I wish I could provide a summary. I
wish that summary was adequate and sufficient. I'm aware it's kind of
a stupid wish. I'm positive this is going to sound all over the
place.
If the analogies to this reality being a video game are true, then I think I'd be running an experiment on myself. I'd be engaging in a ton of trial and error. I'd have no idea what the “end game” was. I'd never learn anything while being constantly reminded of what I forgot, ironically, now re-awoken to what I needed.
I don't want to have the wrong kind of sympathy. Empathy is vitally important and we need it to be exercised way more often. At the same time, when it goes overboard, the result is abuse. I read old dialogues I used to get into on religion. People were quick to agree with the idea of fear and how you “need” something to believe in. They understood their own fears, so it became license for other people to mask theirs.
I can't tell if I'm habitually “too harsh” on myself and other people. My instinct is to say no. My “harshness” is on display towards myself. My effort remotely quantified. I crave accountability, but I've set it up in a way to make you work as hard as I feel I have to question me. I miss accountability. I miss being quoted and challenged. I miss the discussions my friends in college would provoke.
And I think that idea makes me worried. This time 6 years ago I can see a friend comment about how afraid people are of being alone. A sufficiently haunting sentiment that seems to belay their current relationship trajectory.
I think the isolation of “growing up” became as real as I predicted (reiterated) it would. People used to value “stupid online conversations” that are now “well, I know who I am and what they think, so fuck it.” The active thought and excitement to jump into the fray reduced to background anxiety and “politeness.”
Something very important has been lost.
If the analogies to this reality being a video game are true, then I think I'd be running an experiment on myself. I'd be engaging in a ton of trial and error. I'd have no idea what the “end game” was. I'd never learn anything while being constantly reminded of what I forgot, ironically, now re-awoken to what I needed.
I don't want to have the wrong kind of sympathy. Empathy is vitally important and we need it to be exercised way more often. At the same time, when it goes overboard, the result is abuse. I read old dialogues I used to get into on religion. People were quick to agree with the idea of fear and how you “need” something to believe in. They understood their own fears, so it became license for other people to mask theirs.
I can't tell if I'm habitually “too harsh” on myself and other people. My instinct is to say no. My “harshness” is on display towards myself. My effort remotely quantified. I crave accountability, but I've set it up in a way to make you work as hard as I feel I have to question me. I miss accountability. I miss being quoted and challenged. I miss the discussions my friends in college would provoke.
And I think that idea makes me worried. This time 6 years ago I can see a friend comment about how afraid people are of being alone. A sufficiently haunting sentiment that seems to belay their current relationship trajectory.
I think the isolation of “growing up” became as real as I predicted (reiterated) it would. People used to value “stupid online conversations” that are now “well, I know who I am and what they think, so fuck it.” The active thought and excitement to jump into the fray reduced to background anxiety and “politeness.”
Something very important has been lost.
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