What
really makes someone an individual? Browse through the thousands of
myspace profiles, watch the millions of youtube videos…. Everyone to
some degree or another listens to the same music as you do, drinks
the same things, takes the weird "I'm alternative, but still
cool and dark" picture, or sports their popular clothes. These
people have the same smiles, same poses, same thoughts and blurbs in
their about me sections. Every school is the worst, or the most
exciting and awesome. No one could possibly ask for a better best
friend they have in their profile picture. I was just walking around
the mall and noticing how every seems to scream their insecurities
and pledge their allegiance to the crowd. How you can find a presence
in the air of, "I think I'm the only one in the mall and I need
to look like this because…….." All the clicks have their
cool guy, hot girl, jokester, chubby one to make the others look
better. Then I start to think about what I heard in waking life about
how history constantly repeats itself with all these famous
philosophers and theologians coming to mind blowing conclusions and
compounding on all the previous information to make bigger and more
mind blowing conclusions. What I don't get is if there is this air or
presence lingering over everyone's heads making them feel, say, and
think all this that makes them so connected, what is it pushing
towards and can we discover true identity? How can we have so much
information from the past and technology now and not be able to zero
in on the big picture. God signs maybe? Telling us all to tap into
our "true" selves and get the point already.
But,
it’s like really depressing to think of yourself as nothing more
than an imitation of someone more like the person you want to be. I
think the only thing that sets us apart from each other is a
concentrated effort to deny any connection that may exist. Or maybe
fear to explore where that connection could take you. I think that's
where it really breaks down when people find love. Its like I go to
an MCR concert and find people all arm in arm with their emo
alternative chick or dyed hair pierced guy. Now there has to be
something to make girl/guy dressed in black different. People sense
or feel this connection to something to more than the eyeliner or way
they flick their hair. The question is, how can everyone tap into
that sense that self that seems to be only perceived by a few? What
is that sense of "the one" and the relation it has to who
were created to be? Its almost a direct correlation with people that
adopt the view of "the few" or "the many" and
their confused perception of morals or denied and unanalyzed thoughts
about the whys behind their actions. Its easy to justify being a
floozy when you kill any urge to stress or think. You can always live
by your own rules and be "yourself" when you've never
explored what living by something else may have to offer. This is why
religion is so intriguing to me. With all of the rules, separatism,
and interpretations it all just points to this bigger sense of
understanding. They all claim to have the answers behind finding that
person who gets into heaven or gets the virgins. But what really is
going to more self revealing and problem solving than living?
Look at
sexuality. Sex is supposed to be this engagement between couples in
love. Obviously for a lot of people that isn't the case. The bible
would shake its finger and say how wrong you are and taking the wrong
path to God. For some people though, random fucking may provide this
overwhelming sense in their hearts and minds that tells them
something more than some errant preacher of the gospel. Anyone that
doesn't agree can just look at any "sin" they partake in
and look at the messages it sends them. Your continuation of such
activities, despite your acceptance or denial of what they are
telling you, does not change the fact that the opportunity for a
lasting and deep impression is still present. It's kinda funny and
coincidental to me how all my "problems" seem to mesh into
one picture. Feelings for dream girl, screwed up past, thoughts on
religion, plans for my future. It all boils down to me wanting to tap
into myself and live like force I can't explain wants me to. Base my
decisions on something more than a rule book or an insecurity. We
grow up imitating. When do we know how and when the cord can be cut?
My thing with the bible is that its only valid if it backs up what
you, in every sense of the word "truly," believe before you
ever read it. That's when the real message comes across. Until then
you look like just another cult member.
Thou shalt not steal takes on
a whole new meaning when you've gone to jail. What do people do when
they are restricted? Duh, look to get unrestricted. Why drop a rule
book on the heads of a gene pool that's main motivation in life is to
be free? You might say to set them free. Free from what though? Free
from life? Free from this limbo spiritual battlefield? If that's how
its all going down then why live? Does someone being human and then
super human give you a better perspective of why you should'nt follow
the devil? Do you get an extra merit badge for going through life's
bullshit that the angels never had to? I mean its not hard to
sympathize with the agnostics and atheists if you can't understand
how, if at all, this spiritual force is impacting your life. If
everything is set into play because of nothing more than
predictable actions and probability then right there is why the
concept of love is so important. All the foreseeable actions, time,
and probability in the world is going to make you meet or connect
with millions of people, but nothing they have to offer can even
vaguely compare to the sensation you get being around that one.
That's when all those rules and "restrictions" become your
life. When you learn and live through actual true love. In all
honesty I think your actions are justified in ignorance or knowledge
if they are striving to reach that understanding.
Random
fun thoughts cus I know you got distracted and stopped really reading
after four sentences……If you’re married by
a pastor who's boning the alter boys, is your marriage valid?
regardless
