Lately, I've been able to imagine achieving “big” things in ways that feel deliberate and accessible. When I think of the music industry, there is an endless list of “gods” in their respective genres, at their respective instruments, famous and infamous, session or stage, composing, conducting, or commenting. For as time-consuming and spell-binding as music may be, many people find ways to access it at varying levels of greatness, either in listening and enjoying, or producing and playing. I can recall as a kid seeing VH1 documentaries and thinking it was almost other-worldly how you recognize and capture talent. I thought there was something mystical happening in an artist's ability to garner millions of fans or have your lyrics traverse decades.
It wasn't until relatively recently that the business and equations and methods for achieving “greatness” started to come together. There's certainly elements of luck. You should absolutely be individuated. But the world is small. If you're Eminem, someone is finding you. Once they do, the cultivating, refining, promoting, airplay, branding, etc. have more-or-less the same means of rolling out. The executives know each other. The radio stations have a price. You have to be “good,” and just in case you're not, there's a roster of songwriters, producers, or even banks of songs we can rework to match or frame you better. No one will notice the bad lyrics or lazy beat with a kickass music video or dramatic outfit and makeup.
Any industry can have that same kind of “mystifying” aura about it. I think it's that kind of veil that we habitually react stupefied in service to that protects rich people and their money. If you grant a kind of nobility towards the things you don't understand or envy, you just give them license to take advantage of you. You just create an environment that prevents them from feeling accessible or worth criticizing in ways you might apply to yourself. If I understand the mortgage crisis as “rich people lent poor people money they knew they couldn't pay back,” things come into focus. If I understand famous musicians as “15 hour days writing and recording for at least 20 years,” it's not about how brilliant any one song is. You're clued into the nature of the work, and thus, perhaps what you're not doing so you can pretend you wish you want to be like the thing you're in awe of.
So little “impresses” me. I think to say that because of this persistent flex I keep hearing about these sales trainers I've been sitting in on and their ability to make “7 figures.” Nothing they've said has made me think, challenged me, nor been as comprehensive as I've had to invent on the fly in my “sales” experience. They're all young, beautiful, and use a lot of lingo to make a lot of common sense notions of a good, curious, and informed conversation sound complicated. They've got this weirdly sincere naivety about them, which I suspect is a kind of psychological protection mechanism to keep the money flowing. If you ever come across as too needy for the props or cash or too judgmental or condescending, or worst, too aware of what you're doing, the whole sales culture would implode.
Do I blame them for something? Do I wish to hold them accountable? I mean, I hear songs I don't like every day and I don't create something personal out of it. Is it ever really a question of them “deserving” their wealth anymore than an artist who finds the right business connections? I'm not jealous of the tall buildings in the background and the YouTube-influencer vibes beaming to me from the Zoom screen. It's just...missing something. It leaves me feeling kind of gross.
In the same vein as the route to stardom though, as you listen in on more people's issues, methods, and questions, I can't ignore how “basic” and universal these spaces are. The “big guys” are buying leads to call. Hugely profitable enterprises are fumbling phone calls and promising too much. Apparently, budgeting is immensely hard for many. What should you do if you call someone who doesn't have the time? Leave them with something valuable, call-back when they do. What should you do if your money-back guarantee is bleeding you dry? Stop guaranteeing the expensive things you need paid for can be refunded. There, I saved you $2000 a month in advice.
Every day, I grow more convinced of the universality of the human experience. I grow ever confident in my choices to engage with the world and you the ways I do. I know it's not magic or necessarily brilliance that you're riding for your stature or wealth. I know you're after the exact same things emotionally or “spiritually” or in terms of entertainment and curiosity. I know when I build into my floor a certain level of honesty, demonstrated behavior and expectations, and approach to problem solving, I'm going to better navigate the universal struggles, because that's how I have the life I do now with its elevated and privileged struggles.
By the time you're working with me, you're not going to be curious what your job responsibilities are, and I'm not going to forget to pay you. I'm not going to converse with you in catch-phrases or haughty business nuspeak. I'm not going to lie, even “little” ones about what I expect when it comes to client engagement and thorough accounting of needs and action going forward. I don't take anything more seriously in life than I do the power or control I can yield over someone else's life. You shouldn't find yourself holding any less respect. The stakes may present as higher when you're talking people's addictions, convictions, or family makeup, but every professional realm conjures the high-stakes feelings.
You get bigger. You grow indefinitely in service to what you do. It's why gluttony is a sin. What should be nourishment morphs into heedless gorging for the memory of the original purpose. That's why you should work out your words and direction before you enlist others to your cause. That's why you should have a beginning, middle, and end in worlds you wish to be saying something valuable. That's why my bullshit detector goes off hardcore when what I'm told and what you wish of me doesn't match my experience of you. I start with the benefit of the doubt and goodwill, and end at the distance I need to maintain to fight for continued goodwill.
I know, or I've learned how to recognize, the steps I need to climb to be more like the person I want to be or the fleetingly small amount of people I wish to better emulate. I'd like to be nicer, and calmer, and able to experience “touching” moments with ease. I'm not going to get that way in environments that provoke criticism and anxiety for the own-goals happening each day. I want to remain open and honest about the kind of people or partners I want in my life. I can't do that if I can't talk to you because I'm too busy dancing around you, and my money, well-being, or sense of security will be threatened if I don't. I want growth that I can sustain and respect at every level, not to feel desperate to reach a certain dollar amount because my insecure ego bellows from the depths of the valley in my chest.
I'm still the torch-bearer for my experience, my ethics, work or otherwise, and the words I use to orient and mold the world into what I wish to see. Not you, not your money, not your silence, not your worst ideas about me nor even the impressively meager thousands of pages and hours under which one must get credentialed and indicate value. I don't bemoan this like some crazy pseudo anarchic-libertarian eschewing competence or regulation, I just watch a lot...maybe most...people get the easy things wrong. I certainly don't consider myself “people,” universal as my experience may be, because I tend to own my behavior as choices for reasons in service to short and long-term goals; it's not the mindless fluttering of wings to carry me away from the consequences on the winds of excuses.
I got certified as an outpatient provider that can do counseling for people struggling with addiction today. Before I got into social work, I worked people socially. Before I had any idea how low the bar was for what constituted care for people's lives (cases), I was under that fog of presumed respectability for the players tasked with handling the drama and pain that can accompany addiction, child welfare, or different court systems. The fog was lifted, and I'm now combining my business sense, social capacity, and method for unpacking the nature of my goals and why into what may be the most robust, consistent, and profitable thing I can deliver on indefinitely. I didn't have to lie about my motivations, success, or grievances. I didn't force myself to partner with someone I had to swallow out of desperation (which is true both in the past and now). I ensured my floor was established in this inexpensive yet spiritually fulfilling living environment before I ventured out into the 3-month waiting/start-up/learning period.
I did the work. I have the memories and experience. I've built the trust. I've watched how I compare to those around me. I genuinely want to be me more than anything or anyone else. I want everything I do to be infused with the power and perspective I've worked for and granted myself. I want it to be felt. I want you to watch it unfold like each dose of character I add to my land. I want the common cause and nature to translate well-beyond my attempts at garbled thought digressions. I want the money to show you what I'm really doing, if it can, that you've just been too polite to speak to so far.
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