Write Makes Right: [104] I Most Certainly Need Ya'lls Help

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

[104] I Most Certainly Need Ya'lls Help

Tuesday, July 8, 2008 at 7:02am

Stupid facebook made my last 5 notes private and I really wanted feedback on this one.

It’s a dangerous thing when someone who was so desperately controlled by their emotions tries to lead with their brain. I just got into it with Tammi and wanted to know why she chose to lie to me about giving control of the account I have set up for school to my dad. First, she decided to say that she didn’t lie, which is bullshit because I have the emails. Then she decided to say that she simply changed her mind. This is a woman who got on me and Josh endlessly about lying, and about how much easier our punishments and lives would be if we didn’t lie to her. She is all of a sudden allowed to lie to me when she thinks it is warranted. By the way, this was not a civil conversation, but it could have been at a whisper and nothing productive would have happened. She thinks that I want her to crack under my will, that I want to break her down and fit her into some framework I have about how things are supposed to go. She says this is “exactly how you were when you were a little kid.” It is entirely irrational for me to continue telling her this is not the case, so I’m writing this as an appeal to those not involved. When I took my “witchcraft” class and sent her the email for just the amount I needed reimbursed, nothing more, this is what she came back with .

“Unless you can explain how studying witchcraft factors into getting a well-rounded academic education, I can't justify reimbursing you for these books.”

My first question to you is, does this sound like a respectful way to inquire about my education? Now I came back at her with all my artful ways of cussing and inventive analogies to help illuminate her irrationality, but see I can recognize this an fully admit that I will do that. The question about her statement remains. My response.

“Excuse me? A 3 credit hour class that talks about science and the occult isn't about learning to make spells for christ's sake. Maybe you've heard of classes that are pre-reques for different majors later as well? YOU AREN'T REIMBURSING ME. YOU DON'T MATTER. It's not your money. Can you warn be before I send you serious emails while your on the rag because I'm sick of these stupid ass games you keep playing. You should see the wand I take to class everyday....fuckin loon.”

Not to mention it was a 9 week accelerated course as well. Her response.

“Nicholas:

I asked a simple, direct question, to which you replied with vulgarity and insults. As a paying parent, I have a right to know what you're studying, as I'm responsible for seeing that your college funds are appropriated prudently. Witchcraft is a prerequisite class for what field of study?

In recent memory, I recall reimbursing you for guitar lessons, martial arts attire and now this. All of these "classes" mimic courses you could have taken for free or a nominal fee at the local "Y" or library. It's evident you're not taking your academic studies seriously. You have until the end of this semester to get your act together or you'll be paying for these ridiculous classes out your own pocket. Your choice.

You know what you can do with your wand.

Mom”

Let me point out the problems in her response, because at first glance you might think she has a few points going for her. The first problem is the first sentence. What seems like a simple and direct question was accusing me of purposely degrading my education and a half threat. The next problem is “As a paying parent.” This money, all of this money, came from my dad almost dying on the job. She tried to tell me that she was the one who fought for the money and wanted it appropriated for school. Another blatant lie. Again, take note of the next problem in her reference to the class as “witchcraft.” Moving on, she says she reimbursed me for guitar lessons and martial arts attire. Now these are classes offered by the university and in need of work to get a good grade out of them. She thinks they can be taken for a nominal fee or at the local Y or library? Our small circle instructor wasn’t shy about telling us how much it would be to take classes and it isn’t nominal nor cheaper than taking it through IU. Maybe everyone hasn’t taken music lessons, but there is a difference in what you learn when it’s through a teacher and when it’s your buddy down the street. Furthermore, I had come to IU with music planned as my second focus, which she was fully aware of, and yet now taking a guitar class signifies that I’m not taking things seriously.

I’m not going to reproduce all the emails here where she’s gone off on some magical tangent about what I’m doing with my life and how. What I can tell you if that throughout our back and forth apparently I’ve managed to scare her family and make her feel that I am not mentally healthy. All of which I can’t even be angry at because I find them so ridiculous. Fun fact, her own sister was getting abused by her husband for years and yet was sane and “family” enough to come welcomed at family dinners and treated like things were normal. Where’s the rational or justified action in name of fear there? This woman thinks I want to crush her under my will or something for the sake of control. I’m still trying to figure out what she thinks I have control over. I can’t fuck up in school or obvious issues arise. I wouldn’t blow money on arbitrary things because again, obviously this would only cause unwanted stress, work, and problems in my life. I don’t want to control her because for years I’ve been telling her to LEAVE and not ever have to bother with me again. But remember everyone, it’s my “choice” if I want things to remain this way. When I asked her why she lied to me about giving control of the account to my dad she said, “I changed my mind.” When I say she’s playing the part of check writer yet isn’t paying for the books I bought for my “witchcraft” she says, “I reimburse you when I feel it’s appropriate.”

Obviously ladies and gentlemen I’m a hate filled, controlling, disrespectful, mentally unsound, and in need of prayer atheist so I’m appealing to your assessment. I’m sending her this blog, and I plan to send her your responses. I’m the type of person that will reflect what I get from people. When she tries to exude this controlling and irrational behavior over me, maybe it’s just a coincidence that she’ll read that from our interactions regardless if I’d like to keep it about the plain facts. So my questions to you are:

Did her response to what I needed to be reimbursed for sound respectful?
What am I trying to control?
What points do you think I misrepresented or misread in her response to me?

Also, please tell me how I’m supposed to be respectful, what I call kissing the ass of, a woman who lies to me and slanders my dad.

23 comments

Cara Zimmerman (Chicago, IL) wroteat 2:22pm on July 8th, 2008

Nick,
I think her response to you was a valid response. Ok, so maybe she had the wrong view of what type of class it was that you were taking, but she asked in a nice way how it was adding to your education. I think you could've written her back a little more nicely. But ok with her second response I could see how that would make you mad. Yes, as a "parent" she has a right to know what you're studying in college, but she has to realize that you're what, almost 20? You can makes those kind of decisions yourself about which classes you should take. She shouldn't base her reimbursement off what she "thinks" will be good for your education.
I don't know what you're trying to control.
How to be respectful: don't use swear words when replying to her. Give yourself a couple hours before you write back and maybe you'll think it over and won't be so angry later on. Don't always think that you're the one who's in the right. Be grateful she even pays for any of your education.

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Tuesday, July 8, 2008

[104] I Most Certainly Need Ya'lls Help