Monday,
October 19, 2009 at 1:48am
I
don't believe when I say something "hurtful" I am speaking
"evil." I should preface that with, I don't believe people
get hurt to any extent than they allow themselves to hurt themselves.
You can only claim things to have "hurt" me when you said
them to me as either a kid or when they imposed some edict or
restriction that served to physically stop me from doing something. I
worked extremely hard, as it's more a general learned disposition
now, to be at peace at it is the reason I'm almost insufferably laid
back when people think I should be reacting to something with the
same frenzied fervor they are.
I don't believe in love, nor sin. To clarify, love is a dramatized word that can allude to much more applicable and understandable words and scenarios. I do believe in, at least conceptually, desperation, deep feeling, increased heart beats, obsessive thoughts, wanting to nurture offspring, unhealthy attachment, finding someone's disposition agreeable, settling for what you can get, etc ad infinitum of what people simply call "love." With sin, it's easy to believe that if I don't believe in magic, I don't believe in it's power to condemn me.
When I truly "hurt someone," or again, provoke or incite them to hurt themselves on the basis of my words, it's overwhelmingly because I've said something true. Moreover, when I say something that demoralizing or demeaning, it's because people understand I'm so bleedingly honest, they can trust I actually do loathe them to that extent. This is something I take pride in, honesty, and making people cry and hate me for it. When other people attempt to "put me down" I literally, and I stress literally, forget them as people, let alone what they've said. Them being so far removed from reality it's genuinely hard for people to think of the "right" kind of thing to throw me off, and provided they were able to, my natural response would render it pointless anyway.
Any and all animosity I have toward you is because I've judged your utility and your rationality to be severely at odds with what I find acceptable to continue my normal chill and happy life. When someone causes me nothing but stress, impedes or discourages rational discourse through denial or pity pleas, and most importantly has some sort of overwhelming propensity to deny who they are and own up to all the terrible things it allows them to play out as in life, I have two choices. I can keep engaging you, spit on my own reasoning, or I can cut you off and provide subtle hints through slander and frankly pointless rants "pleading" you to wake up to your self and the reality of the situation.
We don't have a broken relationship, we have an impossibly meager one. We've an "ever spiraling down until I have no further reason to talk to you" relationship. If that bothers you, blame yourself, fix something, and start over. Given that it doesn't bother me, the onus is on you to get what you want. You're consumed by your propensity to make people bend to your will. Well, if you truly want to have any semblance of productive or "healthy" relationship with me, you'll own up to that fact, compel yourself to grow up and be reasonable, and that's what will tell me who you are becoming or want to be, because those are the only people I want to be around. Until then, bible verses are empty, pity pleas are empty, and tears and "life is short" cliches will always get you nowhere. You want something out of me, learn how to deal with yourself.
I don't believe in love, nor sin. To clarify, love is a dramatized word that can allude to much more applicable and understandable words and scenarios. I do believe in, at least conceptually, desperation, deep feeling, increased heart beats, obsessive thoughts, wanting to nurture offspring, unhealthy attachment, finding someone's disposition agreeable, settling for what you can get, etc ad infinitum of what people simply call "love." With sin, it's easy to believe that if I don't believe in magic, I don't believe in it's power to condemn me.
When I truly "hurt someone," or again, provoke or incite them to hurt themselves on the basis of my words, it's overwhelmingly because I've said something true. Moreover, when I say something that demoralizing or demeaning, it's because people understand I'm so bleedingly honest, they can trust I actually do loathe them to that extent. This is something I take pride in, honesty, and making people cry and hate me for it. When other people attempt to "put me down" I literally, and I stress literally, forget them as people, let alone what they've said. Them being so far removed from reality it's genuinely hard for people to think of the "right" kind of thing to throw me off, and provided they were able to, my natural response would render it pointless anyway.
Any and all animosity I have toward you is because I've judged your utility and your rationality to be severely at odds with what I find acceptable to continue my normal chill and happy life. When someone causes me nothing but stress, impedes or discourages rational discourse through denial or pity pleas, and most importantly has some sort of overwhelming propensity to deny who they are and own up to all the terrible things it allows them to play out as in life, I have two choices. I can keep engaging you, spit on my own reasoning, or I can cut you off and provide subtle hints through slander and frankly pointless rants "pleading" you to wake up to your self and the reality of the situation.
We don't have a broken relationship, we have an impossibly meager one. We've an "ever spiraling down until I have no further reason to talk to you" relationship. If that bothers you, blame yourself, fix something, and start over. Given that it doesn't bother me, the onus is on you to get what you want. You're consumed by your propensity to make people bend to your will. Well, if you truly want to have any semblance of productive or "healthy" relationship with me, you'll own up to that fact, compel yourself to grow up and be reasonable, and that's what will tell me who you are becoming or want to be, because those are the only people I want to be around. Until then, bible verses are empty, pity pleas are empty, and tears and "life is short" cliches will always get you nowhere. You want something out of me, learn how to deal with yourself.
