Tuesday,
September 22, 2009 at 5:56am
I
hate everybody. I damn them often. They are sheep who refuse to
think, who deny what in fact they do think, and live in fear of
people who shouldn't grace a gas station restroom let alone their
thoughts or presence. The worst part of this is, to a greater extent
than they realize, I can understand them. And because of this, you
can only damn them so far. When you're in a situation, surrounded
with friends perhaps, or at the very least people you can get along
with relatively well, there are countless dynamics at play which may
influence who you choose to be. For the longest time I didn't drink.
This wasn't because of some personal bias I had against drinking
(other than the taste of beer), or because I was somehow worried I
would take it too far or get "addicted," it was because of
everything associated with college guy and alcohol. A very simple
example of me wanting and acting like someone different to assert how
little I wanted to be associated with all the negative and ridiculous
reasons people drink. Over time I got to know my friends better, it
became legal (not to say the illegality was that big a deterrent),
and I started to trust more that my friends weren't drinking out of
desperation, boredom (usually), or to make themselves retarded. The
problem remains, there are still a gross amount of people that do,
and who do all sorts of other ridiculous behaviors for those pathetic
reasons.
I've thought for a while that most things boil down to fear. I look at frat boys and think they've generally joined out of insecurity and fear of being ostracized. When you don't want to be alone, you go and join a pack of wolves...group of guys...and don your brother "status." I know of others who join for the practical networking reasons and ability to gain power, but that's hardly the reason I think is most prevalent. Then you look at the girls who are all enamored by these boys. They all wear the same cheap dress, talk with the same empty air, are usually balls ugly, and somehow find it funny or merely coincidental it wasn't them who was roofied at the last party. (You may also recognize them in their older form trolling the bars with a desperate twinkling plea in their eyes) Individuals aside, the whole crowd has the same fear in common. Fear of leaving what they know, fear of thinking about something that may change them, or fear of not being able to deal with whatever implications come after they admit what they see around them is wrong. I see people who are so much better than "friends" they would associate with and it's gut wrenching. I see people willing to work themselves into an early grave because their title in four to ten years is more important than any life lesson gleaming in the background. An inability to recognize, openly state the problem, then act accordingly about something or someone perpetuates these kinds of scenarios.
This doesn't mean it is wrong to work hard, and it doesn't mean that you can't accept flaws in people for what they are. What it does mean, is that you need to own up to all that you see and all that your friends either are or aren't. I remember the times when I started wishing I could loose all hope. I think to myself how lonely at the "top" it is. Surrounded sometimes by people who not only don't want to think, but are loud and proud about how eagerly they are to deny something or pretend. And I have to think to myself, what the hell can I seek to accomplish? What kind of example am I being if it's to people who literally can't understand how or why I think and do? It's as if I'm in another dimension, not just on a higher level. It's so tempting to just break down then. Just conform. If you hate all that you see, but living in opposition to that, you still hate all you see, why not make it bearable on yourself and just fit in? Don't make waves and fill in cliche moments.
The problem with that is that it isn't "all I see" it's just the overwhelming majority of what I see. There is so much potential in people who need to just be willing to wake up, and own up, to everything they think and see. If I'm able to talk about almost any topic in my "depressing" (more accurate: realistic and practical) manner, to strangers in the halls of Ballantine, and they can at least give a nod that they've at one point empathized with me, then there has to be some sort of hope. People HAVE to be thinking, and they have to be finding conclusions whether they are comfortable with the full implications of them or not. And that's what I always have to fall back on. I suffer people who don't think or can't entertain a real conversation with me, but at least I'm the one in control of the pain. By breaking, I'm giving everyone a stake to put in me whenever they so choose. I bleed for their pleasure, not my struggle.
As far as the implications are concerned, this is what's going to signify whether you're really thinking about something or not. If you're a christian who can agree with and state all the problems with "religion," all you've really done for me is show how you can jump on a bandwagon that attacks a mere word. You don't really appreciate what that title does to enable and empower, excuse or deny. You don't really acknowledge that it can imply all sorts of ridiculous and negative things about you that need not be even remotely true or accurate, but nonetheless you feel comfortable with the title and can confidently state your position about the negatives in religion. But that is the easy one. When it comes to other things, life decisions, habits, and friends, hardly the level of thinking necessary ever goes into really understanding what your relationship with someone says about you or them, and how that translates into the future. Sure, you want to be polite or civil with Empty Clone Girl, but what are either of you getting out of that interaction? Okay, you've dealt with demeaning comments and ridiculous assholes your entire life, why does it somehow mean you want to keep doing it for the rest of it? If you're going to sacrifice yourself, make it on your terms for people you deem worth it, not objectively empty shells of people.
This is why I wish people were impossibly concerned with themselves. It makes them more disposed to act and behave in ways that will bring about happiness, and stop excusing the pain. If you don't have interests, ideas, or an ability to open up to something, you shouldn't exist. Die. Leave the thinkers and doers alone and hasten your already apparent demise. You literally don't matter beyond a point of disrupting and demoralizing the world around you, and practice to keep it that way. By contrast, if you are a thinker, if you do really see people for what they are, but make a habit of excusing it or ignoring it because you can't shake your mental paradigm. Get over it. Help yourself to real people and genuine fun. What you know isn't what's always best, and if you have the opportunity to change and the atmosphere open to helping you, you'll regret the rest of your life by not doing so. I've said before that the reason there is so much bullshit propagated and problems with our condition is because we enable the know-nothings. You silence is the quickest way their naive and petty disposition comes around to fuck you in significantly crippling ways.
At present, if I've tagged you it's because I don't think of you like this, but we're all still subject to moments and people that resonate with these ideas. If I could have a conversation with one of you and strengthen our relationship every time I was in some superficial conversation or empty situation, I'd take it instantly, and I'll try to be the kind of person that appreciates the kind of friends you've been towards me and people I know you truly are.
I've thought for a while that most things boil down to fear. I look at frat boys and think they've generally joined out of insecurity and fear of being ostracized. When you don't want to be alone, you go and join a pack of wolves...group of guys...and don your brother "status." I know of others who join for the practical networking reasons and ability to gain power, but that's hardly the reason I think is most prevalent. Then you look at the girls who are all enamored by these boys. They all wear the same cheap dress, talk with the same empty air, are usually balls ugly, and somehow find it funny or merely coincidental it wasn't them who was roofied at the last party. (You may also recognize them in their older form trolling the bars with a desperate twinkling plea in their eyes) Individuals aside, the whole crowd has the same fear in common. Fear of leaving what they know, fear of thinking about something that may change them, or fear of not being able to deal with whatever implications come after they admit what they see around them is wrong. I see people who are so much better than "friends" they would associate with and it's gut wrenching. I see people willing to work themselves into an early grave because their title in four to ten years is more important than any life lesson gleaming in the background. An inability to recognize, openly state the problem, then act accordingly about something or someone perpetuates these kinds of scenarios.
This doesn't mean it is wrong to work hard, and it doesn't mean that you can't accept flaws in people for what they are. What it does mean, is that you need to own up to all that you see and all that your friends either are or aren't. I remember the times when I started wishing I could loose all hope. I think to myself how lonely at the "top" it is. Surrounded sometimes by people who not only don't want to think, but are loud and proud about how eagerly they are to deny something or pretend. And I have to think to myself, what the hell can I seek to accomplish? What kind of example am I being if it's to people who literally can't understand how or why I think and do? It's as if I'm in another dimension, not just on a higher level. It's so tempting to just break down then. Just conform. If you hate all that you see, but living in opposition to that, you still hate all you see, why not make it bearable on yourself and just fit in? Don't make waves and fill in cliche moments.
The problem with that is that it isn't "all I see" it's just the overwhelming majority of what I see. There is so much potential in people who need to just be willing to wake up, and own up, to everything they think and see. If I'm able to talk about almost any topic in my "depressing" (more accurate: realistic and practical) manner, to strangers in the halls of Ballantine, and they can at least give a nod that they've at one point empathized with me, then there has to be some sort of hope. People HAVE to be thinking, and they have to be finding conclusions whether they are comfortable with the full implications of them or not. And that's what I always have to fall back on. I suffer people who don't think or can't entertain a real conversation with me, but at least I'm the one in control of the pain. By breaking, I'm giving everyone a stake to put in me whenever they so choose. I bleed for their pleasure, not my struggle.
As far as the implications are concerned, this is what's going to signify whether you're really thinking about something or not. If you're a christian who can agree with and state all the problems with "religion," all you've really done for me is show how you can jump on a bandwagon that attacks a mere word. You don't really appreciate what that title does to enable and empower, excuse or deny. You don't really acknowledge that it can imply all sorts of ridiculous and negative things about you that need not be even remotely true or accurate, but nonetheless you feel comfortable with the title and can confidently state your position about the negatives in religion. But that is the easy one. When it comes to other things, life decisions, habits, and friends, hardly the level of thinking necessary ever goes into really understanding what your relationship with someone says about you or them, and how that translates into the future. Sure, you want to be polite or civil with Empty Clone Girl, but what are either of you getting out of that interaction? Okay, you've dealt with demeaning comments and ridiculous assholes your entire life, why does it somehow mean you want to keep doing it for the rest of it? If you're going to sacrifice yourself, make it on your terms for people you deem worth it, not objectively empty shells of people.
This is why I wish people were impossibly concerned with themselves. It makes them more disposed to act and behave in ways that will bring about happiness, and stop excusing the pain. If you don't have interests, ideas, or an ability to open up to something, you shouldn't exist. Die. Leave the thinkers and doers alone and hasten your already apparent demise. You literally don't matter beyond a point of disrupting and demoralizing the world around you, and practice to keep it that way. By contrast, if you are a thinker, if you do really see people for what they are, but make a habit of excusing it or ignoring it because you can't shake your mental paradigm. Get over it. Help yourself to real people and genuine fun. What you know isn't what's always best, and if you have the opportunity to change and the atmosphere open to helping you, you'll regret the rest of your life by not doing so. I've said before that the reason there is so much bullshit propagated and problems with our condition is because we enable the know-nothings. You silence is the quickest way their naive and petty disposition comes around to fuck you in significantly crippling ways.
At present, if I've tagged you it's because I don't think of you like this, but we're all still subject to moments and people that resonate with these ideas. If I could have a conversation with one of you and strengthen our relationship every time I was in some superficial conversation or empty situation, I'd take it instantly, and I'll try to be the kind of person that appreciates the kind of friends you've been towards me and people I know you truly are.
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Written
about 5 months ago · Comment · LikeUnlike
Very
strong argument, being the cause of the stereotypical college student
is fear. I'd turn fear into something more specific, being fear of
acceptance. The typical college bimbo, the drunk frat guy,
reinforcing the idea that every college student gets hammered every
night. All they're trying to do is boost their college popularity. I
still don't ... See Moreunderstand what makes you "cool" if
you can take the most shots without puking, or "hot" if you
have the typical Jersey Shore fake tan and bleached hair (fucking
oompa-loompas), but in the college realm, I guess that's just
something we can't alter. (Fine with me, less competition to do
productive things.)
I find it funny that you consider saying shit how it is "depressing." Well, that being other people find it depressing. I do it all the time, and see where you're coming from. I suppose people are too used to hearing things sugar-coated.
I find it funny that you consider saying shit how it is "depressing." Well, that being other people find it depressing. I do it all the time, and see where you're coming from. I suppose people are too used to hearing things sugar-coated.
September
22, 2009 at 8:32am ·
People
put up that wall, act like a fake person, try and cover up the real
them, and try to fit in to a crowd because of (like you stated) fear.
People find it easier to be someone they're not because in the case
someone doesn't like that version of them it doesn't really matter
because they can simply just alter the version they have created of
... See Morethemself or portrayed as the real them to somehow find a
way to "fit in." i use the term "fit in" loosely
because it is defined as however you see fit. i always attempt to
live my life the way I want to and be the guy I want to. like most
people i'm sure there have been times where i changed a portion of my
self to feel a part of some crowd. it is hard for many people to be
themself or define themself, they find it easier to let someone or
something else do it for them. i feel that all persons should act as
they want to and be who they want to and anyone that doesn't like the
real you can fuck off. that is a little ambitious because the
September
22, 2009 at 9:50am ·
world
is too scared of rejection so they just revert back to the fake them
to make themselves feel better.
September
22, 2009 at 9:50am ·
I
agree with your argument that people are truly afraid to be
themselves. But the optimist in me always argues that people that do
this aren't completely hopeless. While it is the job of those in the
know to educate them so they may see the light, it is no one's job to
judge them. It can only be hoped that those who try to unsuccessfully
remove the wool from the eyes of such misguided people may experience
a sense of satisfaction, knowing you've done the best you could to
help them.
September
22, 2009 at 1:36pm ·
Nick,
I've always thought of you to be a humanist - one who is thoroughly
insightful and intuitive in just about every aspect of the
ever-complex human condition. People become humanists because they've
been at to hell and can see the other side and know what it takes to
help others cross over.
In a way, though you are not a religious person, you ... See Moremay be considered by some to be a spiritual guide, and people can look to you for advice that doesn't offer empty comfort or absolute transparency. With that said, I encourage you to continue to encourage the state of humanity. I say this because the intelligence and insight you have work to your advantage, people like you are empaths- those rare smooth diamonds amongst shards of glass that feels every shift humankind takes. It's truly a blessing. Own it and be the change you wish to see in the world AND IN YOURSELF, because you are one of the rare individuals that can handle it.
In a way, though you are not a religious person, you ... See Moremay be considered by some to be a spiritual guide, and people can look to you for advice that doesn't offer empty comfort or absolute transparency. With that said, I encourage you to continue to encourage the state of humanity. I say this because the intelligence and insight you have work to your advantage, people like you are empaths- those rare smooth diamonds amongst shards of glass that feels every shift humankind takes. It's truly a blessing. Own it and be the change you wish to see in the world AND IN YOURSELF, because you are one of the rare individuals that can handle it.
September
22, 2009 at 1:40pm ·
It's
simply because not enough people have accepted the "fuck it"
mindset. They don't understand that it really shouldn't matter what
others think of you and so in essence, you're right, it is fear. But
it's not necessarily the fear you think it is. It's not a fear of
being unaccepted or socially rejected by one's peers. It's a fear of
being ... See Morealone. Ask almost anyone and they will tell you
that one of their biggest fears in life is being alone forever. The
college population is filled with such stereotype, that they have
trouble accepting that being outside this stereotype doesn't mean
they won't be able to find anyone they can relate too. Therefore,
they find no choice but to conform and surround themselves by other
conformists just to ease their comfort and reminded themselves that
they will not be alone because, oh dear, look at all the friendships
they have paid for. Not only literally paid for (in terms of
fraternities and sororities), but paid for in the sense of loosing
September
22, 2009 at 2:21pm ·
their
personal identity. I believe on the inside of some of those frat
rats, skanks, and drunken frat guys, there is some intelligence...
or, there used to be. Granted, there are some people who aren't as
intellectually drowned as I'm giving them credit for... but like you
said, they don't contribute anything to society or themselves so
let's just count them out of life.
September
22, 2009 at 2:23pm ·
nick,
cut people some slack, will ya? leave them alone and you should just
move up to michigan next door to me :) to my surprise, i even
personally like some of those people you mentioned because in some
ways they're being honest to what they know. so what can i do? hate
them? nah, i'd rather pity them, and like them for their good
intentions and maybe other likable traits, and hang out with you and
mc.
by the way, it was great seeing you again!
by the way, it was great seeing you again!
September
22, 2009 at 4:40pm ·
I've
been down this path since middle school, if you are interested I'll
tell you how it went.
September
22, 2009 at 9:48pm ·
Oh
Jake, do tell.
September
22, 2009 at 10:40pm ·
Tommy,
I don't think that people can use their unconscious mind as an excuse not to think. I don't actually find myself unintentionally doing things to fit in with people. I know all of the good and bad reasons, and what purpose they serve, for any social encounter I choose to enter. The main point there, regardless of who I associate with, I was ... See Morethe one making the decision, thinking about what I wanted, and proceeded as necessary. I'm well aware we are animals.
When it comes to how they treat others, I find it almost insulting for people to treat me as superficially as they "unconsciously choose" to behave. I care very little about how they talk or dress, but if they surround themselves with empty people, I see someone either mentally suffocating themselves, or who may want to be like them, which could only come about through bad reasons.
I don't think that people can use their unconscious mind as an excuse not to think. I don't actually find myself unintentionally doing things to fit in with people. I know all of the good and bad reasons, and what purpose they serve, for any social encounter I choose to enter. The main point there, regardless of who I associate with, I was ... See Morethe one making the decision, thinking about what I wanted, and proceeded as necessary. I'm well aware we are animals.
When it comes to how they treat others, I find it almost insulting for people to treat me as superficially as they "unconsciously choose" to behave. I care very little about how they talk or dress, but if they surround themselves with empty people, I see someone either mentally suffocating themselves, or who may want to be like them, which could only come about through bad reasons.
September
24, 2009 at 1:07pm ·
"As
they see it" means nothing to me if it isn't reasoned. In fact,
in my view, they don't really see anything to begin with, and they
act thusly when spewing that shit they are full of.
September
24, 2009 at 3:43pm ·
There
goes Nick being negative and shit...
September
24, 2009 at 4:09pm
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