God:
Wow, that was a pretty violent death there Tyrone. I mean 14 caps in
dat ass and you took it like a stone cold nigga.
Tyrone:
What? I was part of a gang, my life was filled with hate and
violence. (wearing diamond incrusted cross)
God:
And lemme tell ya, it makes for great HD, or heavenly divine, tv.
Tyrone:
But God, I read that all the sex, drugs, and violence was gonna get
me on the highway to Hell.
God:
Read what? What are you….. O My Self! Saaaataaan!
::God
glances down the road to see Satan bent over laughing::
God:
Satan, did you send that crap story about your starter race and call
it my word again?
Satan:
(grinning) maybe….
God:
Dude, its getting childish, this is the 5th
time you've screwed with one of my creations.
Tyrone:
I'm getting confused.
God:
I know man, its cool, this doosh over here can't grow up.
Satan:
What's wrong with a little fun? I mean come on, what's better than
hearing "Oh, I love Jesus. He's my savior. I know God. God hates
fags and abortion. Blah blah blah" and then 2 seconds later they
cheat on their wife, scream God damnit, and conspire about EVERYONE
that doesn't seem to "get it" like they do.
God:
You know just as well as I do we all have to start somewhere, making
it that much more confusing is why we have so much damn work to do in
processing. You'd think they were Mexican with so many coming in at
one time.
Tyrone:
So you mean all the bible stuff isn't right? My faith that the words
were holy and righteous means nothing?
God:
Well, let me put it to you like this. The headline in today's paper
is really gonna read, "God created another race, shaped the
cosmos, and redefines the soul…… and by the way you should check
out his new book." Not to mention, technically your all my kids,
what do you think Jesus has that you don't?
Tyrone:
(puzzled) Damn. So then what's good and bad? What love can we trust?
God:
Do you like being told what to do, think, and say?
Tyrone:
Hell naw
God:
Would some dirty Blood ever be able to convince you that your mama's
dying and you can trust him to look after your turf?
Tyrone:
Ok, now you playin with me dawg.
God:
Well if you can't trust them with your turf and mama, how can you
trust someone with your knowledge about Me?
Tyrone:
Well see that's different man, If my brother came to me and said moms
was sick, I'd go and check.
Satan:
Even if I had been a little bored the night before and decided to
plant seeds of a double cross in your bro's head? Good news (gay
happy clap)
Tyrone:
Well no.
God
and Satan: So how would you know?
Jesus:
Hey guys, what's goin down?
Satan:
Not me…
God:
We're seeing how Tyrone here can tell between me and Satan.
Jesus:
Sweet, so what's the word turd?
Tyrone:
I mean I grew up with him, he ain't crazy. We tighter than a virgin.
Once when we was kids he lied to my pops fo a week about who busted
are bedroom window so I wouldn't get my ass beat. I dunno man, I can
just kinda feel him in my stomach you know?
Jesus:
Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner. What does he win Goddy?
God:
Umm i dunno, whatever he wants? this is
Heaven right?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Son:
Daddy, why do we have war?
Dad:
Well son, some people hear God and he tells them to start one.
Son:
But what about the bible?
Dad:
What about it? Who kills more than God, ever read the Old Testament?
Son:
Daddy you know I can't read yet.
Dad:
I know, I know, good thing you have me to say what it means to you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mark:
Hey John, did you know Franklin once said "insanity is doing the
same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome."?
John:
Really? Deep.
Mark:
I know right, puts a whole new spin on praying.
John:
Now I know some people who's lives have been enriched and changed by
prayer.
Mark:
Your probably right, but you should see all the books written on
denial.
