[1259] Swing Low

I’m feeling something of a “chaos energy,” so let’s see if it translates to anything worth reading.

I’m running for office. I did it, literally almost last filing minute, after catching a post from MAD Indiana Voters showing a list of offices running unopposed. It’s a forgone conclusion in most people’s minds that Indiana is a republican/fascist stronghold, right? Pay no mind to Obama winning the state in 2008, that’s ancient history, and we all know politics is about the immediacy of our ever-escalating grievances.

As soon as I filed, my filing was challenged by a local crazy person. A very annoying several hours attending a public hearing I, and dozens of others she had challenged, resulted in time wasted I won’t get back and the immediate reality check for why “people” don’t get involved or “nothing” gets done. These processes and procedures are by design. They slow things down. They make things bureaucratic so they, theoretically, don’t get violent. That morning, adults performed an accountability ritual, respect, and patience towards someone incapable of grasping the concepts for themselves.

Then I attended my first democratic party meeting. I was 1 of 4 people there under the age of 40. I listened to no less than 15 polite asks for money, for shirts, for banners, for flyers, for some quasi-beleaguered group, for someone’s individual effort that’s really set to do something swell. See you at the booth, the cookout, the farmer’s market weeks from now. I was invited to facebook groups, group chats, and email chains. I’ve been told I should be introduced to so and so. They want to support me in any way they can.

My pithy and aggravated way to summarize my experience so far is, it’s like the Nazis are up the road, shooting people, burning down everything I care about, and my compatriots are huddled against a window looking out at the destruction, and the first thing anyone thinks to say is, “We should call a meeting about this.”

There is no leader. There is no faith in the broader structure or coalition. You have a handful of the busy-types trying to project agreeability as they throw ideas into the wind of what “anyone” should do. It’s people spinning wheels. It’s people convinced of their own side-quest. It’s people who make you feel exhausted about the meta-work of how to sort and organize them on top of the real battle at your door.

Cue the stick-in-your-own-bike-spokes commentary. “They’re just trying to make a difference!” “Winning would be great!” “Our chances are small, but if we try in every race our chances improve!” “At this point, I’m happy with any improvement!” These are all real quotes.

I’m a counselor. I have to take vague contradictory and often empty chaos and turn it into specific action that we can measure in order to say anything meaningful about whether or not you’re “getting better.” “Just” is a trigger word for me. “Difference,” from what to what? Why do you think our chances are small? Why do you think I think you’re going to stay perfectly unable to explain yourself? What does “trying” look like, and would Yoda have anything to say about that? What can you say is improved if you refuse to define a floor?

I remember writing about the origins and effectiveness of the ironically named “Tea Party.” Idiots ignorantly screaming lies from a bed of oligarchic money in service to inducing a broader cultural psychosis has fundamentally altered our concept of ourselves and politics. They won, hammering the stupid bell, until we all went deaf. What’s the strategy democrats? Knock doors and hand people a spreadsheet? (real suggestion). Generate 6 different websites showing precinct percentages and asking over and over and over again what problems are facing “real people” while it never fucking occurs to you to just sit and talk with them? (real example).

People are addicted to their self-serving stories, exacerbated by social media, but in general as, allegedly, conscious animals. They don’t, actually, vote “issues.” They aren’t, actually, dispositionally situated to be an educated accountable progressive hive-mind. They are situational, relational, and opportunistic. A few buck trends and occasionally find seats of decent power to set a different kind of example. The vast majority, believe it or not, will not nor ever learn or care about the extent of anything you’ve heard on any actual news outlet. They’re Kaleb on Clarkson’s Farm watching the robot planter move 2 miles an hour up and down the field for hours. They’ve never watched a TikTok to the end.

So, what’s the nature of the problem? “Stupid people?” “Voter turnout?” “Attention spans?” “Propaganda?” “Disorganization?” Your favorite excuse is as good as any.

2 out of 3 “average” people will profess a full-throated desire for something akin to a dictatorship. They want a leader. They want direction. They want to be given license to hate a designated enemy. They want life as easy as most of you provide for your pets. How much time are you spending trying to figure out how to persuade your dog to care about climate change? Tell me, honestly, what your cockatoo thinks about the deaths of children and soft power after the cuts to USAID. The fascists have taken over on the power of blind hatred, and you’re still trying to cope with the irony of them co-opting taxation without representation?

I think you’re scared to admit and work with the hate you feel. I think you want to pretend you’re better than Cletus. I think the nature of your addictive self-delusion sets its sights so low.