As it goes with most major holidays,
birthdays, or general classically exciting human social events, I
tend to be awake long into the morning and try to tap into the “buzz”
in the air and maintain a coherent digression of thoughts.
What’s the “true” nature of
things? From a context of asking about the entire universe, we may
never know. When you look at a relationship, you can usually tell a
story about how the people have either fucked over or helped each
other, and given some time reference, you try to gauge just how close
or “in love” they may be. When you look at yourself the picture
can seemingly change day to day, especially if you end up
experiencing something traumatic or deeply meaningful. The easiest
cop out answer is to say the “true” nature of things is whatever
you choose to believe. Your perspective and your understanding being
all that matter. I am of the idea that in order to tell a worthwhile
story about what’s true, you have to remove yourself from the story
as best you can.
Now on its face, this seems
disingenuous. Surely, we are all a part of the collective story. Our
perspective should matter. In fact, where do I get off writing if I
didn’t see some merit or value in “my” ideas and manner of
speaking them? It’s at this point that we need to get around a
semantic problem. I, me, and my I think are our best attempt so far
at describing what a collection of synapses makes us feel. My head
tends to predispose me to thinking that we are observers;
manifestations of the “collective everything” that organizes and
seeks to understand through observation. This isn’t really a point
I plan to get into in a blog for it’s really a sort of out there
philosophical notion I play with based from a bastardized
understanding of talks on quantum mechanics, but there it is
nonetheless.
The real point is that when try to talk
about something, I truly feel like an observer reporting what’s in
front of me. It is in those reports that I hope people will tend to
see the same things. For me, humans on the same page removed from
their feelings generally leads to better decisions for the whole
overall. So what is there to look at on Christmas? There’s
thousands of kids returning home to families, stores littered with
just, so much shit, it’s truly hard to wrap your head around where
and why it all came from, and plenty of time to meditate on how quick
this break from school will be over and how little most people know
of what they’ll do after graduation.
Transparency is important for an
accurate report. If you can’t see something, you can only assume
that it's there. And while there’s a practical application of
assuming, if you want something positive to come from your report,
you need to be able to support it. I’d say most people refrain from
complaining about parents during the holidays, after all cash and
prizes are poised and ready to roll through, but from many of my
friends the story of that relationship tends to come off as more bad
than good, in general. If we take what people say about their parents
or siblings as true, what can we then say about a society that forces
itself “together” under the guise of cheer and love? Is it a
helpful utility or a dramatic antithetical response used to mask
deeper feelings?
It’s a pain to try and gather data on
such a subject, and probably just has to be asked by people
individually. Once you start to roll in the statistics it changes the
behavior, so all you can do is once again try to observe and report.
So how many have you watched people
spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars this season out of love
and charity? More importantly, how many have you watched yourselves
spend money out of these things? I would venture to guess that the
concern wasn’t what company you were supporting or if the change
you dropped into the Salvation Army box was actually going to a meal.
It is most certainly at times like this, what convention does to our
day to day reality that I love to report. I like learning of a
company that supports a Christian group that prides itself on curing
gays. Oh, the irony of your gay friends loving Gloria Jeans. I wish I
didn’t find it delicious now, as if I get anything but the free
samples anymore anyway…
I think the more crushing blows come
from observing the planetary impact of consumption. I would just
watch a TED talk on swapping and sharing resources two weeks before
Christmas. Did dad get a new drill this season he might use a handful
of times this year? How many tons of plastic are used in gift cards
because somehow cash isn’t good enough anymore? Did that Friends
box set really fill the emotional hole your older sister is feeling
from not having a boyfriend or husband to share holidays with? I kind
of see the human equivalent of a dog licking the wounds of a hurt
companion. Clearly, Honda plus dog = vet, not box set. I wonder how
many stories were told “so and so went through this or that and
could really use a fill in the blank.” BUT NICK P. NORMAL PEOPLE
REALLY DO LOVE EACH OTHER AND APPRECIATE THEIR GIFTS!
More power to them. I appreciate what I
have and don’t expect anyone to be of lesser capacity. As with more
observations and reports though, there’s always a deeper story. As
much as I have moments where I like to get lost in dramatic displays
and pageantry, I’m never happier than when I’ve bottomed out and
become “enlightened” or educated about something transcendently
personal and then share it. The only gift I feel helps validate why
I’m here is knowledge and utility. If I can’t help you be a
better you, then how can I gauge or appreciate what I’m doing or
not with myself? Teaching my parents how to torrent for example
instead of dropping 50 bucks on a season of some show. Applying
thoughts on work or the meaning of friendship to help motivate
previously tough decisions about who and where to associate with and
why. If I throw a party, I want it not to be about that I could
afford it, but that I provided an opportunity for people to connect,
and the positive feelings or relationships from that should last more
than any financial burden it may have felt like at the time.
I really hope people don’t get pissed
off or afraid when they look for the more complicated story. The best
way to do that seems to be observing from yourself the kinds of
things that make your world conducive to fulfillment and happiness.
If watching your credit card swipe is going to bring you more anxiety
and worry than a friend or family members smile can absolve, maybe
you shouldn’t swipe the card. It’s this sort of nitty gritty
practical notion I’d like to see out of most people, and it’s
obviously how I’m going to try and conduct myself regardless of the
season.
HAPPY STOLEN BIRTHDAY BABY JESUS!
p.s. writing this has given me an
awesome business idea.
