My “natural” rhythm is to criticize. It's sometimes as if it's almost impossible for me to regard something positively, even the things I like. I can't just like a TV show. I need to comment on the vapid extravagance of the industry which sends terrible messages about how we should conceive of ourselves. I can't genuinely cheer for a sports team because I'm thinking about branding, money, exploitation, ignored hurt players, and how unlikely it is for “your area's team” to be from your area.
I can't even leave alone concepts like “communication.” It's not enough that news is simple non-reporting, but they're also not reporting in the dumbest kind of ways. I hate that I can ask, what I think are straight forward questions like, “do we really need ultra HD 4G curved TVs?” Only to be met with the question, “What? Do you think that technology should just stop progressing?” Oh, I see now, loud and clear. I simply should have never opened my mouth.
As I said, the things I like to do aren't safe. I reach a certain level of competence or mastery and then proceed to lose interest. I reduce my “talents” to an equation. They're an inevitable conclusion of good habits over time. It's easy for feelings of hopeless or futility to kick in when you see how industries are programmed, like music, and what they pump out very independent of ideas like “time,” “work,” or “innovation.” 8 hours a day to get fast fingers or perfect micro twitches doesn't stack up to a recycled beat and auto tune.
And it's because I often think, how am I to respect “them” when it's clichés, unnecessary drama, and sometimes the worst displays of some level of denial or fear that I could imagine. I understand we're all conditional, but most of us seem to go out of our way to fit in to a lot of bullshit. I feel like the only person who could have less of a feeling of “you” than me at that point, is you. Let's give one more shout out to the things you'd never think to do or say unless you're drunk, which is incidentally corrupted as well given that mid-20s is now perceived as too old. To be broke, lonely, and stressed is adult and responsible, after all. Especially if you have a job, partner, and plan.
It's important to note, I don't feel labored or stressed. I don't have to go out of my way to see problems. I don't have to devote any real brain power or do work. I think of it like actually listening to your elders, philosophers, and scientists and attempting to change or live accordingly. I'm super keen on not making exceedingly predictable mistakes. Often that comes hand in hand with being mindful of how many sucky things can result in a different outcome than you're looking for.
It's around here that the dramatic irony kicks in. You don't have to engage with or agree with my assessment of life. You, I'm assuming, love what you do! And often, you'd advise me to run along and find my own thing as well. The, aha! moment. The secret is to ignore everything and everyone around you while maintaining the ability to appreciate and understand all the choices the world has to offer. Take life for granted the same way you take love.
I listened to an interesting Tim Ferris podcast about figuring out what it is only you can do. These guys with 20-40 years on me talking about transforming their lives and pursuing the next project. The money comes and goes. The ideas manifest almost at random. If we leave aside “being this kind of person to these people”-esc examples, my thing just seems to be writing. It's using my voice my way. Only I can talk like me, even if there's a lot of people saying exactly the same things I think about. Most of what else I think I do well, or can do well, are to me, common sense. And even in writing, it's just to help me move on to shitting on the next thing.
I think it's that my sense of self is inextricably tied to so many things I fix or avoid personally that we can't grasp at large socially. Maybe I just want more people to be like me. ;-)
Amber The-Midgems: I don't think it is life you're not a fan of. I think it is the human condition. It is the human condition to look for someone to mate with. It is the human condition yo try to fit in with the pack for survival. These things are hardwired into our DNA. They aren't necessary any more, but it's hard to kick thousands of years of genetic conditioning. So, yes, people care about getting along with the group. But I think you only have to get to know someone well enough to realize everyone diverges from the "sheep" mentality at some point.
ReplyDeleteYes we worry about money and stress about jobs, as adults. But have you ever thought that is another way of ensuring our survival? If no one ever thought about where their next paycheck came from, no one would do their job. That would mean the gas you use to drive your car wouldn't be produced, the food you buy at the grocery store wouldn't have been grown, the TV show you binge on via Netflix would never have existed. We would be back in a subsistence society, best case scenario, where only you could count on you for making sire you survive. Worst case scenario, we would be a bunch of backstabbing cannibals in a society where the most brutal person won. But that would go against human nature as a whole, because we strive for peace, prosperity, and progress. We might just have gotten a bit lost in this black hole of consumerism, commercialism, and ignorance. We'll make it out, though, or destroy ourselves and let the earth try again.
I think that's something we probably disagree on. The "sheep" mentality, as I conceive of it, is nuanced to the point of near invisibility. Usually, the more I get to know somebody, it starts to become more apparent how they really *need* to do and think like everyone else. It's usually after giving them an opportunity to diverge or follow some conclusion, and instead of doing so they lash out at you, break down, or start playing pop psychologist about the reasons you're even having this discussion or asked the question.
ReplyDeleteIf you say that I'm not a fan of the human condition, then the aspect of that condition I hate the most is the irrational fear. Because it ultimately boils down to whether or not a decision will be made. I frequently lean on a battered wife mentality analogy. There's always an excuse, there's an under reaction to the nature of the problem, blame is passed around to everyone else instead of on the relationship, and the moment you could do even small things to make it better, you actually manage to find a way to make it worse. I watch people take "life," as it's depicted in the media, as they're friends nonchalantly talk about and take for granted, as their leaders steer their conceptions, and get beaten in the face by it as they smile and ask for more.
I think "survival" is very independent of the job you have or money. I think that if you look at the fascination people have with apocalyptic wasteland shows or movies, there's an underlying current to sort of "do away with it all" and make it simply about keeping it moving or catching a rabbit. People do jobs for any number of reasons, not least of which because of a sense of invigoration and duty. Most jobs don't need to exist and, arguably, do more to harm for our survival and health than if we did "nothing" but get through each day. It's an everyday decision to reinforce what constitutes necessity and work. We have to keep agreeing that if you don't work you're lazy or if all you've known is coal mining then you deserve to keep doing it the rest of your life.
It's just striking that "we" don't even try. The big sways forward or back come from small pointed groups of intentioned individuals. I would like to think the preference is not to destroy ourselves and a ho-hum attitude about not achieving that goal being something to guard against. History seems to be full of stories or examples of wanting something more, smart, or progressive that just feels stalled today. It's like we haven't made our lives bad enough to appreciate how good they are or can be. But there is no dipping our toes kind of scenario. We're playing with the psychology of instant impact and influence around the world or words like "next mass extinction."
Lastly, I don't think "we" strive for anything, let alone peace, prosperity, and progress. I think the masses are conditional comfort seekers. Whatever is handed to them, they can adapt, good or bad, but usually bad. I think this breeds false security and confidence. I think an exceedingly small group of people want the 3 Ps, and they usually have to do it at the expense or in the margins of the comforts they're trying to afford everyone else. You want to be the leader for human rights? Here's jail and bullets. You want to hold the flag for privacy? Let's chase you out of the country you'd like to believe is free. You've settled conflict through communication and diplomacy in regions of the world who've been at war for thousands of years? Here's an Upworthy video while the news inundates us with fear and war.