[xx-9] Sins of a Family

For those of you that don't know, my grandma died about 3 months ago after suffering a stroke and falling down the stairs. She never regained her faculties and needed to be watched 24/7 because initially could still fall out of bed and wander in a daze. She couldn't eat and had to be fed through a feeding tube in her stomach. She had to be carried to the bathroom and have a nurse come in to bathe her. She "lived" out the last 6 years like this in my dad's living room while both he and my step-mom were her primary care takers.

My dad is one of 4. He's got one older brother and older sister, and one younger brother. Both of the brothers have had managing or well-paying jobs most of their lives and graduated in years where degree meant high-paying job. One has lived with my grandma for 35ish years, moved out once for a few months, then came right back. The other has lived as modestly as a college kid must his entire life. These are not people who've struggled for money or need anything. There was some form of schedule where they would come in and sit and take care of my grandma and provide breaks for my dad and step-mom. This was to save face with my grandma's sisters and have a pleasant story to tell all the old Serbs if anyone asked.

They didn't just come in an relieve for a few hours, they had to have the expensive cable. They did their laundry, they ate much of the food, and did everything you'd suppose of a person who lived somewhere. This, in case you hadn't guessed already, makes your utility bills skyrocket. You see, one didn't pay those bills because he lived with mommy. The other had his modest apartment his whole life; the difference in price can be dramatic. They didn't just bring their habits. They also brought drama between them and my aunt who couldn't dare see my grandma for the half hour every few weeks if either of them were there. So imagine 50 year olds throwing tantrums about "I don't wanna see your stupid face while I visit my dying mother!"

There comes a time when the mortgage is in question. My dad doesn't know if he's going to lose the house. He's an iron worker and work is spotty and it wouldn't be so bad were it not for all the expenses of taking care of a dying mother and wasteful brothers weren't involved. They assure him "it's okay, there's a provision in ma's living will that allows for the payment of a mortgage or utilities in the event she has to be taken care of." My dad says okay and carries on.

This is for 6 years people. 6 years of having people in and out of your house. 6 years of care giving. 6 years of wondering how and if the bills will get paid.

Time comes and my grandma dies. She didn't play favorites and the will is clear: divide up the assets, split it 4 ways. This includes CDs, the sale of the house, and whatever she had in savings. The reason I'm getting to restart the coffee stuff is savings bonds she had for all of her kids and the grand kids. Well, you can't scrape a name off a savings bond, so everyone got those distributed. The rest was to be divided between her 4 kids.In order to make sure this got done, my grandma signed my uncle up as the executor of her estate. In his capacity he and my other uncle are trying to squarely fuck my dad out of his portion of the inheritance.

Now I don't believe in sin, but I'm positive that the word comes from actions like these.They invite my dad over, explain to him that they aren't selling my grandma's place and the money it took to keep the house running is coming out of his portion alone. You know, the house they practically lived in and didn't pay for....for 6 years....where their mother was taken care of. They want to keep her house "because ma signed it over to us." Which if one listens to my grandma, who made sure to tell EVERYONE what her intentions were for the house, she didn't. They didn't pay for that house, and signing over "take over the selling of my house responsibilities" is not "here's a free house after you've fucked your sibling and his wife for taking care of me." The CD's that would be split up don't mature for another couple of years.

This is why I don't have a conception of family. My grandma and my dad are the sole reasons I haven't ended up in prison for reacting the way I believe is genuinely and morally required in situations like these. It's not just that they're greedy, they're shitting all over the legacy I promise you my grandma would be in tears about leaving when it came to what she believed about family. Both my grandparents put all of their kids in college, helped out their neighbors, worked extremely hard and never left anyone out to hang no matter how dramatically they'd been fucked in the past. And these are their kids. Shameful and pathetic don't cover it. It's a fucking sin