Tuesday,
July 28, 2009 at 4:27am
What is it you respect most in life? There's your parents, technology, people you despise (by how you don't react of course), or just the awesome power of the world and the infinite ways it can kill you. I would say these are all pale in comparison to the respect you should carry for yourself. It's important to realize that your ability to reason, your capacity to learn, and your sole responsibility to think and act on those thoughts, is a kind of freedom and power that only exists within you. I know I come across frequently as not respecting other people or others' views. Somehow, this sits pretty fine with me because I don't think the way I "disrespect" people has anything to do with ignorance or sheer will to offend. I find that no matter what I say, unless I make a move to be explicit, and denote it as such, I am being sarcastic, light, and ultimately struggling ever so desperately to be funny. I am aware, particularly for those that really don't understand me, that this doesn't always go over well, if not frequently unwell. Despite this, I still don't think I give off the kind of vibe I get from people who at least act like they are trying to play the same game I am.
I really feel like my level of respect for someone is more expressed in what I refrain from saying. This has it's own catch though because when I can get to a level of such mutual understanding and trust, I'm bound to say anything. But that aside, I don't really let things slip through that would otherwise smear my views about someone unless I really felt it appropriate for the situation. I don't think I'm extended the same "courtesy" if only because the ones I see it coming from don't realize they are revealing so much. Worse, they don't even adhere, or know they were suppose to adhere, to some code of conduct that could arguably be said to have been put in place by "they." Either way, say the opportunity to understand and behave accordingly in a situation is gleaned over because of personal inequities leaving you unaware, one can always look at a pattern of behavior, and finally, the overall picture or story of a life so far. It's of concern to me to see some patterns that aren't very agreeable either.
There are, again, many ways to respect things and people, and those ways will be wholly different with regard to each instance. Some girls love a slap on the ass and thank the guy for remembering, others would freak out on a two hour tirade. The point of that is to bring up the importance of clarity. When you respect yourself enough to have weighed all your thoughts and come to a decision about yourself, you can share it with whomever you choose to involve in your life. When you run from those thoughts or try to muddy the waters of who you in fact are, the latter kinds of reactions occur. To me, the perfect person is one who, despite the almost certain many faults, can convey who they are without you having to ask a single question. They don't explain, they exist, and because of this, the purest form of respect can manifest; you respect their being.
I find myself saying the most about the people I can't believe are human. They don't adopt any persona, whether it's one I agree with or am vehemently opposed to. I also don't think that it's any coincidence that if you believe you've adopted some personality I'm vehemently opposed to, it tends to reek of typical inequities that plague the mindless and non-committed. I joke on people I respect, and flat out insult the ones I don't. It's an either or for me. So when I feel like someone is trying to insult me, despite their joking mock-up, I can't help but feel like I loose respect for them. I mean, how can you "kind of" believe something either so ridiculous or so mean about someone yet claim you admire their being? Maybe there's a middle ground here I can't really understand so if you see it tell me. I suppose it would make it easier to believe more people only joke on the ones they like, thought I would find this generally hard to believe from the ones I'm most likely to hear it from.
So, I respect myself more than anything, what is it that would make me find even an ounce for someone else? Their work and their unconscious behaviors. It's really easy to act and lie towards people who aren't expecting it. For whatever reason, the ones who choose to act and lie the most never entertain the idea that anyone can see them doing it. "Lucky" for them, I try to see past that into what they do that isn't so directly annoying and unnecessary. If that direct annoyance brought with it a discernible utility, that could help to marginalize said annoyance as well. Though, I'm finding it unfortunate there aren't as many producers and doers as I'd theorized, and thus leaves the unconscious acts. I think this might be why I have so many friends.
The easiest is when I see enough conscious, unconscious, and little to no testaments of value in someone. I can then simply be indifferent. The problem is when you see enough weighty examples in someone you respect that resonate with all three areas. It's really hard to make a concrete judgment if you've never been over with them how they explicitly see that situation. Along with that, part of what I've built into me is to be comfortable and deal with results regardless of their outcome. I don't think the real failure lies in either party by not going to every length to be clear. I think it lies in not respecting even the remotest perception that would caution you from proceeding with a course of action. This is omitting a conclusion from your thought process for the sake of something you feel guilty or desperate about. It isn't respectful to the people you're involving in your decisions, and especially not to yourself.
Finally, there is no such thing as a genuine assumption about another person; leaving aside the biological realm. When you act on your deepest most compelling feelings, your not thinking and there's nothing genuine about you. You become a puppet that dances to the tune of whatever you can make yourself believe about another person or yourself. It's almost innocent when you admit to holding an assumption you've acted on with a face riddled with childlike shame. It's a whole different situation when you start to base decisions on an assumption without really understanding who and what your dealing with. If anything, this is how I would describe the opposite of respect.
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about 7 months ago · Comment · LikeUnlike
'Updated
about an hour ago'
Son, your sleep schedule is gonna be SO fucked up by the beginning of the school year.
Son, your sleep schedule is gonna be SO fucked up by the beginning of the school year.
July
28, 2009 at 5:52am ·
What
are you talking about? This is the same sleep schedule as during the
school year
July
28, 2009 at 6:41am ·
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