire you, like they've done to the last people of any influence who whispered about paying drivers more. It's not like we could form a union and compel higher wages.
Do you think I got a good response to that? Because the answer is no. Instead of taking the ideas away that, “Huh, you know what? Why don't we try for a union!?” or perhaps, “It was shady they got fired or shipped away!” or, “Why don't they just actually pay us out our tips the customers think they're paying?” or, “A pooled insurance or gas incentive would help out a lot!” Nope, I get, “Wait, 5 minutes ago you were on my side, and now you think they're actively trying to discourage me?” You know, because if you didn't zero in on the speculation, why would I bother speaking?
I informed him we're on the same side, said it was a losing one, and then asked him how he'd like me to help after he said “with that attitude” of course we're on the losing one. He didn't respond.
The real problem, more of course, isn't that you can get stuck delivering too far and not get paid enough. The real problem is that, in the aggregate, I can work for 80 hours a week, average 10 an hour, and still be struggling to pay for things like car repairs. The real problem is that we're not unionized or have any expectation of health or car insurance. The real problem is that it takes an idiot helming the complaint who will swallow an idiot's “fix” that will amount to dodging everything truly important. Whether they pay a little more or simply decrease the order radius, none of that will speak to you putting your ass and time on the line indefinitely if you want to get anything from this, or any other, job.
As is always the case, there's never room or time for referencing some labor struggle from history. It's never going to be worded correctly all of the other little things that would make life working easier as long as the issue raised demands too much yet simultaneously faux focus. They'll find what amounts to a duct tape fix, and we'll keep driving, and they'll keep expanding, and life will go on just as precariously. All of the energy and curse words and empty, “BUT WE REALLY DO CARE ABOUT OUR DRIVERS!” will get eaten up and echoed until we find our next resting state until a new person pops up about something else that won't really be fixed.
Meanwhile, if anyone dares address me, it's with the sunken shoulders and dead eyes a mother with an endlessly crying child might. Empty, exhausted, screaming, “WHAT DO YOU WANT!?” as if I don't articulate it. These people exist in that feeling-laden space that every ignorant tyrant abuses to hold themselves harmless for being completely oblivious to the harms they perpetuate. “I want to get paid more.” We're looking into it. I've worked 80 hours this week for no bonus or incentive. You can always just sign off. Deflect, excuse, and outright lie. They're a tech company first, trying to zero in on the perfect pain point that can keep a driver feeling rewarded just a bit more than hurt so they keep driving. If they could pay you $4.75 a delivery instead of $7, they would. Chris Rock said it best.
You can't fix labor and wages anymore than you can envision the entire country being able to fix things. We're morally bankrupt, uninspired, unintelligent, and more willing to eat our own than find the patience to recognize what's actually been said or the reality of our own circumstances. My job sucks as much dick as anyone else's, they've just hidden it behind a kind of lottery and lies to the customers who aren't going to ask questions. They at once want to mine us for answers and good ideas, and provide nothing in return. My biggest takeaway from each shift is the season of TV I get through, not that someone understands my plight or is looking out for me and my interests.
I deleted everything I said on the comment train. I know that this is the extent of my voice, and every time I venture beyond it I'm going to overstep, over-speak, and alienate. I'm going to watch people adjusting the mirror and debating its cleanliness while the car is on fire about every topic until the day I die. As long as I'm going to work alongside them, I need to accept their terms and burn along with them. Or, you know, suffer a fate worse than death and get called pretentious and get posted to /r/iamverysmart for my deep and pressing concerns and knowledge regarding the underprivileged working class. Because you're never allowed to just suffer one death.
All at once. My body reacts all at once to people or phrases or conversations. A dozen lines of what's “wrong” or “right” flood my head, and I mostly react with a scowl, chuckle, or blank expression (meant to convey I'm about to explode). It's exciting and anxiety inducing and altogether hopeless.
Someone complains about delivering food across town. It's a complaint I've made to some degree before. I was written off, “politely handled,” and then ignored. So a new person brings up the complaint, I offer a comment that was tantamount to the same one I got. “We're going to look into this to make sure we know how to fix it right.”
First, his problem is a simple one. If you spent 30-40 minutes on the road and are dependent on the goodwill and tip of your customer, often you're coming back to the kitchen having made $4.50. A scoundrel's rate if there ever was one. You're missing out on the orders building, you're getting a line of cars now being added to the queue to keep up to contend with, and every minute you're out on the road is one where you could be hit, pop a tire, or be subjected to the problems of what are generally poor condition cars.
I chime in, yes, like an idiot. I tell him that I've grown resolved to viewing this job like all jobs. We're “independent contractors,” after all, so we have no expectation of a reliable wage. The company didn't want to worry about health or car insurance, why would they be that sympathetic to your gas and time? There's a line around the block for other poor people who are happy to lap up what the company is serving. Keep in mind, customers think they're tipping you, but it's actually helping the kitchen not have to pay you as much. My, purely speculative, suspicion is that if you get out of line or start to disappoint as a driver, they tweak the program to discourage you from working with them further as “being annoying” isn't cause enough to simply fire you, like they've done to the last people of any influence who whispered about paying drivers more. It's not like we could form a union and compel higher wages.
Do you think I got a good response to that? Because the answer is no. Instead of taking the ideas away that, “Huh, you know what? Why don't we try for a union!?” or perhaps, “It was shady they got fired or shipped away!” or, “Why don't they just actually pay us out our tips the customers think they're paying?” or, “A pooled insurance or gas incentive would help out a lot!” Nope, I get, “Wait, 5 minutes ago you were on my side, and now you think they're actively trying to discourage me?” You know, because if you didn't zero in on the speculation, why would I bother speaking?
I informed him we're on the same side, said it was a losing one, and then asked him how he'd like me to help after he said “with that attitude” of course we're on the losing one. He didn't respond.
The real problem, more of course, isn't that you can get stuck delivering too far and not get paid enough. The real problem is that, in the aggregate, I can work for 80 hours a week, average 10 an hour, and still be struggling to pay for things like car repairs. The real problem is that we're not unionized or have any expectation of health or car insurance. The real problem is that it takes an idiot helming the complaint who will swallow an idiot's “fix” that will amount to dodging everything truly important. Whether they pay a little more or simply decrease the order radius, none of that will speak to you putting your ass and time on the line indefinitely if you want to get anything from this, or any other, job.
As is always the case, there's never room or time for referencing some labor struggle from history. It's never going to be worded correctly all of the other little things that would make life working easier as long as the issue raised demands too much yet simultaneously faux focus. They'll find what amounts to a duct tape fix, and we'll keep driving, and they'll keep expanding, and life will go on just as precariously. All of the energy and curse words and empty, “BUT WE REALLY DO CARE ABOUT OUR DRIVERS!” will get eaten up and echoed until we find our next resting state until a new person pops up about something else that won't really be fixed.
Meanwhile, if anyone dares address me, it's with the sunken shoulders and dead eyes a mother with an endlessly crying child might. Empty, exhausted, screaming, “WHAT DO YOU WANT!?” as if I don't articulate it. These people exist in that feeling-laden space that every ignorant tyrant abuses to hold themselves harmless for being completely oblivious to the harms they perpetuate. “I want to get paid more.” We're looking into it. I've worked 80 hours this week for no bonus or incentive. You can always just sign off. Deflect, excuse, and outright lie. They're a tech company first, trying to zero in on the perfect pain point that can keep a driver feeling rewarded just a bit more than hurt so they keep driving. If they could pay you $4.75 a delivery instead of $7, they would. Chris Rock said it best.
You can't fix labor and wages anymore than you can envision the entire country being able to fix things. We're morally bankrupt, uninspired, unintelligent, and more willing to eat our own than find the patience to recognize what's actually been said or the reality of our own circumstances. My job sucks as much dick as anyone else's, they've just hidden it behind a kind of lottery and lies to the customers who aren't going to ask questions. They at once want to mine us for answers and good ideas, and provide nothing in return. My biggest takeaway from each shift is the season of TV I get through, not that someone understands my plight or is looking out for me and my interests.
I deleted everything I said on the comment train. I know that this is the extent of my voice, and every time I venture beyond it I'm going to overstep, over-speak, and alienate. I'm going to watch people adjusting the mirror and debating its cleanliness while the car is on fire about every topic until the day I die. As long as I'm going to work alongside them, I need to accept their terms and burn along with them. Or, you know, suffer a fate worse than death and get called pretentious and get posted to /r/iamverysmart for my deep and pressing concerns and knowledge regarding the underprivileged working class. Because you're never allowed to just suffer one death.
