I'm hung up on the idea of “people
are only human.”
I think this is often employed when
someone has reached the end of their ability to justify or explain
something. Imagine a child asks, “Why are we still fighting wars?”
given that not enough adults seem to care to ask, and they'll receive
a pat on the head with an explanation that humans are violent and
irrational and we can only expect as much given how unbelievably
afraid of everything they are.
Already this seems to want to bump into
a set of cliches. One being “give it time.” The other, “it
doesn't matter.” We can explain to that child that history is on
our side. As horrible as we think war is now, what we're getting is
merely a snapshot of the amount of people who have died from not only
war but terrible diseases too. As well, you're just a child, it
shouldn't concern you that people are killing each other. Just hang
on to your childhood because holy shit are you in for a ride.
I think these kinds of sentiments carry
a certain wisdom of the past. Until recently, there wasn't much you
could know. You were as enabled or restricted by your area or family.
If you were a genius farmer, there was no Mensa waiting ready with
open arms, you were just going to farm until you died, maybe with
some pretty sick modifications to your tractor.
It's fair to say I have an extremely
bleak conception of humanity. I don't do well with stories about our
achievements. I've never experienced much “awe” whether we're
learning more about the universe or figuring out how to replace blood
cells or cure cancer. I think all that shit is cool, don't get me
wrong, but I haven't really experienced a “calling” if you will.
I'm suspicious of people who have.
The closest thing I had to it was when
I finally started to run a business. But, it was nothing to do with
my love affair with coffee,
it simply got me dreaming about experimenting. Just playing,
essentially. There's a laundry list of businesses I think I'd like to
get into. I think my habits and ideas would do a lot to spur
motivation and inspiration in a lot of people. I think I could do a
lot of good for people or the world in general. I'm realizing as time
goes on, I don't know why I'd care to.
In the
mash-up of my thoughts at the moment, I watched a video of a homeless
guy talking about having it all, going to jail, and trying to connect
with people in the digital age. 1 in 10 he estimates might stop to
help you if you're bleeding on the side of the road. 1 in 1,000,000
will sit there and talk with him after being moved by his song. He
tries to connect with people who he “thought were pretty good
friends from school” and they don't have the time for a ten minute
conversation but will airily text for 2 hours. While my experiences
may not have reached the extremes of his, the sentiments ring with
the kind of dark truth you rarely find people willing to talk about.
I
wonder how much of his complaints can be blamed on the digital era or
how much the digital era just brought out and put on display the
worst of humanity. Of course you don't need
ISIS videos of people cutting off heads, but you're now aware of
something in a kind of way you never were prompted to feel reading a
history book. Every beleaguered voice gets to share the witticisms of
their particular trolls. Groups that are demonstrably terrible show
you their impact by using our modern tools
to usher us back into repressive ignorance.
I
struggle with hearing about “great men.”I can sit and watch all
day documentaries about people who have shaped the country or are
currently shaping the planet. The stories often seem to uplift,
intimidate, or exhaust you. Most people don't function well
perpetually nervous or mildly psychotic, but then, at least one was
Teddy Roosevelt. A man with certainly enough personality flaws and
personal tragedy to choke a mere mortal
to death also punched a hole straight through history. You can read
about Elon Musk feeling a “pain point” having to stop working to
eat because he knows how far we are from the kind of innovation
needed to keep people in perpetuation. He tells share holders not to
expect their money back any time soon. Is he one of the most amazing
and selfless fools in existence? It's that, what are we supposed to
take away?
I try
to humanize. I try to think about the context. The Roosevelt's are
not the Roosevelt's without money. A smart person is at the behest
and limits of their brain, the one they were born with or how it was
conditioned. A brain can rise to the level of it's tools and
playground. If your playground is littered with violence and
ignorance the odds stack against you. If you're environment is
quickly killing off species and making it harder to breath, the
problem further still. If you're floating through space amidst an
infinite black void of cold impersonality, fuck the Panama Canal you
egomaniac.
How do
people make the case for “will” or “morals?” I don't mean to
sound obtuse or that there aren't philosophers. The best I can land
on is to try and strike a “balance,” whatever that is supposed to
mean. As in, we know shit hurts and how to alleviate it. So to the
extent we're not balancing out our knowledge with the ability to
alleviate the hurt, “the universe” shouldn't be happy. I'm not
talking about a kind of personality or god.
I
think there's a certain point where you have to blame people for
their ignorance more than ignorance itself. If we're truly tired of
war, stop voting for people who fill the pockets of companies that
build war machines. Years from now when I read this back, it's today
a couple thousand hummers we gave to Iraq are now in the hands of
ISIS. So what are we doing as well? Militarizing Africa. The balance
between our information and courses of action are clearly fucked.
It
doesn't matter if you're selfless when the majority of people can or
only want to take advantage. My grandparents gave everything to their
kids who, apart from my dad, shit all over their memory. The Venus
Project can talk all day about a resource based economy and how to
innovate and allocate our way out of much of the world's problems. I
don't point them out as “saviors” as I do for what happens when you
try to persistently apply “the future” onto people steeped in
capitalism or selfishness.
I
think it's after you watch so much of the same pattern and feel
nothing or too much over and again, you start to find a nobility in
death. Once you prove to yourself that you're not “as bad” or
maybe “as merely human” you can drift away telling people all you
can do is try for other people because you're not getting shit in
return. Or maybe you got everything you deserved in being born into
the life you got; an equally self-aggrandizing and provoking suicide
sentiment.
I
don't know. I'm on my couch. I just watched Bicentennial Man, where a
comedian I eulogized depicts a robot who just wanted to die
recognized for all his humanity.
This pairs well.
This pairs well.
