I want to explore humility and being humble. I find the concepts generally laughable. Usually you should be humbled by your ignorance to avoid some kind of downfall. The lower opinion you hold of your place or accomplishments, the greater the high of wins perhaps? I seem to see people employ it when they want to try and knock someone down for something they’ve accomplished. As opposed to knocking how they said something, the very fact of their statement suggests a head too large or ego out of check. As with a great many things in life, I find this level of irony excruciating and telling.
What does it really mean to have a big ego? How closely related is it to self-esteem? You certainly wouldn’t say it’s wrong to like yourself. You would probably think someone was off if they liked every single one of their own statuses or pictures. There’s a range, and people don’t like the idea that you don’t give much weight to the things about you that aren’t likeable. Aren’t I the complete opposite of this? Don’t I lean in and give a dozen more reasons for why we won’t get along first? The general theme of this being provoked by a gentleman who insisted I “humble myself” after I called a dumb thing dumb.
My ego is flavored by the good and bad. I was having a conversation about helping the poor with my friend today. I often view it as a pat on the back for yourself by getting involved and doing little things here and there. People are exceedingly happy to help “just one person” if they sponsor a child or donate a poor country’s GDP a month. I don’t do anything like that. I don’t claim to be capable of helping the poor like that and considering it help. The poor need a system level change and to be able to define their lives on their own terms. Until I can do that, I’m not pretending I’m helping. I go a step further and say we often cause more harm than we care to realize in our wanton approach to congratulating ourselves.
What do you call simple honesty like that? Is it not humble to say you’re comfortable sacrificing “just one child” until you can figure out a general way to approach poverty comprehensively? Or is having that goal another mere expression of an inflated ego? Who could create something like that? Someone who doesn’t believe they could or doesn’t think they have the obligation to at least try? Or is it that you should be sponsoring children in the meantime? I know there’s a philosophical school of thought that escapes me that would claim it’s immoral to spend a single cent in service to yourself while someone else is suffering. I don’t buy into it.
I don’t know how to “be humble” to any greater degree than I currently exhibit. I work 70 hour weeks. I take responsibility for more shit than I’m ever due. I put my failures on blast and try to wrap my head around them for weeks or years. I’m allowed to use my brain in a more effective way than you might recognize or agree with. I can call you dumb if you’re dumb. I can put aside the things you take great pride in achieving and shoot for exponentially higher levels. I can do it working “regular” jobs and doing drug studies. I can do it in the dirt or the office. I don’t hold any real respect for my “complaints” anymore than I try to surround myself with people giving themselves every excuse to suck worse than me.
How about you be honest. How about you grow a pair and stick by your stupid words and mischaracterizations. How about you keep your insecurities and faux patience and resolve and I’ll keep calling you fucking stupid when you apply yourself to people you feel superior over. I don’t need to be more humble, you need to stop being a lying pussy.
