I want to put my
disposition up to a vote. I’m tired of trying to think my way past
or justify things. I want to know what the rest of the world actually
wants, if anything, and then respond accordingly. It would be a huge
oversight to just try and work at things without anyone actually
believing in what you’re doing. If they don’t buy into it you
won’t get any change, let alone the big ones you’ve assumed to be
the most worthy and over reaching. So tell me, how should I feel, and
for how long?
We live in a country that outright
denies someone DNA testing that would likely prove them innocent in
order to “finally put them to death” and move the financial
burden from our minds. How do I categorize that? Is it collateral
damage of too many people with too many views? Is it the most abysmal
example of a human rights abdication I can think of? Is it secretly a
positive thing because we should be cutting back on the amount of
people on the planet anyway? I want to know.
We live in a country/planet where
people are comfortable hurting people because they would feel bad
allowing those people to live otherwise. We let people’s ignorance
reign supreme. I know my friends are a small sample size of the
population, but you are primarily not the people I’m referring to
here. So tell me, how should I feel about evidence not mattering,
equality not mattering, or uninformed and dramatic feelings dictating
where I can get in life? Tell me how I should feel about my ever
fleeting time being spent hearing the words [and debating the merit!]
of the weakest and most evil among us.
It is becoming increasingly less about
my effort or knowledge. I put in the time to try and be informed and
productive. It doesn’t seem to matter. How should I feel about not
mattering? Do I need to bring in all the theoretical examples I’m
setting for people that I’ll never hear or see? Do I need to stop
giving into the façade that my impact is truly as powerful as I’d
like to believe? Is it better for me to adopt “that’s life”
adages and fit? I want to know the secret. I want to know how to
stomach it.
I’m feeling less and less
justification for being happy. I’m asking because I don’t
precisely know why I should continue making myself. It isn’t about
what I have. It’s about what we are. Animals.
