I
feel like the last three weeks has gone by too fast. Switching from
sleeping in and staying up all night and being down for any event at
any time to waking up every morning to run a coffee shop has put me
in a dreadful routine reminiscent of high school. I need to regroup
and remember that even though I’m not finding the time as often as
I like, I haven’t lost sight of how and why I’m operating. My
thoughts haven’t slowed and my ideas still need to evolve per my
environment’s lesson plan.
The
more I engage with people outside of my finely tuned bubble, the more
I want to retract. My throw away statements about the stupidity or
evil nature of people were not conceived upon nothing. Daily
reminders of why I’ve managed to think the way I do start to take
their toll.
I
mean what could be greater than owning your own business? Well, when
you own it in the mall, you don’t make your own hours. My goal is
to have my time. My time is currently dictated by the mall hours and
bills. I assure you this is something I will not perpetuate any
longer than I have to. It’s also quite the unpleasant thought to
realize just how unpredictable the day to day mall traffic is.
I’m
fascinated by the sentiments like “starting a business is hard in
this economy” and “70% of business fail within the first year,
whatever else percent in the first 3 months.” This to me obscures
the point. People fail, not business. I would fail if my first
inclination was to get a massive loan. I would be failing if, on the
days I wasn’t breaking even, I was in the hole for more than a trip
to biolife or a part time job. There are stores in and out of this
mall every 3 months, not because they don’t serve the “right”
food or the clothes, but because they don’t accurately depict how
good or bad an idea it is for someone like them to be selling a
product.
My
worst case scenario is a small amount of debt that literally could be
paid with a part time job in a matter of 3 to 6 months. And, in that
scenario I still have a kiosk that can be transported to better
places. And, though horribly annoying shit may plague me at this
mall; it won’t go on longer than a year. I say this not to brag,
but to hopefully persuade people that the only thing separating
success from failure, “good” from “bad” is a little common
sense and honesty. When you pick a goal that highlights your morality
and practicality instead of espouses greed, it takes away all of the
alleged stress that’s supposed to come with starting a new
business.
What
gets to me, what has always gotten to me, are the stupid fucking
people. It’s when I’m lied to and being made to play into a
corporate game. It’s when someone makes it their goal, their habit
even, to take advantage. This isn’t to pretend there aren’t
diamonds in the ruff, but I’ve got enough diamonds that I want to
work with. Little beacons of advice don’t feel like an oasis, they
just remind me of a pattern of subjugation and meager peasant
dissonance. There are no more rebels or fighters behind the
complaints of the mall staff, than there are students threatening
mutiny towards a teacher. At the end of the day it’s just a spit
ball.
And
what good I’d be doing trying to persuade them that I’m after
something different. Yes, I want to pay the bills too, but I’m more
after the whole changing the world thing. Or, at least a good portion
of ideas in whatever portions of the world I make it to. I need to
raise my prices? Because I’m not as greedy as you? Because I don’t
understand my bills, or rent, or what? Because I need to pretend that
making lattes or mochas is especially hard or expensive? Oh I know!
The extra 10 dollars I make over the next 3 days is going to help me
more than the good will of people who I’ve told I’m not trying to
overcharge.
It
just gets old. I see the patterns people get themselves into. “This
mall sucks! Instead of joining together and putting some pressure on
it to respect its vendors and change something, I’m just going to
leave or rely on something else.” “These corporate games suck!
I’m just going to give up doing what I think I’d like and resolve
myself to something simpler.” Yes, fighting is a risk, but when you
all stand against some very obvious and unjust bullshit, you move the
risk to the people who were asking for it. Granted, fighting isn't
for everyone, but I at least have a personal vendetta against
resolving myself and becoming complacent. It also kind of sucks when
the handful of small vendors have more invested than the majority of
inline stores. :-/
I
will move as fast as I’m able. When I had nothing but saved cash,
the rent paid, and a good portion of my friends on board, I opted for
party house. I wanted a place where people could be free to have fun,
be entertained, and be safe enough. Of course it got taken advantage
of, but that doesn’t mean I somehow lost my goal or forgot why I
did it. I want to do the same in business. Run with what works, grow
as I can, be an example for those ready to appreciate where and why
I’m coming from. I love hearing about things like Panera with the
pay what you can system. I want to get to a point where I can do shit
like that, make it less about the money and more about feeding
people. Maybe less about the “status” of drinking Starbucks (for
the record, I don’t understand that even remotely) and more about
indulging responsibility.
Here’s
the rub. I’ll give it up if my ideas won’t hold in this society.
If most people are somehow against saving money, against fighting
greed or being needless consumers, or simply refuse to see the
utility of being basically a good person who tries to enjoy their
time, I’m done. I’ll go live in a shack and teach surf lessons or
something. The mental turmoil of resolving that with living in a
world even remotely resembling sanity would not be worth it. The real
problem is me thinking this isn’t such an unlikely scenario. Prove
me wrong?
But
to not end on a sour note. Everyone that does enjoy our drinks, and
what I'm doing, and has done nothing but been supportive, thank you,
and you're exactly what I'm working for. Yes, this current routine
sucks, and the some of my interactions with people in the "business
world" have sucked, and days where there's seven people in the
mall suck, it's the thoughts of what's to come that keeps me going.
Like getting to a place where I can be helpful when you're almost
kicked out of school or something ;). And I revel in the idea of
being the one to remind you that getting drunk and doing stupid shit
with your friends is always going to be fun no matter how old or
"mature" you get.
I
guess the whole point of this was to say that I know where I'm coming
from and I hope it's somewhere the people I'm working for can
respect. I'll bitch all day, but I won't forget.
