So
I just saw Fight club. The whole schizoid thing sparked something.
Look at your friends. Your best friends. Who are they? They are you.
At least part of you. This isn't deep thinking or anything but I find
it so intriguing when I think about the 5 or so people I call actual
friends. I even tend to act like the personality trait I attribute to
them when I'm around them. That's basically weird. This goes back to
finding ways to live through your inadequacies. Damn. I don't know if
I like realizing that. One more way to lose a sense of self. Fuck.
Hmm so lets diagram this.
- Angry, Talkative, Thoughtful, Proud
- Dramatic, Sympathetic, Irrational
- Indifferent, Horny, Experimental, Trustworthy
The
other few that stick in there are some extension of the above only
directed towards different specifics. Ten buck says that if/when they
read this it will be too easy to tell I'm talking about them. And
most of those can float in and out between them all. Overwhelmingly I
gravitate towards people who think and that I can trust. Duh. So then
wait….
Selflessness,
Spirituality, Beauty
And
now it becomes simpler. But even still. I know plenty of people like
that don't I? Or maybe their just trying to hard. Or the fact that
they're trying period. Not so much about embodiment but instead
preservation, proliferation. Striving to embody balance? Then its how
badly does/has a disruption affect/ed you? That smidgen of yin you
have that keeps the yang from doing something stupid? (if you've ever
read into that kind of stuff). According to the few charts I've just
read it appears I have little yin.
Prognosis:
The force that drives one to preserve the balance of one's inner
chi(?) is most compelling. The question. What, if anything, does it
say about the compulsion of love? Projected manifestation of your own
desire? Quite depressing if so. Better question. Is the balance held
in the head resulting of subconscious thought and observation, or at
the root of the heart?
If
the heart is inherently pure than it worries not of being thrown out
of balance. Implying the head, which perhaps frequently can't be
trusted. Thus where the standoff between heart and head takes anchor.
Then why do some move so voracious with either or? Both present and
compelling, inability to be ignored. Talk about disorder.
It
wasn't Mr. Norton's mind that pulled the trigger.
