This is going to be the speculation one does when they grew up quasi-lower-middle class enough to have their dreams tempered, but remain in that sweet spot of aspirational innovative motivation that drives the future.
The last 3 days I worked 39 hours. I made $662. As a “poor” person, this means more than 3 “rent payments,” 3 months of health insurance, a new phone and a year of payments, the internet bill for almost a year, most every expensive item I have in my amazon wishlist, and way more than enough to impress drunk idiots at the bar as who’s got us all covered; just keep smiling and poorly dancing.
I feel I can start to do that rich person thing where I flirt with the future. I don’t think my circumstances are long for the world of being compelled by the immediacy of some daming obligation and mental rental box.
So what does my future look like?
To be sure, I still need to buy all of the things like farm equipment, and the work to make the garage livable is a solid weekend I haven’t taken the time for, but why should we pretend those aren’t forgone conclusions?
The week after I’m comfortable, I call up Jeremy and get his girl Kari to do the next iteration of the map. What’s $500 to a poor person without bills? About 2 days of open to close order delivering.
If I don’t immediately do that, I pack up and visit Wendy, HatSam, Gough, and Rachel for a week. Plane tickets are less than $300 round trip, I can not only buy the drinks, but not regret fancier meals that I’m sure Mike and Rachel have become accustomed to given their rich white stature.
Okay, so I’ve made some progress on my website, visited some people I was supposed to a few months earlier, then what? Well, $650 is way more than necessary to build an extension on my house with straw bales, so I do that. We’re at about a month, month and a half total time, only 3 days each week. So maybe every month or so I build a new room? Weather and will permitting, why not?
3 solid weekends is fixing the moving truck and getting it on the streets. 2 days is the cost of contacts or a visit to the dentist. 2 or 3 months is new smaller plots I can expand or develop. 1 month is most of what I envision for the greenhouse combined with what’s already stockpiled, Jake. Let me get the workings of the Tough Mudder course from Erin (you really need to put Rin back in your name) and price the wood and heavy equipment rental fees. Let me branch off into salvage, recycling, or simple reselling of things I show up to pick up for free first habitually.
The train is moving. Fuck studies, I still work like a dog and sacrifice lifetime and limb to make it as immediate as possible. Creativity is bread from struggle? Then I aspire to be the most boring fuck you’ve ever met here shortly. When I’m like 35, maybe 40, having lived too many lives and am ready to die except for the part that goes through with anything, it’ll be because I saw myself as I am right then as I am right now. Aside from all the built in random surprises and opportunities you can’t see coming, I’m already doing the work and making the money to explore the myriad ideas I have that could go everywhere or nowhere. This is ungodly liberating and simultaneously my death sentence. Like Louis C.K. getting famous, your problems and perspective just aren’t the same.
The real question will be, who’s on board? When I post that status, “Hey, I have a couple grand just sitting here, who wants to travel to Torino and chill for a bit?” Will you say yes? Or will we have to plan months in advance and exchange “info” and dance? When you have an idea that you’ve always wanted to pursue and I’m like, “Dude, take this and work” are you going to chuck that weird white guilt thing out and just do what you and I both want you to do without having the word “handout” echo in the back of your head? But probably the most serious question, when I fly you out to party, are you actually going to drink like you’re not a bitch?
This remains to be seen. But if you’re getting as old as I am and years feel like months feel like days, then you’re going to read this blog when you do, and tomorrow you’re going to see me harping on the instances I’ve raised and we’re going to find out if you’ve done the mental homework to roll. Just to reiterate, we’re not talking theoreticals anymore. I worked for 3 days and made more in those 3 days than I would have spending 3 nights at a study. My catalyst is firmly rooted in my propensity to work, which is firmly rooted in spite and condemnation for how little my ethics compare to the world at large. The future I describe is going to happen. Are you as there already as I am?
